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Did I ruin it all?


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Lovestruck8992

We’ve been together for 4 months now

i recently told her I loved her... and she freaked out. She’s afraid of commitment because of her failed marriage and because she also had a little girl.

what we had was amazing.. we were open, comfortable, we deeply cared about each other and she’s even said that herself.

but now it’s messed up.. it’s weird and awkward.. it’s her birthday today and she hasn’t said a word to me all day...

did I just f*** everything up?

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She just isn't going to get in deep after 4 months, especially since she has a child to think about.  Put it into perspective.  Think about where her bar is for love.  It's her love for that child.  Nothing will ever come close to it.  And she's not taking any chances there.  

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Lovestruck8992
8 minutes ago, preraph said:

She just isn't going to get in deep after 4 months, especially since she has a child to think about.  Put it into perspective.  Think about where her bar is for love.  It's her love for that child.  Nothing will ever come close to it.  And she's not taking any chances there.  

So do I just give up then and accept it as a loss?

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If things are going okay before you said it and I would just give it a little time and try to talk to her about it but not expect anything from her.

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Blind-Sided

OK... I know it hurts... and you want to continue to talk about it...  but you won't get different answers posting this 3 times.

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Lovestruck8992
1 hour ago, preraph said:

If things are going okay before you said it and I would just give it a little time and try to talk to her about it but not expect anything from her.

We did talk about it and she assured me that I didn’t f*** anything up it just scares the hell out of her. And made her confused.

but today for example... haven’t heard a word from her.. no good morning text, no calls, nothing at all...

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Just leave her alone today and then tomorrow contact her and make plans to do something over the weekend if there's anything you two can do during the quarantine. Even if it's only play a game online.

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Scarlett.O'hara

If expressing your love is so distressing to her, she shouldn't be in a relationship with you. 

In a healthy relationship this is exactly what should happen as your feelings start to grow for each other.  Sometimes one person falls more quickly than the other, which can be a bit awkward, but if a couple wants to be together, they work through it.  Her meltdown on the other hand was not a typical reaction.  That isn't your fault. 

She is either too damaged and fragile to be involved with someone yet, or she doesn't feel the same way about you at all.  Whatever the reason, you should be very wary about investing too much in this relationship.  

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