Are women attracted to a more violent type in this sense?

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

33 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Well I had a gf before a few years ago, who was very goodlooking and she would get hit on a lot by guys in bars.  But I would never attack the guys for it.  She insinuated that she wanted me to but I told her that I did it for her own protection and that if I attacked a guy who hit on you, that his friends, could use gang up on on you and use you as a hostage to get me to stop.  So I told her it was for her own protection that I didn't attack a group of guys, but do you think she was turned off by that as seemed to possibly be?

Financially and Socially, most women who are dating you, care as much about you. as they do about all the other guys around them. That must be a lot, right? No. These women at these bars, they are only interested in what they can immediately get from you... When two men fight over a woman, her social status skyrockets. When a woman gets a free drink, thats money in her pocket and booze in her system... She is immediately gaining from these things and that immediate gain is all that she is after.

People that go to the bar, are not there to find somebody to build a life together with, they are there because they are interested in being instantly gratified in some way, whether that be a boost for their social status, some free alcohol, whatever the case may be, the fact remains that, at its root, the bar is a source of instant gratification.

Now, think about it like this: You, as a man, are supposed to be able to provide for every aspect of your woman's desire... So if your GIRLFRIEND is going to the bar, that is really not a good look... It says she is getting something from the bar that you are not providing her with.

If your girlfriend or wife is at the bar, with or without you, there is a clear need being unmet there... Some would say on that basis alone, this thing is already over or you two just aren't a great match and I kind of have to agree.

[simpycurious]

There's a big difference between looking "for a fight" and not taking any "cra....."  There are some slang terms for both but are both probably best left unspoken. Having a little 
"moxy" about yourself does not mean you are violent or overly aggressive.  

[ironpony]

45 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Yes, she may have been.  

How were things after that happened? 

Okay I think.  She seemed like she might have been turned off in the moment, but I was always able to turn her back on in other ways, unless of course, it kept bothering her though, without me knowing possibly.

[ironpony]

17 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

Bizarre reasoning...

I don't know if she was turned off or not, but most women would probably look sideways at that ....

Most women lose respect for guys that are passive and laydowns....I don't really care what they say...You see it all the time and it doesn't necessarily mean it has to come to blows...

The whole bar scene is a poor example though...Having worked in clubs, I can tell you that some of these women would almost use it as a "test" to see if they flirted or just presented themselves in such a way to receive unwanted attention, would their guy just stand there like an idiot or will he step up.....then you often get fists and wrestling...Alcohol just intensifies it...

The message to take from this(even on a small scale) is not that women necessarily like a boisterous drunk that likes to get thrown out of bars or get his teeth knocked in, but they want to know that as a man, you are the type that could be counted on, to have confidence and fearlessness...It doesn't even necessarily have to have anything to do with physical strength or ability to kick another guys ass...You hear women all the time talking about the need to be with a "protector"...that's the kind of behavior that they look for...They know it's not to be taken literally..

IME, the women I know with passive guys are usually super brassy themselves, so the dynamic there can work as the "traditional" roles just get reversed...But the majority of women don't want to be in that position with a guy, so they expect that the guy have some seeds.....so to speak...

TFY

Well if my gf was being hit on I would come politely take her away, but I don't have to throw punches at the guys and start a fight, like these guys who are popular with women do, over that, do I?

Edited April 27, 2020 by ironpony

[Miss Spider]

6 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Well if my gf was being hit on I would come politely take her away, but I don't have to throw punches at the guys and start a fight over that, do I?

Might depend also on what she is socialized to view 'alpha' as. Like some women might view a man who can physically protect them as more masculine/desirable and aggression is a sign of that. Whereas others(myself included) might see someone who can handle a situation more diplomatically and cool-headed as more attractive and 'alpha'. Or it might be an ego thing like you're getting THAT possessive over her. But when it happens it not so fun

Edited April 27, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[ironpony]

And another thing is, women like a guy who is financially stable right, so if I get nailed with an aggravated assault conviction that limits my ability to provide more in a relationship, so wouldn't a woman not want that to happen to her man, as well?

[Miss Spider]

Not if you're on the block slangin. lol I don't think women who like bad boys prioritized judiciousness.

Edited April 27, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[thefooloftheyear]

7 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Well if my gf was being hit on I would come politely take her away, but I don't have to throw punches at the guys and start a fight, like these guys who are popular with women do, over that, do I?

Well....here's the thing...

In that situation, if she had any respect for you, she would have handled it herself and knocked the guys dick in immediately(it's a figure of speech, btw)....You wouldn't have needed to do anything...

I don't think you know all the details of what went down for it to lead to blows....The best advice is stay away from clubs or go only with your buddies...if you don't feel confident enough in your situation with your girlfriends, then it can just wind up putting you in a position you don't feel comfortable in..

TFY

[carhill]

3 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

No it does not.  Looks are subjective.  They are not indicative of any character traits  

Yep, masculine trending to violent doesn't necessarily mean physically good looking and/or universally attractive. IME it's more an aura. There's a sense that evil might rule that guy even if he's not obviously being violent. A example of an exception would be men like Ted Bundy, who were generally considered to be attractive as well as evil. The appearance was a cloak for the reality of their evil. An effective cover. I also saw a fair amount of it when young with men who beat their wives. There was a charm to them but a sense of a hard edge and volatility. They could flip like a light switch. At the time I thought, whoa, why would anyone be attracted to or stay with someone like that? In time I came to understand the role of FOO and what people perceived as love and responded to emotionally varied widely. Attraction and bonding is an emotional thing, not a math problem solved with logic, for most anyway.

[MsJayne]

Hanging around guys who are immature and violent is a symptom of a girl's low self-esteem, nothing to do with looks or a desire to hang out with a numpty.  Most females who go for guys who are like this do so with the belief that they can fix the problem, it's some weird maternal mechanism that kicks in around puberty and makes women want to nurture and fix Naughty Boy.  Possibly it also has to do with the girl wanting to earn the affection of Naughty Boy in order to repair something that's missing with her paternal figure, in the sense that it's not about the actual violence, it's about the emotional unavailability of the male. Some women grow out of this, and some don't.  

[poppyfields]

I wish I knew how to upload the scene from the movie "Goodfellas" where Karen was aggressively hit on at her country club by her neighbor, and called her bf, Henry Hill, crying.

Oh man, Henry got so pissed off, he drove to guy's house, guy was in driveway with his friends, and literally beat the living cr*p out of him after telling Karen to wait inside.

She watched the whole thing and the look on her face!  It appeared like she fell in love with Henry right then and there!

Never underestimate how women feel when their man goes to great lengths to protect her. 

Edited April 27, 2020 by poppyfields

[ironpony]

Oh okay, I guess in my situation if my gf is hit on, it's not like she needs the bf to beat a guy up to protect her.  It's just a hit on, all the gf has to do is say she has a bf and move on.  I mean it's not like the guy is a serial killer or a rapist, etc.  So why does she have to be protected to the point of risking an aggravated assault conviction?

[preraph]

My feeling is most girls who go for violent guys who get in fights a lot are themselves violent.  My opinion is if they are cheering that on, they too are probably rough as a cob, as they say in the south. 

[ironpony]

Oh okay.  Actually in my experiences when I see the guys starting fights and getting thrown out, their gfs don't really cheer them on, they are just kind of shocked and taken aback, by the whole thing it seems from how they looked and reacted.

[preraph]

No. I said in my original post up there that no women I know liked that.  But the ones who do, those women are also likely violent.  

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, preraph said:

No. I said in my original post up there that no women I know liked that.  But the ones who do, those women are also likely violent.  

You could be right.  Karen from Goodfellas, which was the true story of Henry Hill, an American mobster associated with the Lucchese crime family in NYC, threatened Henry's mistress - told her to leave her man alone and find her own man or she'd be sorry!!

She was pretty hot headed herself!! 

Great film!!!  One of my favs! 

[ironpony]

Well I understand that a lot of women have the fantasy of wanting to fix a bad boy, but why is that hot, or where that that turn on come from?

Do a lot of guys have that fantasy as well, where the want to fix a bad girl, or is there an equivalent fantasy for guys?

[simpycurious]

^^ Agreed that Goodfellas is an awesome movie.  The thing about alpha males especially  one's that play or played violent sports is that many women never see past that side of them.  They don't seem to see that some of these men are very intelligent, philosophical, articulate and passionate (not all but many).  I guess the moral of the story is that sometimes you have to "read past the first chapter" to see what the "book" is really about.............

[Fair]

No. No. NO.

[Fair]

On 4/27/2020 at 3:38 PM, thefooloftheyear said:

Well....here's the thing...

In that situation, if she had any respect for you, she would have handled it herself and knocked the guys dick in immediately(it's a figure of speech, btw)....You wouldn't have needed to do anything...

I don't think you know all the details of what went down for it to lead to blows....The best advice is stay away from clubs or go only with your buddies...if you don't feel confident enough in your situation with your girlfriends, then it can just wind up putting you in a position you don't feel comfortable in..

TFY

I would want my boyfriend to have a spine and NOT let me try to handle this myself.  Good way to get a woman to lose respect for you. Women don't want jellyfish. That said, there's a big difference between being generally aggressive and always looking for trouble and being 'a man.'  

 

[thefooloftheyear]

58 minutes ago, Fair said:

I would want my boyfriend to have a spine and NOT let me try to handle this myself.  Good way to get a woman to lose respect for you. Women don't want jellyfish. That said, there's a big difference between being generally aggressive and always looking for trouble and being 'a man.'  

 

You obviously don't know me too well....and you obviously have no idea what strong and self assured women want in a man...

I'd never waste a single minute  around a woman that needed me around 24/7 to be her friggin White Knight in case some random jack ass  needs his eyes put back in his head......Sure. if there was real crap to deal with, that's another story...but strong women have no issue dealing with guys that give them unwanted attention..In fact a strong woman would actually lose respect if she saw that he didn't feel confident enough in her ability to deal with petty shyt like an unwelcomed pass..This is obvious crap..

.If you are that weakling, Damsel in Distress  type, or just can't live without that type of validation, fine.,...there are plenty of putzes out there willing to follow you around like a puppy dog and bark when a guy throws a look at you...I've even actually known women that deliberately put themselves in those situations or even outright lie about it, to see what the reaction of the bf will be...It's pathetic behavior that I wouldn't stand for, no matter who did it...But hey, like I said, there are plenty of those guys out there if you are so inclined..

Go get em..

TFY

Edited May 30, 2020 by thefooloftheyear

[DKT3]

Almost all women will say no,  however,  that's obviously not true. There is a whole subculture of women who go after men in prison. They actively join site and attempt to attract them. Something about aggressive violent behavior is primitive attraction for many women.  People refuse to admit it,  specifically women who believe that they have intellectually outgrown reproduction as our primary role as humans,  we are all attracted to the opposite sex,  in part, based on subconscious clues that they will make a good partner in reproduction.  What's better then an aggressive male to insure that line if succession?

Edited May 30, 2020 by DKT3

[Miss Spider]

8 hours ago, Fair said:

I would want my boyfriend to have a spine and NOT let me try to handle this myself.  Good way to get a woman to lose respect for you. Women don't want jellyfish. That said, there's a big difference between being generally aggressive and always looking for trouble and being 'a man.'  

 

Agreed. I had one bf that was passive when I was hit on by another guy and it was really unattractive. It's not that I couldn't handle them. Honestly, I could care less when that happens and I just say I have a bf. It just made him look beta af to sit there and let someone disrespect him in front of me like he wasn't even there lmao 

 

It goes both ways. Had this drunk girl come up and  keep dancing on my bf repeatedly when he gently pushed her off. I pushed her and she fell straight to the floor xD

Edited May 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Miss Spider]

8 hours ago, DKT3 said:

  What's better then an aggressive male to insure that line if succession?

An intelligent male that can reason his way out of a situation rather than always having to rely on violence?

 

 

Edited May 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

^^^I think there's a time and place for everything CD.  I think that you can be both with a good balance as a male.