Glx Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 (edited) Hello everyone! I have been dating this guy for less than two months. There is one thing that is really bothering me: he has lots of friends on Facebook, most of them are girls. And he adds random unknown girls on Instagram as well. I told him that it is bothering me and it is a no-go for me. He then explained: "it doesn't mean anything, for me it's like looking on girls on the street. You look at guys too, it is human and normal. I add them but I text and talk only with you, so what is the problem?" He even sent me screenshots to prove that he doesn't talk to other girls. He then added, that these girls are mostly his Facebook "suggestions", friends of friends or just girls from his hometown (that the visits only two times a year). And that it means nothing to him. What should I do about it? I get very sad when I see that everyday there are some new added girls...☹️ For him it is no problem if I add guys, but he wouldn't want me to text with them as well. Edited April 30, 2020 by Glx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 You don't like it, many women wouldn't like it. You could tell him to stop, you could spend many hours fighting about it for months, even.years, but he won''t stop. It is early days, do yourself a favour and get rid of him,.. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 2 months and you're already getting on at him and other girls? It's a bit too early in the relationship to be acting like that. It sounds like you are both very young. I understand though that it's disrespectful of him to be doing that. I wouldn't like it either. Add lots of random guys so he can understand how you feel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 (edited) You can talk with him all you like but face the facts. The two of you have only been dating for two months. Have the two of you had the exclusive talk. Many girls on here say a relationship is not until the talk is had. if this continues after you talk with him then you need to decide if he is someone you want to be in a relationship with. Edited May 2, 2020 by usa1ah Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 (edited) I know a guy who has been in a relationship with an extremely controlling woman for a decade now. He bends to her will and publicly comes off as a doormat--but he has created a separate IG she doesn't know about in order to follow wannabe IG models. When confronted, they go underground, apparently. This kind of behavior doesn't change. Edited May 2, 2020 by healing light Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 On 4/30/2020 at 2:17 PM, Glx said: What should I do about it? I get very sad when I see that everyday there are some new added girls...☹️ For him it is no problem if I add guys, but he wouldn't want me to text with them as well. You should do nothing. He's not doing anything wrong. He likes looking at pretty girls. His enjoys collecting friends on social media. It gives him an ego boost. If he's blatantly asking them on dates or making sexual comments, that would be a problem but you didn't say he's doing this. You are upset because to you him doing this invalidates your romance. You think it's a sign you are not enough for him or he's not committed enough to you. I suppose it could be but he was engaging in this behavior long before you met him. It really has very little to do with you . If it bugs you that much dump him. You have only been together for 60 days & half of that has been apart so it's no big loss. What you can't do is expect him to change for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 What you should do is NOT have an exclusivity arrangement with him and you should also date other guys since he's still fishing for women on social media. He's nowhere near ready for an exclusive relationship. So just don't get serious with him because he's not up to it. He can have as many women on his social media as he wants and so can you and you can both date other people since this isn't happening. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2020 Share Posted May 6, 2020 Wow the min some guy tells me that, he's kicked to the curb. Girl it's only a few months, better throw this one back. You can do waaaaaay better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 On 4/30/2020 at 2:17 PM, Glx said: What should I do about it? One of the following two: Deal with it and be quiet, content and grateful he's your boyfriend or dump him if it bothers you that much. He's already told you that he's not going to stop doing what he's doing---and you're both still in the "honeymoon" phase of new relationships; on the cusp of both of you dismissing your "on their best behavior" representatives at the 3-5 month mark when the "real you/real him" come to the fore. The real him adds random chicks from social media and doesn't care how you feel about it. That is what is. What/who you'd like for him to be isn't even entering into any of this equation. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 7, 2020 Share Posted May 7, 2020 (edited) On 4/30/2020 at 2:17 PM, Glx said: He then added, that these girls are mostly his Facebook "suggestions", friends of friends or just girls from his hometown (that the visits only two times a year). And that it means nothing to him. Are any of these friends, hometown girls homely looking or are they all cute? If he says he isn't going to stop adding them and you don't like it are you going to break up? Edited May 7, 2020 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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