Is Love Ever Blind?

[simpycurious]

I do believe that "love" can happen when you least expect it. Love in and of itself is mysterious with few absolutes.  So yeah, it's possible maybe not probably but possible. 

[poppyfields]

5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

For me, I guess it is and isn't. Anecdotal example, I was infatuated with this on this guy whom I had never met or seen on another forum. So I began talking with him and we became good friends. Went on for like 2 years...Then one day I told him and found out he liked me too. We ended up exchanging pics and ....I wasn't attracted to him  I feel so shallow for saying this, but I just wasn't. Crush was dead. But you know what? It coincided with me finding out he liked me and he started acting really different/clingy, so I don't know if that's what actually turned me off.

cookie, I'm wondering how you handled that, sounds awkward. 

After seeing his pic after two years, did you tell him you weren't attracted or did you just ghost him?

What was his response?  If you ghosted, that may be why he suddenly became clingy.

I always like to see at least one pic before we start getting into it, and I will send one or two of mine. 

Edit:  It's funny, The Outlaw said he fell hard for a woman on this forum, now you both got my brain spinning!! Lol.

 

Edited April 29, 2020 by poppyfields

[Cookiesandough]

Yea it was awkward and felt really bad man. I waited and said a 'it's me not you' type thing, which isn't untrue. I told him I'd like to stay friends, but he didn't like that much, and he cut me off.  What can you do

Edited April 29, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[preraph]

Cookies, this is a perfect illustration to all the guys on LS who just don't understand why women are hesitant or "don't give them a chance" sight unseen.  Because it gets too traumatic on both sides if you have to back out.  It's brutal.  So women like to take no chances and wade in a little more carefully.

[poppyfields]

39 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea it was awkward and felt really bad man. I waited and said a 'it's me not you' type thing, which isn't untrue. I told him I'd like to stay friends, but he didn't like that much, and he cut me off.  What can you do

Wow two years is a long time not knowing what the other looks like, even as just a friend. 

It's kind of odd he had never asked you earlier for one but perhaps he thought that might come across as shallow. 

I don't think it is, not just one so you have at least some idea who you're dealing with.

Poor guy, cookie breaks another heart.

Just teasing. 

Edited April 29, 2020 by poppyfields

[simpycurious]

29 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea it was awkward and felt really bad man. I waited and said a 'it's me not you' type thing, which isn't untrue. I told him I'd like to stay friends, but he didn't like that much, and he cut me off.  What can you do

You cannot do anything aside from moving ahead.  There's an old saying that says  "there's no easy way to break somebody's heart."  I think it's true more often than not.

[Foxhall]

there was a dating site here that was popular a few years back particularly with older singletons, whereby profiles and pictures were sent to the organiser who in turn set two people up on a date,the organiser would put two people together give out their phone numbers (but not their photos) and then a date would be arranged,

It had some success I believe with people who were "anxious" for marriage, 

quite an old fashioned approach now in terms of online dating.

 

[chillii]

3 hours ago, preraph said:

Cookies, this is a perfect illustration to all the guys on LS who just don't understand why women are hesitant or "don't give them a chance" sight unseen.  Because it gets too traumatic on both sides if you have to back out.  It's brutal.  So women like to take no chances and wade in a little more carefully.

Not saying situations don't get very tricy for women , l could just imagine , but it does go both ways , it's not easy backing out as a guy either we get all the same stuff. But l don't understand where the sight unseen thing is at though,  not a hope on Gods planet l'd be involved sight unseen, doubt other guys would either. And we still get all the same treatment back from her if we don't like what we see , ooooo that one can get very nasty.

[Interstellar]

Based on what I observed love is blind when you overlook certain things about a person you like. Men are especially guilty of this such as: overlooking low interest level by rationalizing their behavior, inconsistencies in the relationship such as cheating partners, disrespect and guys tend to rationalize this because their interest level on the girl is so high that it blinds them and are unable to see.

Now on the internet, I don’t believe that a person can fall in love with someone if you haven’t seen nor met them in person. There has to be physical attraction, body languages, etc.... Maybe they like the way you write, the sound of your voice ie. long distance relationships etc...but that’s not love. They just have high interest level in your writing or your voice, hah.

Edited April 30, 2020 by Interstellar

[MsJayne]

 

17 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

For me, I guess it is and isn't. Anecdotal example, I was infatuated with this on this guy whom I had never met or seen on another forum. So I began talking with him and we became good friends. Went on for like 2 years...Then one day I told him and found out he liked me too. We ended up exchanging pics and ....I wasn't attracted to him  I feel so shallow for saying this, but I just wasn't. Crush was dead. But you know what? It coincided with me finding out he liked me and he started acting really different/clingy, so I don't know if that's what actually turned me off.

This so reminded me of something a guy acquaintance once told me. He had become totally infatuated with a woman he spoke to regularly on the 'phone during the course of work, and after about three months of these 'phone calls she one day announced that she was delivering some stock to his shop in person herself instead of using the usual courier. She'd come up with some lame excuse, passing that way anyway, whatever, she obviously had the attraction-to-the-unseen vibe going on too.  He was really excited and I remember him going for a haircut, etc, the day before she was coming. I must mention that he's a total sexist who measures a woman's worth by what she looks like. How much did I cack myself laughing when I bumped into him later that afternoon, a sorry puddle of disappointment because the chick with the sexy, raspy voice and the great sense of humour was, Quote; "Built like a Texas barn and reminded me of Spike the bulldog" (of Tom & Jerry fame).  

[preraph]

In the early 1970s, when I was managing a record store, a couple of radio stations would call and ask what was selling on a routine basis. So of course this one sounded great on the phone, but even at that age I wasn't stupid enough to I think that meant he was going to look great in person. Anyway he started really flirting and he came in the store one day. What a mess. I mean it was just beyond bad. I'm pretty sure I just set a quick high and then ran into the back and locked myself in my office. I was very cowardly. 

[chillii]

2 hours ago, MsJayne said:

 

This so reminded me of something a guy acquaintance once told me. He had become totally infatuated with a woman he spoke to regularly on the 'phone during the course of work, and after about three months of these 'phone calls she one day announced that she was delivering some stock to his shop in person herself instead of using the usual courier. She'd come up with some lame excuse, passing that way anyway, whatever, she obviously had the attraction-to-the-unseen vibe going on too.  He was really excited and I remember him going for a haircut, etc, the day before she was coming. I must mention that he's a total sexist who measures a woman's worth by what she looks like. How much did I cack myself laughing when I bumped into him later that afternoon, a sorry puddle of disappointment because the chick with the sexy, raspy voice and the great sense of humour was, Quote; "Built like a Texas barn and reminded me of Spike the bulldog" (of Tom & Jerry fame).  

 

Haaaaa, now that one was a very nasty lesson l learnt way back when l was 17. Since then, name means nothing, voice means nothing , talk means nothing, nice means nothing, NONE of it means anything , until you actually see her,  and man that can be a very, VERY, rude awakening.

Just as far as anything romantic or getting any ideas goes l'm talking about , get the lot outa your head. Meet her or him first or at the very least see some "real" pictures.lt's nothing to do with worth , he or she is still the same person you knew , romantically though is just a different story as we all know.

 

 

 

Edited April 30, 2020 by chillii

[Cornholio12]

To sum it up perfectly, it’s confusing more often than not. 

[Content]

On 4/29/2020 at 9:39 PM, Interstellar said:

Based on what I observed love is blind when you overlook certain things about a person you like. Men are especially guilty of this such as: overlooking low interest level by rationalizing their behavior, inconsistencies in the relationship such as cheating partners, disrespect and guys tend to rationalize this because their interest level on the girl is so high that it blinds them and are unable to see.

Now on the internet, I don’t believe that a person can fall in love with someone if you haven’t seen nor met them in person. There has to be physical attraction, body languages, etc.... Maybe they like the way you write, the sound of your voice ie. long distance relationships etc...but that’s not love. They just have high interest level in your writing or your voice, hah.

But personality chemistry and other things can create physical attraction.. attraction isn’t just about looks and beauty..

There been plenty of women at it’s glance I didn’t notice but as i got to know them they became more and more attractive.

It works that way for most people.. 

Edited May 1, 2020 by Content

[poppyfields]

1 hour ago, Content said:

But personality chemistry and other things can create physical attraction.. attraction isn’t just about looks and beauty..

There been plenty of women at it’s glance I didn’t notice but as i got to know them they became more and more attractive.

It works that way for most people.. 

It's just that "somethin somethin" about the person that can't be explained

And to sum it up for me, when looking at a pic I can tell within a very short time, within seconds, if he's my style of guy.

He does NOT have to be the best looking, in fact in NYC when I lived and worked there, I turned down many so called "hot" guys, models, because there just wasn't that "somethin somethin" - that worked for me!

Hard to explain.  Maybe it's just an energy, who knows. 

Edited May 1, 2020 by poppyfields

[poppyfields]

@Interstellar it makes sense you don't believe it, it's never happened to you!

But believe me, it happens and it is real.  May not be real in the same way it's real in person, but it's real for the person(s) experiencing it.

I know, I've experienced it.  It's a mental energy of sorts versus physical energy which you can only feel in person and often has little to do with their actual looks, although being physically attracted is important but it's subjective.

 

Edited May 1, 2020 by poppyfields

[The Outlaw]

Not trying to be cold, but TBH, somehow I don't think what I said matters that much. I got a little carried away and said more than I needed to say. 

[poppyfields]

On 4/28/2020 at 11:19 AM, The Outlaw said:

I'm not trying to sell myself short, but yes I have. More than once. Even just recently. I'll leave that alone. But sometimes I just feel like I'm a sucker because it's just SO easy. TOO easy. I know it may seem awful to some but it happens. Once it hits me. It hits me. Like a Mac truck 😋 

@Outlaw, so what you said here^ isn't true or more than you wanted to say? 😕

I'm confused we're all anonymous and it's nothing to feel ashamed of

It's happened to the best of us.. 

Edited May 1, 2020 by poppyfields

[The Outlaw]

10 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

@Outlaw, so what you said here^ isn't true or more than you wanted to say? 😕

I'm confused we're all anonymous and it's nothing to feel ashamed of

It's happened to the best of us.. 

It's true. I meant everything I said, but I sincerely doubt it's mutual. It was just kind of a crush and that was it. It isn't 'love' but they're just strong feelings I happen to have. 

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, The Outlaw said:

It's true. I meant everything I said, but I sincerely doubt it's mutual. It was just kind of a crush and that was it. It isn't 'love' but they're just strong feelings I happen to have. 

I know you're elusive Outlaw, so maybe won't answer but why do you sincerely doubt it's not mutual?

Have you told the girl in question about your feelings? 

Elusiveness can only take you so far, eventually you need to start being real with people, ya know? 

 

Edited May 1, 2020 by poppyfields

[The Outlaw]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I know you're elusive Outlaw, so maybe won't answer but why do you sincerely doubt it's not mutual?

And I am for a reason. And I don't know. Not for certain. 

 

3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Have you told the girl in question about your feelings? 

Nah. Not even sure I will. 

[MeadowFlower]

31 minutes ago, The Outlaw said:

Nah. Not even sure I will. 

Not any of my business at all. But.. I'd be interested to know if a guy had a crush on me.

[The Outlaw]

Just now, MeadowFlower said:

Not any of my business at all. But.. I'd be interested to know if a guy had a crush on me.

She already knows but you've got a crush on here too, right? Have you told him? You should if you think he's feeling it too. 

[MeadowFlower]

1 minute ago, The Outlaw said:

She already knows but you've got a crush on here too, right? Have you told him? You should if you think he's feeling it too. 

Sheesh Outlaw! You said that outloud. Lol

[poppyfields]

8 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said:

Sheesh Outlaw! You said that outloud. Lol

Hey guys, mind filling us in?  Lol

Do we have a real live love match on loveshack? 

What you two gonna do now that it's all out in the open!  💌