do you just eventually give up?

[QuietRiot]

2 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Forget pof then. Try another site.

Would you say you are attractive? How would you rate yourself. 

 

I've tried other sites. Again bots. Even a paid side like Match is guilty of this. OF course, it's full of inactive profiles. Only a small handful of people are paid s ubscribers.

Also, some women's profiles are like "Just ask" no effort whatsoever.

Edited May 22, 2020 by QuietRiot

[miranda561]

3 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

I've tried other sites. Again bots. Even a paid side like Match is guilty of this. OF course, it's full of inactive profiles. Only a small handful of people are paid s ubscribers.

Also, some women's profiles are like "Just ask" no effort whatsoever.

Oh. A lot of mens profiles i come across are like "just ask" too😂😂😂. 

I've never come across  bots though. 

I guess just have patience then?

What about meeting people in person. Without Old

[QuietRiot]

7 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Oh. A lot of mens profiles i come across are like "just ask" too😂😂😂. 

I've never come across  bots though. 

I guess just have patience then?

What about meeting people in person. Without Old

Kind of hard to do with the whole Pandemic thing happening.  Prior to that, meeting people in person isn't what it used to be. Where I live...most women in my age bracket are married or missing teeth (Just think Tiger King ,Trump lovin' variety, lol)  The rest are Baby boomer aged and older, retirees. Anyone attractive is married or spoken for.

What's funny is, the women that had ignored my messages. I have bumped into in person...but I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to approach them cold turkey at a grocery store or gym saying, "Hey , aren't you on Match/Pof?" Esp. if they may remember my face. lol

I honestly think a lot of people, esp. women, are preferring the online route. I've seen a lot of women express how they hate being approached while shopping working out.  They are like 'Im  there to shop" or "I'm not there for that". 

Oh, and the "just ask"...well, it was bound to happen with both genders. We've reached an equilibrium where the men stopped putting effort into crafting quality emails to women when they go unanswered. Why put all that work into something with no return, right?

Edited May 22, 2020 by QuietRiot

[miranda561]

12 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

Kind of hard to do with the whole Pandemic thing happening.  Prior to that, meeting people in person isn't what it used to be. Where I live...most women in my age bracket are married or missing teeth (Just think Tiger King ,Trump lovin' variety, lol)  The rest are Baby boomer aged and older, retirees. Anyone attractive is married or spoken for.

What's funny is, the women that had ignored my messages. I have bumped into in person...but I'm not sure if it would be a good idea to approach them cold turkey at a grocery store or gym saying, "Hey , aren't you on Match/Pof?" Esp. if they may remember my face. lol

I honestly think a lot of people, esp. women, are preferring the online route. I've seen a lot of women express how they hate being approached while shopping working out.  They are like 'Im  there to shop" or "I'm not there for that". 

Oh, and the "just ask"...well, it was bound to happen with both genders. We've reached an equilibrium where the men stopped putting effort into crafting quality emails to women when they go unanswered. Why put all that work into something with no return, right?

Where do you live and whats your age. There are going to be millenials who are single  im sure 🤔. A lot of my friends are still single and myself so there are people out there.

 

I think approaching someone and saying you've seen them online may come across Stalkerish 😂. So i wouldnt do that. But then again it depends on the woman. Some like being chatted up. Maybe dont mention that you've  come across their profiles 

Due to the pandemic though youre right it is hard meeting others. Im in the same boat. 😐

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[QuietRiot]

Just now, miranda561 said:

Where do you live and whats your age. There are going to be millenials who are single  im sure 🤔. A lot of my friends are still single and myself so there are people out there.

 

I think approaching someone and saying you've seen them online may come across Stalkerish 😂. So i wouldnt do that.

Due to the pandemic though youre right it is hard meeting others. Im in the same boat. 😐

The bolded...yeah, I came across the same woman, twice in real life. In her case, we had chatted on match, even gave me the impression that she was wanting to meet up with me...then...she ghosted.

One day, I"m at a pizza cafe...and a familiar face walks through the door to do a pick-up. Me and my friend were playing cards...she looks our direction and goes, "Cute!" and walks towards the counter. Strangest thing.

Then when I"m work...guess what, she shows up. (Not because of me, but because she needed a service provided). Talk about kizmet. She actually sees me goes..."oh...hi..." as if it was a, "Hey, I've seen that guy before" look. BUt it was an awkward look.

[nospam99]

miranda said ''its easier for a.man to find a decent woman than it is for a woman to find a decent man ''

While it might be easier for a man to FIND a decent woman, I question whether it's easier for a man to get a decent woman to meet him or for a woman to get a decent man to meet her.

A lot depends on the definition of decent. I'll claim I'm a decent man: healthy, active, loyal, giving, caring, no drugs, no crimes.

I'm talking OLD here because since I 'returned' to dating two and a half years ago whatever communication I've had with women in a dating context has ONLY been via OLD. Generally women don't tell me why they are not interested. However some do. NONE of them have questioned or complained about my 'decency'. The few that have 'explained' their lack of interest cite my height or my age. Those characteristics being filters is corroborated by the heights and ages that women say in their profiles that they are seeking in a man. I'm confident that whatever 'decency' I have is not dependent on my height or age.

Putting 'the shoe on the other foot', I'll assume that plenty of the women who don't pass my looks filter are 'decent'.

[miranda561]

4 minutes ago, QuietRiot said:

The bolded...yeah, I came across the same woman, twice in real life. In her case, we had chatted on match, even gave me the impression that she was wanting to meet up with me...then...she ghosted.

One day, I"m at a pizza cafe...and a familiar face walks through the door to do a pick-up. Me and my friend were playing cards...she looks our direction and goes, "Cute!" and walks towards the counter. Strangest thing.

Then when I"m work...guess what, she shows up. (Not because of me, but because she needed a service provided). Talk about kizmet. She actually sees me goes..."oh...hi..." as if it was a, "Hey, I've seen that guy before" look. BUt it was an awkward look.

Oh. Thats just weird.

So ghosted as in..didnt reply to your messages? Did u ask her directly about a meeting.

[QuietRiot]

5 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

miranda said ''its easier for a.man to find a decent woman than it is for a woman to find a decent man ''

While it might be easier for a man to FIND a decent woman, I question whether it's easier for a man to get a decent woman to meet him or for a woman to get a decent man to meet her.

A lot depends on the definition of decent. I'll claim I'm a decent man: healthy, active, loyal, giving, caring, no drugs, no crimes.

I'm talking OLD here because since I 'returned' to dating two and a half years ago whatever communication I've had with women in a dating context has ONLY been via OLD. Generally women don't tell me why they are not interested. However some do. NONE of them have questioned or complained about my 'decency'. The few that have 'explained' their lack of interest cite my height or my age. Those characteristics being filters is corroborated by the heights and ages that women say in their profiles that they are seeking in a man. I'm confident that whatever 'decency' I have is not dependent on my height or age.

Putting 'the shoe on the other foot', I'll assume that plenty of the women who don't pass my looks filter are 'decent'.

Speaking of the height thing.  A woman who retired young moved to my area. Mid-50s, looks pretty good for age. Some weight on her, but I like curves. Anyways....she has in bold, "If you're under 5'10" don't bother!" and she is typical woman height. Like 5'5". 

WHy' Because I wear heels" I mean...I can get a taller woman not wanting to date shorter men. But if you're shorter than a 5'8" guy, isn't that tall enough. Isnt "Taller" than you...tall?

[miranda561]

4 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

Speaking of the height thing.  A woman who retired young moved to my area. Mid-50s, looks pretty good for age. Some weight on her, but I like curves. Anyways....she has in bold, "If you're under 5'10" don't bother!" and she is typical woman height. Like 5'5". 

WHy' Because I wear heels" I mean...I can get a taller woman not wanting to date shorter men. But if you're shorter than a 5'8" guy, isn't that tall enough. Isnt "Taller" than you...tall?

Some women just like tall men. 

Although being 5ft4 myself i would be cool with a guy who is 5ft8..well minimum that is 

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[Weezy1973]

Worrying about other people’s preferences is a waste of time. You’re not going to be dating people who aren’t attracted to you so no need to waste any emotional energy on them.

[ZA Dater]

Ok so this happened today.

New pictures on OLD though not clear face pictures, so basically standing sort of side on.

I get a very nice match and we chat for most of the, voice notes, playful banter and all is going well. She then asks for a full face picture and I send a nice one. Guess what, the chatting stop and she isn't interested anymore. Wish I could say this is the first such occurrence.

What do I do now? Its precisely for this reason I got onto my whole looks soup box.

[Weezy1973]

@ZA Dater you move on. See my post right above yours

[Ellener]

7 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

I honestly think a lot of people, esp. women, are preferring the online route. I've seen a lot of women express how they hate being approached while shopping working out.  They are like 'Im  there to shop" or "I'm not there for that". 

What I like about the dating from online is yes, there are just as many strange things go on there as real life, but for someone like me, I can be clear, as in I'm on this website to set up dates and meet people who are looking for a relationship. When I meet someone in real life it's so often unclear what the hell is going on! and we end up flirting or messing about forever...

The last guy I dated as soon as he said he wanted to get to know me better but also see other people ( which 2 things don't go together for me ) it was really easy to detach and say no. 

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

What do I do now? Its precisely for this reason I got onto my whole looks soup box.

I honestly would not take it personally. There's a whole bunch of people who don't really want a relationship for various reasons and don't want to admit that so they mess people about until it gets real then they run for some reason ( yes like the height thing ) which is their excuse. 

You made it real and she's not ready, maybe never ready.

Next!

But here's a hug because I know sometimes it's hard to stay confident all the time (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

[ZA Dater]

4 minutes ago, Ellener said:

You made it real and she's not ready, maybe never ready.

Next!

But here's a hug because I know sometimes it's hard to stay confident all the time (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

Thanks for the hug. It just happens all the time there is always some issue with my face. She was really nice and we got along well. She was all keen to meet up until she saw face pic.

[Emilie Jolie]

Sorry ZA, it sucks. Console yourself with the fact that she lacked the basic manners to wrap it up in a nice way. You've lost nothing.

Probably best to put clear pics of yourself and stop putting yourself in those 'test' situations; they are bound to affect your self esteem.  

Edited May 22, 2020 by Emilie Jolie

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

Thanks for the hug. It just happens all the time there is always some issue with my face. She was really nice and we got along well. She was all keen to meet up until she saw face pic.

She's a fool then. Put a good face pic on your profile and forget about her. And definitely don't let any degree of bitterness creep into your life or your dating, that's the least attractive quality to real humans looking for real relationships! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[ZA Dater]

16 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Sorry ZA, it sucks. Console yourself with the fact that she lacked the basic manners to wrap it up in a nice way. You've lost nothing.

Probably best to put clear pics of yourself and stop putting yourself in those 'test' situations; they are bound to affect your self esteem.  

That's the problem the nicest face pic I have means I get very few matches at all. She was quite nice actually I guess at the end of the day I was just too ugly for her.

[ZA Dater]

18 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Sorry ZA, it sucks. Console yourself with the fact that she lacked the basic manners to wrap it up in a nice way. You've lost nothing.

Probably best to put clear pics of yourself and stop putting yourself in those 'test' situations; they are bound to affect your self esteem.  

At least with the test situations I do get sometimes a decent match.

[Emilie Jolie]

6 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

At least with the test situations I do get sometimes a decent match.

The price for these 'decent matches' is your self-esteem, though. This is first degree self-sabotage, ZA. 

Edited May 22, 2020 by Emilie Jolie

[ZA Dater]

14 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

The price for these 'decent matches' is your self-esteem, though. This is first degree self-sabotage, ZA. 

Well I guess so but its better than endless bad matches, neither is good for me to be honest.

[Emilie Jolie]

Just now, ZA Dater said:

Well I guess so but its better than endless bad matches, neither is good for me to be honest.

I don't think it is better, you know. Not for your mental health.

[ZA Dater]

4 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

I don't think it is better, you know. Not for your mental health.

Oh well. Not a lot of other options really. At least I had a day of good chatting so that was better than nothing.

[miranda561]

2 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

Thanks for the hug. It just happens all the time there is always some issue with my face. She was really nice and we got along well. She was all keen to meet up until she saw face pic.

What  did she say after  the full face pic?

As in what was the interaction 

[miranda561]

1 hour ago, ZA Dater said:

Oh well. Not a lot of other options really. At least I had a day of good chatting so that was better than nothing.

If she left you hanging shes not a very nice person.

Ive had many moments  where i exchange pics with the guy and hes not my type in any way. But ill never be rude. And completely ghost the person. I will explain or wrap it up in a nice way 

Edited May 22, 2020 by miranda561

[ZA Dater]

8 hours ago, miranda561 said:

If she left you hanging shes not a very nice person.

Ive had many moments  where i exchange pics with the guy and hes not my type in any way. But ill never be rude. And completely ghost the person. I will explain or wrap it up in a nice way 

You are a far better person than these people. Just completely ghosted.