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Boyfriend had been keeping secrets the entire relationship.


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Hey everyone, thanks for taking time to read and give advice. 

When I first met my boyfriend (currently my ex because I broke up with him) we were transparent about who we were seeing at the time. I took the risk of sleeping with him while we were in the talking stage and he ended up getting an STD and told me it was from the partner he initially shared he was dating at the time we met. My issue with that was he had told me they weren't really even communicating anymore so i honestly believed I was his only sexual partner. We decided to continue talking and worked on solely building a relationship with just us and decided to cut everyone else off, we did this for 4 months before committing to one another. However, yesterday he finally confessed that the person he told me he got it from was a lie and that it was someone else he had slept with instead (which makes no sense why he didn't just say that in the first place). Nonetheless i was upset that he lied this entire time because we were trying to build trust and a relationship and it was really built on falsity.

Additionally, we had broken up 2 weeks ago (which lasted 2 days but i expected it was gonna last forever) and i sexted an ex who lives states away, which he found out about because I came clean. I just also found yesterday that he reached out to his ex- jump off and sexted her after he found out that I had did the same. My issue with that is, I did my bad deed when we had broken up albeit a few hours after the breakup... he did his bad deed after the 2 day breakup when we got back together. I also had asked him multiple times if he communicated with anyone from his past and he lied all this time saying he doesn't, that everyone from his past was blocked and often got upset that I still didn't trust him after the debacle in the past. 

I am emotionally devastated because I feel like I trusted him and he kept a lie for 4 months and was also willing to risk my health again and also with COVID-19 by soliciting sex with his ex-jumpoff just a week ago. I am heartbroken. His family now knows of everything and they are also heartbroken. I broke up with him and am not communicating with him but i needed to vent. 

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it appears to me like you are both playing mind games with each other.  All the sexting and STD's.  i cant tell what you want.  Did this guy share an STD with you as well?? 
I never cease to be surprised at the crap women are willing to tolerate from these boys.

 

Hope your venting helped

Edited by lifeoflies
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What kind of advice are you looking for?

You two are not good for each other. You have broken up so move on.

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1 hour ago, Mystery4u said:

What kind of advice are you looking for?

You two are not good for each other. You have broken up so move on.

Thank you for your response! 

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4 hours ago, lifeoflies said:

it appears to me like you are both playing mind games with each other.  All the sexting and STD's.  i cant tell what you want.  Did this guy share an STD with you as well?? 
I never cease to be surprised at the crap women are willing to tolerate from these boys.

 

Hope your venting helped

Well I believed my interaction with my ex was okay simply because I was no longer in a relationship, his interaction was done after we reconciled. I luckily did not have an STD, and his sexual interaction when he got the STD was when we were not together... I took a lot of months and time before I agreed to commit to him because of my past relationships. 

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I think you should take your health seriously by practicing "safe sex." That seems to be the most important lesson to learn from this experience.

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4 hours ago, KatH92 said:

Well I believed my interaction with my ex was okay simply because I was no longer in a relationship,

however, you doing that didn't take into account his immaturity, vindictiveness and need to get back at you for contacting the ex.

did you stay in touch with the ex? Usually, when you open a door like that, it doesn't shut all the way.

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