breakup cause we cant see eachother cause of quarantine?

[emily123]

Hey everyone. I don't know if I'm the only one going through something like this. So me and my ex boyfriend dated for almost a year and he just broke up with me out of the blue over facetime since we are unable to see eachother (he didnt say this was the reason though). I'm 21 and he is 22. We both went to the same university away from home then moved back to our hometown when quarantine started to live with our families. We only live a 15min drive from eachother but have been unable to see eachother due to quarantine. We were obviously used to seeing eachother a few times a week to not at all for over a month. We would have been approaching a year of long distance next year when he is working at our hometown and I would be back at university (45min-1 hour drive) from eachother. We said we would try out this long distance for next year, but we obviously didn't think our journey of "long distance" would start so soon. We had been obviously facetiming pretty much every day and would sometimes play games over facetime. His reason for breaking up with me was "he needed to be alone and was going through a lot of personal/family issues at the moment and didn't see us working next year". I know this could be other issues and sounding like if we didnt work now that we wouldnt work through next year. We had little to no real issues throughout our relationship and he told me loved me about 2 months ago and said it meant a lot to him since he waited a bit longer to tell me. But I want to know if anyone else's relationship has been affected this way and that maybe it is the stress and uncertainty of this situation??

[IndigoNight]

The current situation has been extremely stressful on people. Between health concerns, boredom and financial issues, there are a lot of reasons for the stress and uncertainty.

If you and your ex were able to FaceTime, and stay in contact over the past month, it would be petty and immature to end your relationship over. it's not like either of you is flaking on the other, or not putting in the effort. Circumstances don't allow for you, and millions of others, to spend time with a loved one who doesn't live with you. It's an unfortunate reality that millions of loved ones deal with daily. 

Perhaps he told you the truth, and just had to much going on right now. Has he given you reasons not to take him at his word?

Until states begin to reopen, there isn't much you can do. Try to avoid sending a bunch of texts. Maybe once you can see each other in person you will be able to figure out what's going on.

Sorry you're going through this during an already stressful time.

[emily123]

9 hours ago, IndigoNight said:

The current situation has been extremely stressful on people. Between health concerns, boredom and financial issues, there are a lot of reasons for the stress and uncertainty.

If you and your ex were able to FaceTime, and stay in contact over the past month, it would be petty and immature to end your relationship over. it's not like either of you is flaking on the other, or not putting in the effort. Circumstances don't allow for you, and millions of others, to spend time with a loved one who doesn't live with you. It's an unfortunate reality that millions of loved ones deal with daily. 

Perhaps he told you the truth, and just had to much going on right now. Has he given you reasons not to take him at his word?

Until states begin to reopen, there isn't much you can do. Try to avoid sending a bunch of texts. Maybe once you can see each other in person you will be able to figure out what's going on.

Sorry you're going through this during an already stressful time.

Thank you for your input  I agree with you saying this is petty and immature. He had blocked me off social media after which I found strange, considering I didn't do anything wrong/mean towards him. I thought maybe he was just trying to move on and forget about me in his life. I have not tried to reach out to him at all yet (its been 2 weeks).

I just found out that him and his recent ex (before me and him started dating) are now following eachother on instagram. I know this doesn't necessarily mean anything, but this could be why he's not telling me the truth. I'm going to try and reach out and ask him for an explanation.

 

Thanks for all your help!

[d0nnivain]

There has to be more to it.  I assume you have been talking, facetiming, zooming whatever.  that is how the whole world is staying connected.  Even next year 1 hour is NOT long distance; for many people it's the commute to work.  Granted it's more then walking across campus but c'mon.  

If your relationship wasn't strong enough to survive a few weeks apart, he doesn't have the foundation for you to rely on him long term.  Sorry.  

[stillafool]

12 hours ago, emily123 said:

His reason for breaking up with me was "he needed to be alone and was going through a lot of personal/family issues at the moment and didn't see us working next year". I know this could be other issues and sounding like if we didnt work now that we wouldnt work through next year.

I read this and translates to:  I found another girl I want to explore.

[BaileyB]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I read this and translates to:  I found another girl I want to explore.

I tend to agree, but its odd... He broke up with OP because he can’t see her, but it’s not like he can “see” any other women either. He can’t exactly go online and meet other women. There must be someone nearby who has caught his eye and is much more convenient during this period of lockdown. 

[Redhead14]

I think the virus situation has given lots of people a lot more time to think and sort some things out.  The "long distance" thing wasn't really working for him anyway.  You two couldn't see each other or anyone else because of the virus.  So blaming the virus was just convenient.  On top of that you say, the Ex is now in the picture.  I suspect she's been in the picture even before all this.  I just happens that they aren't really concerned about social media "exposure" anymore because contact otherwise is so limited.

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, BaileyB said:

There must be someone nearby who has caught his eye and is much more convenient during this period of lockdown. 

They are 15 minutes apart while both home from college.  When she returns to campus next fall & he's home they will still be less then 1 hour apart.  

There is something more to this then drive time, possibly this EX.  

Edited April 27, 2020 by d0nnivain

[elaine567]

14 hours ago, emily123 said:

didn't see us working next year

^^^ this.
He doesn't see a future with you.
He is a very young man, he doesn't want to be tied down with you in a LDR for a year.
I guess this month of lockdown put that into perspective for him.

[Fletch Lives]

I don't know why you didn't see each other for a month. Quarantine is for strangers not lovers.

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, Fletch Lives said:

I don't know why you didn't see each other for a month. Quarantine is for strangers not lovers.

Because they both live at home with their parents.  For them to be together risks both families.  

[hippychick3]

It sounds like the ex reached out to him during quarantine (or vice versa), and he rekindled something with her. 

[IndigoNight]

On 4/27/2020 at 7:33 AM, emily123 said:

Thank you for your input  I agree with you saying this is petty and immature. He had blocked me off social media after which I found strange, considering I didn't do anything wrong/mean towards him. I thought maybe he was just trying to move on and forget about me in his life. I have not tried to reach out to him at all yet (its been 2 weeks).

I just found out that him and his recent ex (before me and him started dating) are now following eachother on instagram. I know this doesn't necessarily mean anything, but this could be why he's not telling me the truth. I'm going to try and reach out and ask him for an explanation.

 

Thanks for all your help!

I wouldn't reach out to him. He doesn't owe you an explanation, and it's unlikely that he will give you one that makes you feel any better about things.

Him ending things with you, and reconnecting with his ex on IG isn't likely to be a coincidence. If it were me in your situation, I wouldn't invest any more time in him. I wouldn't block him, or "do" anything. I would simply move on with my life. If he reappears in a week, month, or at anytime in the future, I would be guarded, but not unfriendly. Mostly, I'd be curious to see if he explained why he treated you the way he has. Whatever you do, don't just pick up where you left off. There are things that need to be addressed first.