Weezy1973 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 I’m pretty sure @ZA Dater just swipes right on everybody which is why he gets “matches” that he’s not attracted to. @ZA Dater stop doing that! It’s true you’ll get far fewer matches, and that’s okay. Join more sites / apps to get those numbers up. It’s a numbers game. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 which is hardly a winning strategy, when he isn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 5 minutes ago, 5x5 said: Through my whole life I have never dated any woman that wasn't both very pretty and sexually attractive as well. It was a first date. Whether he found her attractive or not. He couldn't leave. Well im sorry if you cant see past your own ego. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, miranda561 said: It was a first date. Whether he found her attractive or not. He couldn't leave. Of course he could leave, there's no legal requirement for anyone to prolong a date with someone that repulses them. "I'm sorry yet I'm not attracted to you, so I don't think this is going to work and I don't think it would be fair to waste your time any further." Edited May 13, 2020 by 5x5 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, 5x5 said: Of course he could leave, there's no legal requirement for anyone to prolong a date with someone that repulses them. "I'm sorry yet I'm not attracted to you, so I don't think this is going to work and I don't think it would be fair to waste your time any further." Its just called being a decent human being. He can say it afterwards at least, rather than meeting the woman and straight away rejecting her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 3 hours ago, 5x5 said: Then why on earth did you date her in the first place if you knew what she looked like beforehand? Or if you didn't know what she looked like before your date, why did you carry on having a date with her after finding her so repulsive on first sight? Dating anybody you don't potentially want to have sex with, doesn't make any sense to me. Well seeing as her only picture was of her face I had nothing to go on, her face is attractive enough for me to give the benefit of the doubt. People here also keep telling me its a number game so yes I'd say 95% of the dates I have been on were with people I wouldn't want to sleep with, my logic was more dates would give me more a read on people, again this proved to be untrue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Weezy1973 said: I’m pretty sure @ZA Dater just swipes right on everybody which is why he gets “matches” that he’s not attracted to. @ZA Dater stop doing that! It’s true you’ll get far fewer matches, and that’s okay. Join more sites / apps to get those numbers up. It’s a numbers game. Nope all I do is boost my profile, this is where the matches come from, if I swipe only on the ones I like I literally get not matches at all. I think I am done with going on pointless dates with people I don't find attractive, at least I sort of gave them a chance. I have been on virtually all the sites here and its just the same people recycled over and over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, miranda561 said: This is spot on. I have the same mentality, i dont need to or am desperate enough to go after a man who isnt giving me much. Since all i have to do to engage with another guy is go through my endless messages in my OLD inbox..or even my WhatsApp inbox. Not trying to sound arrogant but that's the reality Exactly the point I am making......its easy for moderately, reasonably in shape ladies to attract attention of people they find attractive. Its not so easy for guys....I can attract attention just none of it I want at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 4 hours ago, an0nym0us123 said: Attractive women will have numerous men chasing, "orbitors" as some call them. They will bend over backwards to get her attention, they she will go after the guy she really wants. Chances are he wasnt doing very much. This is what happened when i got with my ex. She left her bf and every single guy she knew was bombing her with texts and invites to go for drinks. There were at least 10 trying it on. None of them got anywhere I think I have more often than not fallen into the category on the very rare occasion I have managed to befriend someone I like. Is it bad, well in some ways its better than trawling through endless profiles of what as someone pointed out here are incompatible people. Friend of mine who does quite well at dating found that going to trance parties and music festivals made his dating life better, its doubtful if he actually likes either of these activities but as I am often told "the chicks are hot", for what its worth he is older than me. The intrinsic problem is meeting people to begin with and when I look at where I can meet single ladies the answer is really nowhere. It just feels like people built up groups of friends in school and college and met people through those friends, at 36 I cant see myself finding any such group now because by 36 most ladies are attached. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 22 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: It just feels like people built up groups of friends in school and college and met people through those friends, at 36 I cant see myself finding any such group now because by 36 most ladies are attached But at thirty six you will now be getting the women who are products of relationships that didn't work out for one reason or another. Some of which will be minus their old friend groups. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 3 minutes ago, elaine567 said: But at thirty six you will now be getting the women who are products of relationships that didn't work out for one reason or another. Some of which will be minus their old friend groups. Yeah which is absolutely fantastic, I cannot wait for all these wonderful matches, the real picks, I am falling over my own feet in excitement. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 minute ago, ZA Dater said: Yeah which is absolutely fantastic, I cannot wait for all these wonderful matches, the real picks, I am falling over my own feet in excitement. But you are the product of relationships that didn't work out too... I am not sure why you are being so superior about this, at least they managed to have some sort of relationship, which is more than you have ever accomplished. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ZA Dater Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 30 minutes ago, elaine567 said: But you are the product of relationships that didn't work out too... I am not sure why you are being so superior about this, at least they managed to have some sort of relationship, which is more than you have ever accomplished. I don't want their baggage and to be blunt I don't want their kids either. I haven't had any relationships so the first part is false. Been down this road before and single divorced moms are about as interesting to me as a white wall. My range is 24-33 no kids. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 1 hour ago, ZA Dater said: I think I have more often than not fallen into the category on the very rare occasion I have managed to befriend someone I like. Is it bad, well in some ways its better than trawling through endless profiles of what as someone pointed out here are incompatible people. Friend of mine who does quite well at dating found that going to trance parties and music festivals made his dating life better, its doubtful if he actually likes either of these activities but as I am often told "the chicks are hot", for what its worth he is older than me. The intrinsic problem is meeting people to begin with and when I look at where I can meet single ladies the answer is really nowhere. It just feels like people built up groups of friends in school and college and met people through those friends, at 36 I cant see myself finding any such group now because by 36 most ladies are attached. Why dont u join him at festivals/trance parties 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 6 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: My range is 24-33 no kids. I can understand the no kids part, but that’s a very random age range. 5 to 10 years older / younger is usually good. 12 years to 3 years younger is really random. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: I can understand the no kids part, but that’s a very random age range. 5 to 10 years older / younger is usually good. 12 years to 3 years younger is really random. Random is not the word for it, but understand it is common in the US for men to only go for younger, often much younger. Edited May 13, 2020 by SumGuy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Just now, ZA Dater said: I don't want their baggage and to be blunt I don't want their kids either. I haven't had any relationships so the first part is false. To be blunt, being a 36 year old virgin who has never got beyond a first or perhaps second date his entire life. Who evidently can't manage to connect with women romantically, while harbouring an extraordinary sense of self entitlement, plus plenty of vitriol towards women. Is someone with a banner parade of red flag baggage. So any single or divorced mums that are out there, are already evidently levels of tremendous magnitude above you in terms of relationship skills. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 16 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: I can understand the no kids part, but that’s a very random age range. 5 to 10 years older / younger is usually good. 12 years to 3 years younger is really random. Older men like younger women. And from his posts where all he talks about in terms of wanting very attractive females only. Are you surprised. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Older men like younger women. And from his posts where all he talks about in terms of wanting very attractive females only. Are you surprised. Not surprised really. For someone who wants to connect and experience something meaningful @ZA Dater pretty much does the opposite of what he should be doing to accomplish that. And, way more importantly, doesn’t want to change what he’s doing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 26 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: Been down this road before and single divorced moms are about as interesting to me as a white wall. You've not been down any road, with respect. What you're saying is that you have had first dates with a handful of single mothers you didn't find to your liking; that's totally different. With comments like these, you are making it super difficult to have any kind of sympathy for you, truthfully. I hope you're just having a bad day. Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 45 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: I don't want their baggage and to be blunt I don't want their kids either. I haven't had any relationships so the first part is false. And nobody wants you and your baggage. There. The world is balanced. You’re not better than them. Condescending Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 26 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Random is not the word for it, but understand it is common in the US for men to only go for younger, often much younger. ZA Dater is in South Africa. However, I guess it makes little difference, where he lives. Some guys want younger but as a 36yo with no experience whatsoever and little interest from women, he may be well advised to not be so picky and broaden his age range.. He is also 36 going on 46, in lifestyle, friend group/hobbies, not 36 going on 26... But we have all been through this before... Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, elaine567 said: ZA Dater is in South Africa. Oh yeah, know he is in ZA...sometimes like to caveat my responses as my direct dating experience is US (mostly). But we have all been through this before... Indeed, but maybe the nth time is the charm. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 33 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: Not surprised really. For someone who wants to connect and experience something meaningful @ZA Dater pretty much does the opposite of what he should be doing to accomplish that. And, way more importantly, doesn’t want to change what he’s doing. I guess for some people its their way or the highway Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 37 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said: You've not been down any road, with respect. What you're saying is that you have had first dates with a handful of single mothers you didn't find to your liking; that's totally different. With comments like these, you are making it super difficult to have any kind of sympathy for you, truthfully. I hope you're just having a bad day. Those are his opinions😂 as harsh as they seem. I don't think he will change them any time soon Link to post Share on other sites
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