max3732 Posted April 25, 2020 Share Posted April 25, 2020 I'm going to a virtual speed dating event where you get 7 minutes and am a bit nervous and unsure about what to do. I have a list of questions to use as ice breakers and also to fall back on if I get nervous that are listed below. After doing a couple regular speed dating events I have some experience, but the issue usually is I'll go through a bunch of women who don't check of my the boxes I'm looking for and then maybe get to 1 that will be what I'm looking for. Basically I'm going to ask her one of these questions and then see how the conversation flows. Anything wrong with questions like these? o Unusual hobbies? o Shows did you watch growing up and now? o Favorite book when you were younger and now o What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you o Watch on youtube? o Favorite ice cream flavor/favorite dessert o Favorite Disney princess? o Most looking forward to after quarantine? o Have you learned anything about yourself during the quarantine? o Guilty pleasure? o Food you’ve eaten too much of? o What’s Expensive that you think it worth it? What do you like where you live? Favorite thing about your job? · Are you an animal lover? · Are You More Of A Morning Person Or A Night Person? · Childhood dream job · Something your passionate about Aside from that it's in the evening, but I'm also doing it from home so should I wear a long sleeve button down shirt or something more casual? I also haven't used a webcam or video chat in 10+ years so technically I'm a bit unsure. I was just going to do it from my desk in my bedroom with a chair and some closed windows in the background. Anything wrong with that? Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted April 25, 2020 Share Posted April 25, 2020 Your questions all seem fine, is this something like Zoom chat group, I was on a Zoom event the other day- not dating thankfully- (teachers discussing how to carry out lessons remotely)! Anyway I found I was not especially interested in what was being said particularly as the talk dragged on, but what was interesting was observing the people with cameras on, you could sense who looked comfortable, who looked awkward when giving a question and so on, I imagine in this type of event body language even from behind a computer screen is key, so get yourself looking smart, comfortable and relaxed. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted April 26, 2020 Author Share Posted April 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Foxhall said: Your questions all seem fine, is this something like Zoom chat group, I was on a Zoom event the other day- not dating thankfully- (teachers discussing how to carry out lessons remotely)! Anyway I found I was not especially interested in what was being said particularly as the talk dragged on, but what was interesting was observing the people with cameras on, you could sense who looked comfortable, who looked awkward when giving a question and so on, I imagine in this type of event body language even from behind a computer screen is key, so get yourself looking smart, comfortable and relaxed. Good luck. It doesn't use Zoom, but is the same idea where you use your webcam. Like I said this is my 1st time doing a video chat in many years. According to the website you have an individual chat with each woman and then when the time is up you get into a chat with the next one. So you're not in a big group setting. Since I'm sitting in my room I should be more comfortable than when I've driven to these events and have to deal with moving around. I wanted to have some questions ready to go and then go with the flow so I'm not interviewing the woman. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 Your questions are good. But just one comment regarding unusual hobbies: Make sure you know how to continue a conversation if she mentions a hobby you have no interest in or don't understand. I say this because I have hobbies which many can't relate to. I can judge the conversational skills of people based on how they respond - because for those who have poor conversation skills, my hobbies are conversation stoppers. Or they turn the conversation back to themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 Further to unusual hobbies, some of the following are good responses if her answer floors you: That's unusual! How did you get into it? Is it difficult to do? How did you learn? Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted April 26, 2020 Author Share Posted April 26, 2020 15 hours ago, basil67 said: Further to unusual hobbies, some of the following are good responses if her answer floors you: That's unusual! How did you get into it? Is it difficult to do? How did you learn? Thanks, that's really good advice! Any other questions you'd add or take out? The event is tonight and I'm about ready to print it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 Virtual speed dating sounds fun. Just wondering where you found this? Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 26, 2020 Share Posted April 26, 2020 (edited) Okay thank you for the link! Unfortunately, not in my city. I hope you don't mind if I reply here in case others find this useful. I guess my tips would be the same as any other date. Your questions are ok. Act comfortable/confident. Make sure the lighting and everything is right for your webcam. Maybe do a practice run. Don't overdress. Err on the side of casual. HTH!!! Edited April 26, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted April 26, 2020 Author Share Posted April 26, 2020 29 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Okay thank you for the link! Unfortunately, not in my city. I hope you don't mind if I reply here in case others find this useful. I guess my tips would be the same as any other date. Your questions are ok. Act comfortable/confident. Make sure the lighting and everything is right for your webcam. Maybe do a practice run. Don't overdress. Err on the side of casual. HTH!!! Don't mind you replying here at all. I just didn't know if there were forum rules about promoting companies or whatever so I didn't want to post the link here. I tried a high def webcam that I bought years ago I looked horrible! You can see every detail on my face like you're using a microscope. I then went to my laptop built in camera and I look much better! I have it at eye level and am wearing one of my favorite shirts. What's worked well for me is to remember I'm not trying to make her like me. I'm just having a conversation with someone and trying to see if she's a good fit for me. If she think I'm the worst person in the world who cares? I just want to be my genuine self.I just printed out the questions and have them up behind the laptop since my mind tends to go blank when I first see someone in speed dating. Not quite sure how it will transition from one speed dater to the next or what, but this is a lot more convenient than driving 45 minutes to an event. Hopefully it will go well! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted April 27, 2020 Author Share Posted April 27, 2020 To follow up I think it went pretty well. Out of the 5 women I talked to I really liked one of them and was on the fence about another so I indicated interest in both. I ended up being a mutual match with the one I was on the fence about. I think I got too nervous with the one I really liked. So I'm going to follow up with the one I matched with and would definitely do it again. The initial part where everyone is in a small window and you're waiting for people to join is a little awkward, but the actual 1 on 1 conversation was good. Everyone was dressed very casual. To me this was much better than normal OLD since I actually got to talk to someone and could pretty much tell the ones that wouldn't be a match. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 28, 2020 Share Posted April 28, 2020 9 hours ago, max3732 said: To follow up I think it went pretty well. Out of the 5 women I talked to I really liked one of them and was on the fence about another so I indicated interest in both. I ended up being a mutual match with the one I was on the fence about. I think I got too nervous with the one I really liked. So I'm going to follow up with the one I matched with and would definitely do it again. The initial part where everyone is in a small window and you're waiting for people to join is a little awkward, but the actual 1 on 1 conversation was good. Everyone was dressed very casual. To me this was much better than normal OLD since I actually got to talk to someone and could pretty much tell the ones that wouldn't be a match. Yay!!! Im glad it went well. I think it sounds like a great idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Author max3732 Posted April 28, 2020 Author Share Posted April 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: Yay!!! Im glad it went well. I think it sounds like a great idea. Apparently I did something right since I got 1 match out of the 2 I was interested in. I'm also doing another one next week. Despite my best efforts to remain relaxed as soon as I did get pretty nervous and tripped up on my words on the match I liked who didn't like me back. Other than that I am proud of myself 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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