do you just eventually give up?

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

No.  It's generally correct for most guys from what I've observed.  I've ended up going home with a few not-so-hot girls back in my younger days.  Especially after a big night on the booze.

Hence the term "beer goggles".   It's a thing.  And it can happen to either gender.

[miranda561]

56 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

The problem with this mentality is that it serves to throw the Sexual Marketplace Value for both sexes out the window.  It artificially inflates women's SMV whilst lowering men's significantly.

Where women who cannot comprehend how a man thinks, and are utterly repulsed upon realization, it generally wouldn't occur to them that the guy chasing her who's better looking for a male relative to her, is just looking for a quick fling.

This lady would genuinely believe that she's attractive to him, or else, why would he pursue her?  When he dumps her like a body in the Hudson River after he's had a bit of fun, she cannot comprehend why, and just gets upset and things men are @$$holes. 

Yet, when she goes back for more, she discards her equal in terms of looks, because better looking guys are after her.  Those guys are "stooping" to get an easy lay, rinse and repeat.  In the case of OLD, however, she's always going to swipe right to the hotter guys, as those are the guys she'll match with. 

Unbeknownst to her, though, is the fact that those same guys have probably swiped on almost everyone and are playing a numbers game.  And, if they're keen on that girl, it just means that they didn't have any luck with any of the girls hotter than her.

Unfortunately for the guys who are looking for something more than just a fling, they're judged to the same looks standard.  Women who've been constantly purused by better looking guys, often with ungenuine intentions, have become attracted to a particular standard and don't want to "lower" their standards.

It's a mess for both sexes and, for the most part, OLD does a disservice to both.  People just need to understand how to use it and realize that it's less about themselves, and more about the toxicity of the monster that OLD has created.  If people can realize that, they should be able to navigate it whilst handling rejection like water off a duck's back.

 

Or maybe men in particular should stop acting like a holes. 😁😂

And im sure most women know their equal in terms of looks. As do men.

Personally as i already said an attractive guy without anything else to offer isnt going to cut it ( he could be a ten out of ten) I've given chances to all kinds of guys..under  average, Average and above average.

If they don't have the full package whats the point. 

Edited May 23, 2020 by miranda561

[miranda561]

59 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

The problem with this mentality is that it serves to throw the Sexual Marketplace Value for both sexes out the window.  It artificially inflates women's SMV whilst lowering men's significantly.

Where women who cannot comprehend how a man thinks, and are utterly repulsed upon realization, it generally wouldn't occur to them that the guy chasing her who's better looking for a male relative to her, is just looking for a quick fling.

This lady would genuinely believe that she's attractive to him, or else, why would he pursue her?  When he dumps her like a body in the Hudson River after he's had a bit of fun, she cannot comprehend why, and just gets upset and things men are @$$holes. 

Yet, when she goes back for more, she discards her equal in terms of looks, because better looking guys are after her.  Those guys are "stooping" to get an easy lay, rinse and repeat.  In the case of OLD, however, she's always going to swipe right to the hotter guys, as those are the guys she'll match with. 

Unbeknownst to her, though, is the fact that those same guys have probably swiped on almost everyone and are playing a numbers game.  And, if they're keen on that girl, it just means that they didn't have any luck with any of the girls hotter than her.

Unfortunately for the guys who are looking for something more than just a fling, they're judged to the same looks standard.  Women who've been constantly purused by better looking guys, often with ungenuine intentions, have become attracted to a particular standard and don't want to "lower" their standards.

It's a mess for both sexes and, for the most part, OLD does a disservice to both.  People just need to understand how to use it and realize that it's less about themselves, and more about the toxicity of the monster that OLD has created.  If people can realize that, they should be able to navigate it whilst handling rejection like water off a duck's back.

 

You cannot simply generalise  everyone  though.

There was a poster earlier who said..there's no way he would go for a woman even casually. If he does not find her attractive.

[Trail Blazer]

Just now, miranda561 said:

You cannot simply generalise  everyone  though.

There was a poster earlier who said..there's no way he would go for a woman even casually. If he does not find her attractive.

I haven't.  These days I am the same. 

I was the term, " Young, dumb and full of cum" back in the day and didn't generally wait around for miss perfect.  Having said that, OLD wasn't really a thing back when I'm talking about, in the early/mid noughties. 

As long as she wasn't butt ugly or as big as a house, I'd take her back to mine for a bit of fun of that's what she was up for.  It doesn't mean in endorsed her level of attractiveness as being equal to mine.  It just meant I was horny and thought, "she'll do."

These days I wouldn't look twice at a woman who isn't hot (in my subjective opinion).  I still have a high sex drive, but I'm not ruled by my penis anymore.  The one night stands and FWBs I've had in the last year just didn't really do it for me like back in the day.

 

[elaine567]

There are plenty of games played on both sides.
Women hook up with "throw away" guys too, looks good but he is a bit of a meat head, doesn't look good, but his wallet looks great...he is loads of fun but there is no depth... etc.
Men get used and abused too by women, women who are out for #1.
All's fair in love and war...
 

[Trail Blazer]

19 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Hence the term "beer goggles".   It's a thing.  And it can happen to either gender.

I'm aware of the term, and yes, very much subscribe to it.  Funnily enough, though, in my experience I've managed to attract the most physically unattractive when I've been drunk, yet the most attractive ones when they've been sober.  It's fair to say I don't drink or party like I used to, AND I'm much better for it! 🤣

[Content]

29 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Or maybe men in particular should stop acting like a holes. 😁😂

And im sure most women know their equal in terms of looks. As do men.

Personally as i already said an attractive guy without anything else to offer isnt going to cut it ( he could be a ten out of ten) I've given chances to all kinds of guys..under  average, Average and above average.

If they don't have the full package whats the point. 

How do people know there  equal in terms of looks? 
 

Most people aren’t  9’s or 10’s nor 1’s and 2’s most are in the middle somewhere and it can be very objective in the middle in terms of looks and depends on the persons tastes.

Edited May 23, 2020 by Content

[chillii]

Doesn't have to be complicated . When you like each other in every ways or most of the important ways , your both on the right track,

[miranda561]

28 minutes ago, Content said:

How do people know there  equal in terms of looks? 
 

Most people aren’t  9’s or 10’s nor 1’s and 2’s most are in the middle somewhere and it can be very objective in the middle in terms of looks and depends on the persons tastes.

Of course they know! You're telling me an attractive womanisnt going to know shes attractive. Or vice versa. Get real 😂

[miranda561]

19 minutes ago, chillii said:

Doesn't have to be complicated . When you like each other in every ways or most of the important ways , your both on the right track,

Well according  to every male poster on here. Only looks matter 😂

[miranda561]

43 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

I haven't.  These days I am the same. 

I was the term, " Young, dumb and full of cum" back in the day and didn't generally wait around for miss perfect.  Having said that, OLD wasn't really a thing back when I'm talking about, in the early/mid noughties. 

As long as she wasn't butt ugly or as big as a house, I'd take her back to mine for a bit of fun of that's what she was up for.  It doesn't mean in endorsed her level of attractiveness as being equal to mine.  It just meant I was horny and thought, "she'll do."

These days I wouldn't look twice at a woman who isn't hot (in my subjective opinion).  I still have a high sex drive, but I'm not ruled by my penis anymore.  The one night stands and FWBs I've had in the last year just didn't really do it for me like back in the day.

 

So youwere just desperate back in the day. And less so now 😁

[basil67]

3 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

@miranda561 your reactions are priceless and exactly the evidence that shows men and women are different when it comes to casual sex! You can’t even fathom it!

Weezy, don't make the mistake of thinking that Miranda's reactions represent all women.  

[Content]

1 hour ago, miranda561 said:

Of course they know! You're telling me an attractive womanisnt going to know shes attractive. Or vice versa. Get real 😂

That wasn’t the question. What does that have to do with knowing who your exact looks equal is?

and not everyone agrees with who is attractive and who isn’t  when we’re talking the average person walking down the street I’m not talking models or some sex symbol famous  person 

Edited May 24, 2020 by Content

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, miranda561 said:

Well according  to every male poster on here. Only looks matter 😂

No, not at all.  Looks is the number one metric, but if I'm going to want anything more than a fling, she'd better have something inside her cute little head! 😘

[miranda561]

18 minutes ago, Content said:

That wasn’t the question. What does that have to do with knowing who your exact looks equal is?

and not everyone agrees with who is attractive and who isn’t  when we’re talking the average person walking down the street I’m not talking models or some sex symbol famous  person 

I think if you know your level of attraction and appeal you will also know who is/isn't  out of your league. 

Edited May 24, 2020 by miranda561

[miranda561]

14 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

No, not at all.  Looks is the number one metric, but if I'm going to want anything more than a fling, she'd better have something inside her cute little head! 😘

What if shes a ten. But missing other qualities. What then?.. i thought earlier someone said men only look at how good looking a woman is and notmuch else.

Clearly all those statements are just not valid..😂

[miranda561]

21 minutes ago, Content said:

That wasn’t the question. What does that have to do with knowing who your exact looks equal is?

and not everyone agrees with who is attractive and who isn’t  when we’re talking the average person walking down the street I’m not talking models or some sex symbol famous  person 

ffor example myself..not being bigheaded but from what other people say to me.. i usually get majority of women/ men i come across saying im either "hot/beautifull/pretty"...

I just think if someone is attractive there will tend to be a consensus.

 

[Content]

1 minute ago, miranda561 said:

I think if you know your level of attraction and appeal you will also know who is/isn't  out of your league. 

I don’t believe in leagues(Excluding  the extremes outliers on the good or bad looking scale) I believe in connections.

There have been women some would say were “out of my league” who have been attracted to me and women who were not very attractive who weren’t attracted to me.

Attraction isn’t as  robotic and rigid as you seem to think were someone says “ ima 6 there is another  6 let’s go out”

But whatever works for you I guess.

[Trail Blazer]

1 hour ago, miranda561 said:

So youwere just desperate back in the day. And less so now 😁

I was immature back then.  When I was younger I had no idea about women, how they thought, what made them tick.  Combined with the lack of maturity displayed by the majority of the girls my age at the time as well (teenage years and very early 20s), I just found girls confusing and frustrating.

I wanted sex and I didn't care what was going through thosr girls heads because, for the most part, I was convinced it wasn't worth knowing anyway.  To use an analogy to describe my teenage and young adult sexual pursuits; I was like electricity, only ever going through the path of least resistance.

It's fair to say that in the following 12 years which predeceded my early 20s, marriage and two children taught me a lot about women and life.  I realized that partly through desperation and partly through a lack of maturity, I ended up in a situation which wasn't making me happy.

I didn't know what I wanted before I got with my now ex-wife, but I certainly figured out what I wanted throughout my marriage.  The longer the marriage went on, the more convinced I was.  I discovered the man I was capable of being, and post-separation, that discovery was realized.

These days my standards are very high.  I don't need a woman in my life, but I sure do enjoy having one around - so long as she enriches my life and not detracts from it.

I swiped left more than I swiped right.  I wasn't interested in anyone I didn't think was hot.  I knocked back many date offers from PoF, but did go on a couple of dates with "borderline" attractiveness levels to give them a chance. 

They were keen on me, but my lack of desperation was replaced with an unwillingness to have sex with women I could tell would want something more.  So, I declined second dates with those women.

I am not sure how old you are, Miranda.  I am approaching 36 and I feel it's the prime age of my life.  I'm approaching peak earning potential, I'm a lot wiser than in my youth but working out regularly sees me in the best shape of my life. 

I'm proud of the man who I have become and the challenging times I've gotten through.  I believe that this attitude reflects in a level of attractiveness to women and I attribute it partly to the success I've had on OLD and the great relationship I find myself currently in.

I have a lot to be thankful for and I hope you can find happiness in your life, too.  That also goes for ZA and everyone else on the LS community who's hoping to find love and happiness. 🤗

[miranda561]

4 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

I was immature back then.  When I was younger I had no idea about women, how they thought, what made them tick.  Combined with the lack of maturity displayed by the majority of the girls my age at the time as well (teenage years and very early 20s), I just found girls confusing and frustrating.

I wanted sex and I didn't care what was going through thosr girls heads because, for the most part, I was convinced it wasn't worth knowing anyway.  To use an analogy to describe my teenage and young adult sexual pursuits; I was like electricity, only ever going through the path of least resistance.

It's fair to say that in the following 12 years which predeceded my early 20s, marriage and two children taught me a lot about women and life.  I realized that partly through desperation and partly through a lack of maturity, I ended up in a situation which wasn't making me happy.

I didn't know what I wanted before I got with my now ex-wife, but I certainly figured out what I wanted throughout my marriage.  The longer the marriage went on, the more convinced I was.  I discovered the man I was capable of being, and post-separation, that discovery was realized.

These days my standards are very high.  I don't need a woman in my life, but I sure do enjoy having one around - so long as she enriches my life and not detracts from it.

I swiped left more than I swiped right.  I wasn't interested in anyone I didn't think was hot.  I knocked back many date offers from PoF, but did go on a couple of dates with "borderline" attractiveness levels to give them a chance. 

They were keen on me, but my lack of desperation was replaced with an unwillingness to have sex with women I could tell would want something more.  So, I declined second dates with those women.

I am not sure how old you are, Miranda.  I am approaching 36 and I feel it's the prime age of my life.  I'm approaching peak earning potential, I'm a lot wiser than in my youth but working out regularly sees me in the best shape of my life. 

I'm proud of the man who I have become and the challenging times I've gotten through.  I believe that this attitude reflects in a level of attractiveness to women and I attribute it partly to the success I've had on OLD and the great relationship I find myself currently in.

I have a lot to be thankful for and I hope you can find happiness in your life, too.  That also goes for ZA and everyone else on the LS community who's hoping to find love and happiness. 🤗

Thanks.

In in my mid 20s. There is a dude on the horizon. But im not sure yet if ill even go there 

So what is it which put you off thewomen you didnt meet  a second time?

 

 

[Trail Blazer]

14 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

What if shes a ten. But missing other qualities. What then?.. i thought earlier someone said men only look at how good looking a woman is and notmuch else.

Clearly all those statements are just not valid..😂

This has already been proposed.  Not everything is black and white and everyone has different needs.  The blanket rule here is that for almost every sitation, almost every man needs to find a woman at least somewhat attractive if he's going to be in a relationship with her.

If she's unattractive but he's really horny, he might, out of desperation and if no better offers are present, have a relationship with her anywhere from a one night stand to a FWB type thing.  If he's a chump, well he might actually marry her (I somewhat put myself in this boat).

When it comes to OLD, a man may only look at looks and not much else.  I mean, if I'm scrolling through Tinder or Bumble, there's not much else to go on.  However, if we match then I'll take the time to read her profile before we chat.  If she comes across as cray cray, or displays obvious red flags (toxic male-hating rants or extreme entitlement) I will just unmatch before wasting any further time.

There are degrees and contexts to every situation which can't make for black or white answers.  Yes, everyone is different and with anything I say, I say it generally and never state it as an absolute.  When I state something which I've experienced anecdotally, I will always preface it my saying, "in my experience."

[miranda561]

18 minutes ago, Content said:

I don’t believe in leagues(Excluding  the extremes outliers on the good or bad looking scale) I believe in connections.

There have been women some would say were “out of my league” who have been attracted to me and women who were not very attractive who weren’t attracted to me.

Attraction isn’t as  robotic and rigid as you seem to think were someone says “ ima 6 there is another  6 let’s go out”

But whatever works for you I guess.

Im just talking about looks mainly because thats what men seem to all generally care about.

Well in your case it must be a combination of different things which caused them to be attracted to you. 

I think women make it pretty simple...if they genuinely like you you will know off the bat. They dont tend to falsify their feelings/manipulate/ play games and use men for whatever  they can get. 

[miranda561]

7 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

This has already been proposed.  Not everything is black and white and everyone has different needs.  The blanket rule here is that for almost every sitation, almost every man needs to find a woman at least somewhat attractive if he's going to be in a relationship with her.

If she's unattractive but he's really horny, he might, out of desperation and if no better offers are present, have a relationship with her anywhere from a one night stand to a FWB type thing.  If he's a chump, well he might actually marry her (I somewhat put myself in this boat).

When it comes to OLD, a man may only look at looks and not much else.  I mean, if I'm scrolling through Tinder or Bumble, there's not much else to go on.  However, if we match then I'll take the time to read her profile before we chat.  If she comes across as cray cray, or displays obvious red flags (toxic male-hating rants or extreme entitlement) I will just unmatch before wasting any further time.

There are degrees and contexts to every situation which can't make for black or white answers.  Yes, everyone is different and with anything I say, I say it generally and never state it as an absolute.  When I state something which I've experienced anecdotally, I will always preface it my saying, "in my experience."

With old on the app. Mypic isnt visible as i chose for it not to be. As soon as we match pretty much most guys will be like show me how you look. With barely a hello. So on that front i agree it is to do with looks.

Some guys are very entitled. They take their time to reply as soon as i do the same..they'll unmatch. I swear half those  guys need a psychologist before signing up to OLD.  ONE GUY yesterday started  friendly..asked to see my pic..saw my pic..asked what colour my eyes were. Im  guessing he liked my eyes ( theyre green). I read the message and didnt reply straight  away. Maybe came back n hour later n he had unmatched just as i was going  to reply. What a freak. Totally entitled

[Trail Blazer]

20 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Thanks.

In in my mid 20s. There is a dude on the horizon. But im not sure yet if ill even go there 

So what is it which put you off thewomen you didnt meet  a second time?

 

 

Well, one girl was 37 and had a an 18-year-old daughter.  She asked me quickly to meet up, which she did.  She had no education, was not particularly bright, and lived in a very small house with her mom.  She didn't talk much about herself, aspirations - she was just a very blank, vanilla person. 

She was attractive and classy looking, and plenty of photos lounging around in resort-style accommodation by the pool, drinking cocktails and the like.  I guess she looked more fun than she was.  Talking to her and getting something, anything out of her was hard work.

Another one was from Colombia.  She also had two kids, but they were younger.  She had an incredible body and a voice like Sofia Vergara.  She turned up to the date in her active wear and her little white dog.  I'd been pre-warned, which was cool.

The date went well okay, as she was funny and had a big, bubbly personality.  I did feel she was a little overbearing, though, but it wasn't ultimately a deal-breaker.  What was a deal-breaker was when she started messaging me within a few hours, saying how much she loved our date and said I should meet her next weekend with my two kids for a picnic.

I told her polity that I don't introduce my kids to people I've only been on one date with.  She messaged back, "Okay, I under stand" and followed up half an hour lately with "suit yourself' after I didn't reply.  I told her things wouldn't work out between us bur wished her all the best.  That was the last I heard from her.

Edited May 24, 2020 by Trail Blazer

[miranda561]

5 minutes ago, Trail Blazer said:

Well, one girl was 37 and had a an 18-year-old daughter.  She asked me quickly to meet up, which she did.  She had no education, was not particularly bright, and lived in a very small house with her mom.  She didn't talk much about herself, aspirations - she was just a very blank, vanilla person. 

She was attractive and classy looking, and plenty of photos lounging around in resort-style accommodation by the pool, drinking cocktails and the like.  I guess she looked more fun than she was.  Talking to her and getting something, anything out of her was hard work.

Another one was from Colombia.  She also had two kids, but they were younger.  She had an incredible body and a voice like Sofia Vergara.  She turned up to the date in her active wear and her little white dog.  I'd been pre-warned, which was cool.

The date went well okay, as she was funny and had a big, bubbly personality.  I did feel she was a little overbearing, though, but it wasn't ultimately a deal-breaker.  What was a deal-breaker was when she started messaging me within a few hours, saying how much she loved our date and said I should meet her next weekend with my two kids for a picnic.

I told her polity that I don't introduce my kids to people I've only been on one date with.  She messaged back, "Okay, I under stand" and followed up half an hour lately with "suit yourself' after I didn't reply.  I told her things wouldn't work out betweenbetweed wished her all the best.  That was the last I heard from her.

Do you think the first one was nervous or shy maybe so she didnt speak much. Thisis why i think giving someone  a second chance is always a good idea. 

And the second one..was it because  she was too forward. You could have just said to take it slow instead of telling her you wish her well. 😂. I guess  you really wern't into either that much 

So tell me about  a successful date and what it was which you liked ultimately about the person.