My boyfriend stole from me !

[Kaykay7512]

I can’t believe this but my boyfriend stole $1500 from me . I’m so shocked because he’s such a good guy towards me he cooks cleans and cares for me so well . The worst part is how he stole it . He went into my car where he knew I had to keep a large amount of money to take back to the bank , and because of the virus they are not allowing people to go inside so I had to come back home with the money . The next morning I woke up and notice my window was down a tad . When I looked inside all my stuff inside my car was thrown around . I immediately called him and told him someone broke into my car . He came down to the parking lot as if he was concerned . He watched me cry and believe someone robbed me . At first I didn’t think he did it but then I seen him buy groceries with cash and he NEVER carries cash ! I didn’t wanna accuse him especially after he came down and asked me did I wanna call the police . So I told him there was a camera in my car from my old YouTube videos . He believed me and I could tell he was getting nervous . 2 days went by and today before I left out he puts my money on the bed and admits to stealing it ! He claims he was going to flip the money and come out with 2 times more and give it to me this weekend . I just can’t believe he did this and I’m not sure what to do . I want to leave but our lease isn’t up until July . I haven’t been home yet since I left shortly after he admitted it to me . I’m just not sure what to do , I need advice .

[LivingWaterPlease]

If someone I was dating stole from me I'd have to break up with him. I would tell him, however, that I'd suspected he'd done it. Because if he realizes someone he steals from may suspect he did it, it may keep him from stealing from someone else at a later date.  Also, I wouldn't want him to regret telling me. 

You may not have noticed red flags that would alert you he's a dishonest person, but to do something this egregious I would think red flags existed that you haven't noticed were there.

 

 

 

[gamon]

You need to leave. There is absolutely no other choice. If you have to wait it out until the lease is over then play it cool until then, don't show your hand.

There's no future with this guy and you know it.

[poppyfields]

This should be a deal breaker, no question. 

He owned up to taking it and making full restitution but only "after" you told him about the camera in your car.  And the reason he gave you is an absolute joke, it's laughable. 

What he did was a criminal act nevermind disrespectful to you as his girlfriend, unconscionable really.

How you can stand to even look at him after this is beyond my realm of comprehension, tell him to leave otherwise you will call the police and press charges. 

Let him cry in his own beer, guy is a thief and a sociopath. 

And he WILL do it again, next time he will cover his tracks better and make sure no cameras around. 

Aim higher. 

Edited April 23, 2020 by poppyfields

[elaine567]

Many women will put up with bfs who steal for a lot of different reasons, some understandable some not, but this guy stole from YOU and that is totally unacceptable.

[Ruby Slippers]

This guy is a stone cold loser. I'd leave ASAP and never look back.

[preraph]

He's a dirtbag, and you should STILL call the police on him!

[Kaykay7512]

3 hours ago, poppyfields said:

This should be a deal breaker, no question. 

He owned up to taking it and making full restitution but only "after" you told him about the camera in your car.  And the reason he gave you is an absolute joke, it's laughable. 

What he did was a criminal act nevermind disrespectful to you as his girlfriend, unconscionable really.

How you can stand to even look at him after this is beyond my realm of comprehension, tell him to leave otherwise you will call the police and press charges. 

Let him cry in his own beer, guy is a thief and a sociopath. 

And he WILL do it again, next time he will cover his tracks better and make sure no cameras around. 

Aim higher. 

Your absolutely right , thank you I’m so devastated he did this to me 

[preraph]

Call the police on him and get everything of his out of the house and if he has a key, change the locks. 

[d0nnivain]

There is no coming back from this.  It has to be over.  If you don't throw him completely out of your life forever, you will lose more then $1500 by the time you wise up.  

Going forward invest in a small house safe & never keep $$ in your car.    

[The Outlaw]

Ditch him. He'll only do it again. 

[SincereOnlineGuy]

22 hours ago, Kaykay7512 said:

I can’t believe this but my boyfriend stole $1500 from me . I’m so shocked because he’s such a good guy towards me he cooks cleans and cares for me so well . The worst part is how he stole it . He went into my car where he knew I had to keep a large amount of money to take back to the bank , and because of the virus they are not allowing people to go inside so I had to come back home with the money . The next morning I woke up and notice my window was down a tad . When I looked inside all my stuff inside my car was thrown around . I immediately called him and told him someone broke into my car . He came down to the parking lot as if he was concerned . He watched me cry and believe someone robbed me . At first I didn’t think he did it but then I seen him buy groceries with cash and he NEVER carries cash ! I didn’t wanna accuse him especially after he came down and asked me did I wanna call the police . So I told him there was a camera in my car from my old YouTube videos . He believed me and I could tell he was getting nervous . 2 days went by and today before I left out he puts my money on the bed and admits to stealing it ! He claims he was going to flip the money and come out with 2 times more and give it to me this weekend . I just can’t believe he did this and I’m not sure what to do . I want to leave but our lease isn’t up until July . I haven’t been home yet since I left shortly after he admitted it to me . I’m just not sure what to do , I need advice .

Break up immediately.

(as people should do in cases where their spouse was physically violent toward them)  (clarity:  I fully understand this was stealing cash, but your answer is black and white, and you're trying to think with your heart... or other, uh... organs)

 

And no one has to keep a large amount of money in their car )

 

 

[Malin889]

Ugh, what a scumbag. Aside from the fact that stealing is awful and you need to break up with him, was he making it look like a robbery with throwing around the stuff in your car? Imagine if he lied to the police if you did call them? Also, what does "flip the money and come out with 2 times more" mean??? That just SOUNDS shady. I get what "flipping a house" is. Is flipping the money gambling? Or what is it and how was he going to do this exactly?? Ugh what a shady jerk. 

Sorry, I'm just really mad for you. Aside from the groceries he bought, did you get the rest of the money back? 

[Kaykay7512]

Yes , I got all my money back . And yes same idea flipping money is like doubling your money kinda the same concept with flipping a house . Shady , yes . He keeps apologizing and saying he had no bad intent he just wanted to flip the money so we would have extra after we paid rent . He’s never hurt me like this before but I can’t stay . I’m very hurt and angry and just over all shocked . 

[Malin889]

10 minutes ago, Kaykay7512 said:

Yes , I got all my money back . And yes same idea flipping money is like doubling your money kinda the same concept with flipping a house . Shady , yes . He keeps apologizing and saying he had no bad intent he just wanted to flip the money so we would have extra after we paid rent . He’s never hurt me like this before but I can’t stay . I’m very hurt and angry and just over all shocked . 

Well, if he didn't have any bad intent, then he should have let you in on the "flipping" plan before he stole the money! I wonder if he had enough money for his share of the rent! 

[Kaykay7512]

It’s so weird he never leaves me out of things , he pays 400 and I pay 200 of the rent and he pays utilities . He never even ask me for money , maybe change but no more than $20 so this is so crazy . I just have so many thoughts . I feel like he took it because he really needed it but that still doesn’t justify it , rather you were giving the money back or not 

[LivingWaterPlease]

I'm sorry Kaykay. This can't be easy for you. 

Now that you know he steals you have to realize it's possible he's stealing from others, too. You are fortunate to have found out about this before you married and had children with him.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Unfortunately Stealing is much more common than most people think... There are many people who get by in life by just hitting a decent lick here or there and using it to make ends meet.

Leaving your money unattended in your vehicle in the first place is just a bad idea, never ever do this.

As per your relationship, yeah, this is over, if he is stealing from you, he has no concern for your well-being which means he doesn't love you, which means he is using you. Sorry.

[S2B]

Since he treated you poorly have him move now. If he won’t tell him you’re calling the police to press charges.

if you need to find a way to make ends meet find a new room mate. 
 

it’s risky having him in your home for even one more day.

[Ellener]

11 hours ago, Kaykay7512 said:

Yes , I got all my money back . And yes same idea flipping money is like doubling your money kinda the same concept with flipping a house . Shady , yes . He keeps apologizing and saying he had no bad intent he just wanted to flip the money so we would have extra after we paid rent . He’s never hurt me like this before but I can’t stay . I’m very hurt and angry and just over all shocked . 

If by 'flip' you mean claim on insurance or something I actually think this is one of those times a lot of people will do desperate and out-of-character things.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

[Kaykay7512]

I know that’s what people are telling me , he is out of work because of the virus , and I feel as if he was embarrassed to come to me and say he didn’t have the rent money so he tried to double it so he wouldn’t have to ask his girlfriend . I think it’s an ego thing but you still went behind my back and betrayed my trust . I just don’t know how to take this . 

[Malin889]

12 hours ago, Kaykay7512 said:

It’s so weird he never leaves me out of things , he pays 400 and I pay 200 of the rent and he pays utilities . He never even ask me for money , maybe change but no more than $20 so this is so crazy . I just have so many thoughts . I feel like he took it because he really needed it but that still doesn’t justify it , rather you were giving the money back or not 

Oh my goodness, is your rent only $600? I'm on the east coast, and I don't think you could find rent like that where I live. That's awesome! That's really strange that he left you out of this situation, I can't even imagine what he was thinking, this whole situation just sounds crazy. I wonder if you didn't mention the "camera in your car from the you tube videos", would he have confessed that he took the money? It sounds like he did really need it, did something change lately? Has he not been working?

[Kaykay7512]

16 minutes ago, Malin889 said:

Oh my goodness, is your rent only $600? I'm on the east coast, and I don't think you could find rent like that where I live. That's awesome! That's really strange that he left you out of this situation, I can't even imagine what he was thinking, this whole situation just sounds crazy. I wonder if you didn't mention the "camera in your car from the you tube videos", would he have confessed that he took the money? It sounds like he did really need it, did something change lately? Has he not been working?

I’m from Ohio , yes rents pretty cheap here . And he’s been laid off because of the virus . But he has savings , I’m just not sure why this happen . I don’t know what to do moving forward . I live with him and love him . This is just so unlike him . He’s been begging me to come home . I’ve been staying with my dad . I’m just a wreck . 

[normal person]

4 hours ago, Kaykay7512 said:

so he tried to double it so he wouldn’t have to ask his girlfriend . 

Then he's not very smart. How exactly was he going to "double" it before you noticed?  That's ludicrous. If he could snap his fingers and just earn 100% on money somehow, why isn't everyone doing it? Either whatever he's planning to do isn't reliable (like going to the casino and betting it all on black), or isn't legal. Either he thinks you're naive enough to believe he can double it, and/or he's naive enough to think he actually can. Either way, someone who can't be trusted to save a 6 month emergency fund can't be particularly savvy with his finances to start. Time to break up with this guy. What's he going to steal when his bills are due next month? 

[notbroken]

The guy is a crook.  If he didn't steal from you he would steal from others.  You've seen his character.  Believe it.  He's a crook.   Tough times happen but he should have asked you about the money.   There are a few things that are 'one and done' and this is one of them in my book.    I'm sorry, but he has to go.  You could never trust him ever again.