chillii Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 (edited) Sounds like my first ever attempt at date site world after being married 20yrs . Talk about confusing , so many women didn't know names of half of them Dump one 15mins later talking to a new one plus two or 3 others at the same time, night after night Nothing serious l wasn't even looking at the time just trying it out for the first time and chatting for company really, l wrote that on my profile thing . mind you if at that time l was actually seriously looking maybe one out of them all . if that , would've been truly worth even talking to the rest wouldn't even rated in that regard . Which is what your doing , your just talking to anyones and not being seriously selective for a serious relationship sooooo , your wasting your time with a whole lot of just anyones, you'll soon get sick of it and wise up . Edited May 11, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 6 hours ago, thecrucible said: @Gr8fuln2020 - we are talking about meeting so hopefully this will happen - he works for government so is trying to work out a way to do it. I blew off some others but left a few so there’s about four left I’m communicating with. Because I can’t gauge where he’s at, I won’t tell him I have a focus on him yet. I have already told him that he’s my favourite from the site (EHarmony). He doesn’t actually know that I use Bumble too. thank you for the advice 🙂 Yeah, don't tell him that you are mostly focused on him. He is very likely also communicating with other ladies. Nothing is real until you meet and get a few dates in. Face to face conversation. I have had a couple of women in the past let me know that they were communicating/dating others. Some people think such honesty is needed, but I feel that most probably already know that is happening, so no need to announce it unless you are directly asked. Then you should definitely reciprocate and let the chips fall as they may. Be careful that you don't fall into an illusion that once you make a verbal agreement to be exclusive that that is what is happening. Especially early in the dating. Until you feel very comfortable, don't burn any bridges with other guys, but certainly let them know that you are trying to work out a relationship with the current person. That's a way off, but just a heads up. Have you tried googling him/them? Find out more? Social media? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted May 11, 2020 Author Share Posted May 11, 2020 @Gr8fuln2020 - thank you for a guy's perspective. He's never asked me about anything like talking to other people so I'm just not going to mention it unless he does. I know he's not been on site for over a week because I logged in today to cancel a date. I've closed off a few guys who were asking to meet or have virtual dates and got nice responses saying to get back in touch in the future if I'm still available. I've kept chats going with others because they haven't asked to meet although I don't talk to them all the time; and have unmatched the ones who've faded for over a week. I actually hadn't checked him out until you mentioned it but he's practically ungoogleable. He is on social media but I haven't clicked on the profile in case he sees I've looked him up. I'll try and keep things in perspective but we seem to be getting on well. He said he's going to send me a postcard if we can't see each other soon as he knows I like postcards. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 7 hours ago, thecrucible said: @Gr8fuln2020 - thank you for a guy's perspective. He's never asked me about anything like talking to other people so I'm just not going to mention it unless he does. I know he's not been on site for over a week because I logged in today to cancel a date. I've closed off a few guys who were asking to meet or have virtual dates and got nice responses saying to get back in touch in the future if I'm still available. I've kept chats going with others because they haven't asked to meet although I don't talk to them all the time; and have unmatched the ones who've faded for over a week. I actually hadn't checked him out until you mentioned it but he's practically ungoogleable. He is on social media but I haven't clicked on the profile in case he sees I've looked him up. I'll try and keep things in perspective but we seem to be getting on well. He said he's going to send me a postcard if we can't see each other soon as he knows I like postcards. Just make certain to keep to a manageable number. 1-3. It was good of you to tell the others that you are not 'currently' interested. If he is on social media and his account is on the default, typically, you can still find out and search without him being alerted to you. If you are not logging into the same social media account to search, he won't know. Check linkedIn, twitter, etc. Do you know his full name? Postcard? Where is he now? Is this a long distance communication? International? Just make sure you look at the stamp date and type. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted May 12, 2020 Author Share Posted May 12, 2020 @Gr8fuln2020 - sometimes when I search people on Facebook, they come up in my friend suggestions so I assume they will see me there and put two and two together. I know he doesn’t do LinkedIn and I can’t find him on Twitter or anything else. We actually live in the same city but he wants to send me a postcard because he knows I like them. Last night we spoke for hours and conversation got quite romantic. We are going to meet up in the park at the weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 5 hours ago, thecrucible said: @Gr8fuln2020 - sometimes when I search people on Facebook, they come up in my friend suggestions so I assume they will see me there and put two and two together. I know he doesn’t do LinkedIn and I can’t find him on Twitter or anything else. We actually live in the same city but he wants to send me a postcard because he knows I like them. Last night we spoke for hours and conversation got quite romantic. We are going to meet up in the park at the weekend. Interesting. I always look people up on FB and more often than not, find them, and never get a friend suggestion. Hope the meet is as expected. People can be very different in person. Go someplace public (with adequate social distancing) and during the day, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted May 12, 2020 Author Share Posted May 12, 2020 @Gr8fuln2020 - I just had a look cause I may as well. Only discovered that some of his dating photos were quite old however I’ve seen him on camera and he’s sent recent pics so I do know what he actually looks like now. He has seen recent pics of me. So will just see how it goes and if we still get on in person. That’s the plan. We’re meeting during the day in a park. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Mmm...I wouldn't be talking about favorites or anything at this stage...You don't even know yet if he is. You might meet him and he turned off by something. Honestly I'd just be keeping things light for now. As for in matching definite "no"s, I think that's the only fair thing to do. Let those guys focus elsewhere. It's a weird world right now but I feel like OLD etiquette is probably the same either way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thecrucible Posted May 14, 2020 Author Share Posted May 14, 2020 @CaliforniaGirl - yeah I do have that thought in the back of my mind. I guess he might be thinking the same thing. I’m hoping the fact we had another five hour video chat last night will translate irl. Wish me luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 On 5/14/2020 at 10:07 AM, thecrucible said: @CaliforniaGirl - yeah I do have that thought in the back of my mind. I guess he might be thinking the same thing. I’m hoping the fact we had another five hour video chat last night will translate irl. Wish me luck. I'm not sure what to do myself, I looked at my match account today, but I'm not ready to go back out there yet...hope this is a good meeting for you! Maybe it'll motivate me... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 minute ago, Ellener said: I'm not sure what to do myself, I looked at my match account today, but I'm not ready to go back out there yet...hope this is a good meeting for you! Maybe it'll motivate me... Did you see anyone interesting? Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Did you see anyone interesting? I'm more anxious today ( not sure whether going online actually caused some of that! I was very anxious when I first started doing OLD which is why I came to LS ) I just can't get a feel for it all. I usually am shown more profiles I can tell I probably won't gel with than people who I really like on first sight anyway. Logically I know the fallout from the pandemic will go on for some time, I don't want to put my whole life on hold. Think I'll take a masked selfie- not sure how that will help but maybe it will help me have some sense of humour about it...I enjoyed the dating once I lightened up about it. 😷 Link to post Share on other sites
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