how can I deal with someone who doesnt want to listen and keep interrupting?

[wtm78]

i have a couple of friends who are very quick to jump into talking and tell you their point of view. even when i disagree and try to explain. they tend to cut me off and drive their point through. 

i tried letting them talk first and when they are done i try to explain, they will hear a few words or sentence and then cut you off again and goes on and on on what they want to say. i think its great that they are so passionate about what they think its right, but it is frustrating when you are trying to explain something that is important for the conversation to continue.  

anyone has that kind of people in their life and how do you deal with them? 

[CaliforniaGirl]

I have, and I'll be honest - really nothing made them stop. Politely bringing up the subject just resulted in "Fine, I'll NEVER talk again," followed by "making up" and then continuing to just never shut up.

[basil67]

I've got some of these in my life - they are close to my hubby, so I don't have a choice.  So I suck it up.   If they weren't connected to hubby, I'd probably not bother with them.

It also helps if you avoid topics which are likely to be contentious.  

Edited April 22, 2020 by basil67

[wtm78]

 

18 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I have, and I'll be honest - really nothing made them stop. Politely bringing up the subject just resulted in "Fine, I'll NEVER talk again," followed by "making up" and then continuing to just never shut up.

wow... that sounds... wow... a little drama mama... 

 

14 minutes ago, basil67 said:

I've got some of these in my life - they are close to my hubby, so I don't have a choice.  So I suck it up.   If they weren't connected to hubby, I'd probably not bother with them.

It also helps if you avoid topics which are likely to be contentious.  

i get you... sometimes topic were non-contentious but along the way.. somehow they evolve into something else.. can be a little draining dont you think? 

 

[basil67]

And yes, also topics which aren’t contentious.  I once mentioned to one of them that I was training my young hens to not sleep on top of each other.  They replied that it’s unnecessary because the chickens will sort themselves out.  They had never kept chickens in their lives!  

Totally draining having to bite my tongue

[schlumpy]

It depends on who it is. I value the opinion of some people more then others and if they have already seen though to the point I was trying to make, I appreciate their acuity. For others I stop what I'm saying and retain my train of thought. When the person stops speaking, I just continue on as if they had never said a word. That works for me.

You have to consider what type of conversationalist you are because that will influence how others react. Some people can take a paragraph and illustrate all of it's important points within  one sentence. I enjoy speaking with people that value a content rich conversation. Other people must go through the story line by line and second by second with frequent side trips to related but inconsequential topics.

I try not to make people look at the clock.

[wtm78]

14 hours ago, schlumpy said:

It depends on who it is. I value the opinion of some people more then others and if they have already seen though to the point I was trying to make, I appreciate their acuity. For others I stop what I'm saying and retain my train of thought. When the person stops speaking, I just continue on as if they had never said a word. That works for me.

You have to consider what type of conversationalist you are because that will influence how others react. Some people can take a paragraph and illustrate all of it's important points within  one sentence. I enjoy speaking with people that value a content rich conversation. Other people must go through the story line by line and second by second with frequent side trips to related but inconsequential topics.

I try not to make people look at the clock.

i noticed some people just gets it immediately, when i am talking, some people neeeds more explaination and some that no matter how i explain.. they somehow are not able to step out of their stigma and be open to hear another opinion... and i am not a very patient converstaionalist, after say rephrasing in 3 different ways or more... i can get impatient... 😞

[ShyViolet]

When people don't have good conversational etiquette, it's a huge pet peeve of mine.  People who talk to much, who just go on and on and don't have the ability to stop talking, you can't get a word in edgewise.... it drives me crazy.

How you're able to deal with it depends on who the person is.  My boyfriend actually has a bit of a habit of talking too much, and I blatantly tell him sometimes.  However, my boss also happens to be a person who talks to much.  When she holds me captive in one of her annoying conversations, there's nothing I can do unfortunately.........

[LuckyM]

This depends on what you are talking about. Politics or religion or what?  Are you contentious? Say look let me finish first. If you are still upset try texting or email or in person. It is easy to have arguments on phone and some people enjoy arguing some are very insensitive and not interested in listening. 

[preraph]

Whatever it's about, if you are efficiently headed towards making a point, get to the point so people don't feel they need to interrupt you, Number 1.  But if you are right in the middle of saying something and it's not taking forever and they interrupt, interrupt back and say, George, Can I please finish my thought?  

[K.K.]

7 minutes ago, preraph said:

Whatever it's about, if you are efficiently headed towards making a point, get to the point so people don't feel they need to interrupt you, Number 1.  But if you are right in the middle of saying something and it's not taking forever and they interrupt, interrupt back and say, George, Can I please finish my thought?  

Yes. This. ^^

I can understand not wanting to be interrupted but don’t hold me hostage with conversations that go like this... this is part of an actual conversation that I unwillingly got dragged into. It took me 45 minutes to get away from this hell because I didn’t want to interrupt and be rude. Believe me it went on and on and on.

Man in hallway of my building: Hello. My name is Mr. Henry. You just must live on the top floor. 

Me: yes, hi nice to meet ..

Him: oh wow you must really love your neighbors they’re the nicest guys.

me: yes they seem like it. Well, I have to go put my laundry ...

Him: Yes they sure are! These millennials are horrid ! Just awful! I was surprised these guys were so nice.

Me: .........

Him: I have a girl coming over from the Medicaid office today she’s ..

Me: .........

Him: ...such a pretty girl! And smart too! I was married to a real bitch back when I lived in North Carolina and she ....

Me... *fuuuuuuuckkk* 🤦‍♀️

Him: ...used to never let me drink whiskey! Her and that damned cat of hers! 

Me: hmmm wow. Imagine that. Cat huh?

Him: I fought in Korea! I’ll be damned if I’m gonna have any woman tell me when I’m gonna drink my Johnny Walker! 

Me: *searching for any way out* 

Him: But that was after I had my leg blown off. 

Me: 🥴

Him: yessirrr !

Me: damn that’s rough ...well it was really lovely to ... 

Him: Take that freaking Trump for instance .. 

Me: yeaaaaaa I dunno  

Him: ... that bastard is ... 

<Mailman comes in> 

Me: Oh wow it’s the mailman let me hold the door for you mailman! !

Ok see ya later Mr. Henry! 🙋‍♀️ 

*runs for my life* 

Nobody should have to be held hostage by a conversation like this. 
 

 

[Cookiesandough]

"Shh!!!! >.> Do you hear that?"

"No, what ?"

"Be right back.."

[wtm78]

that friend i was referring to.. was having a conversation the other day on text. she made a comment that i ask her, why she say that and if she is trying to achieve xxxx...

she suddenly got offended and started to say about how busy she is and how she is replying to my text and how unappreciative i am... 

i was stunned.. so i told her i appreciate her time and being a friend but i am merely asking an honest question she doesnt have to make me responsible of her feelings... 

and she started to continue to blast angrily at me... 

i often had that wtf just happened feeling.... 

[basil67]

If a friend continues to blast you angrily, they have just handed you the perfect excuse to block them.   

[preraph]

Wtm, sometimes I think it's just the texting that people can't hear the context in what would otherwise be your voice and sometimes take it negatively.that's why it's such a crappy way to communicate.

[preraph]

You know, if people are starting to feel some kind of way, then they color your texts with what they are sensitive about or upset about.  It's a sign of a problem, but not necessarily directly related and kind of coming from their end too.

[NomiMalone]

I have a friend who literally always interrupts. I can tell he does it mostly cos he’s excited to show support and not aware of the etiquette to wait for his turn to talk. I started doing this thing (and it might not work for your situation) where I’d let him interrupt and say whatever he needed to say, then I’d slowly start telling my story (or whatever I needed to tell him) again... from the very beginning. If he interrupted again, I’d start again the second time lol. I can tell he got the hint and things got a bit better. However it still got to a point where I started dreading our chats, and started to only text him when I needed to tell him something. 

Then one day I rang him to tell him that I think his Messenger had been hacked, cos I got a weird message from him asking me to open a link to a video about some secret. Poor guy, he was really worried, of course and started to cut me off when I was explaining to him what the message said. When he cut me off, I started the explanation from the beginning again.
From then on, he literally never interrupted me again and now we have great conversations 😊

Edited April 30, 2020 by NomiMalone

[wtm78]

20 hours ago, NomiMalone said:

I have a friend who literally always interrupts. I can tell he does it mostly cos he’s excited to show support and not aware of the etiquette to wait for his turn to talk. I started doing this thing (and it might not work for your situation) where I’d let him interrupt and say whatever he needed to say, then I’d slowly start telling my story (or whatever I needed to tell him) again... from the very beginning. If he interrupted again, I’d start again the second time lol. I can tell he got the hint and things got a bit better. However it still got to a point where I started dreading our chats, and started to only text him when I needed to tell him something. 

Then one day I rang him to tell him that I think his Messenger had been hacked, cos I got a weird message from him asking me to open a link to a video about some secret. Poor guy, he was really worried, of course and started to cut me off when I was explaining to him what the message said. When he cut me off, I started the explanation from the beginning again.
From then on, he literally never interrupted me again and now we have great conversations 😊

That was awesome 👍

I'm not sure if I can repeat this.. I get really irritated if I have to repeat myself. And they will keep interrupting anyway.

Sometimes it feels like a game of see who has more grit..

Edited May 1, 2020 by wtm78

[NomiMalone]

Yeah it’s hard with interrupters. They just need to realise they’re committing a conversational faux pas. There’s really no nice way of telling them outright, they need to realise it themselves. People interrupt mainly because they’re too excited to wait their turn to speak, not out of any real malice. There’s an elderly guy at my office who interrupts so much that I literally can’t get a word in. He does it because he’s half deaf! Now I just smile and nod lol 

[wtm78]

Haha... good way of dealing when you are good to stop seeing the person again... 

i agree they are too excited.. and it would take self awareness... unfortunately not everyone has that... :-(

 

6 hours ago, NomiMalone said:

Yeah it’s hard with interrupters. They just need to realise they’re committing a conversational faux pas. There’s really no nice way of telling them outright, they need to realise it themselves. People interrupt mainly because they’re too excited to wait their turn to speak, not out of any real malice. There’s an elderly guy at my office who interrupts so much that I literally can’t get a word in. He does it because he’s half deaf! Now I just smile and nod lol 

 

[mrs rubble]

My husband does this a lot, I’ll be telling him something about my day and how someone had acted badly, he’ll jump in with a rant about how to handle it, I let him finish his rant then explain how I did handle it. 9 times out of 10 he feels silly for butting in. So now if he starts interrupting me I ask if he’d like to hear the rest of the story first. Seems to work.