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Distrust grows - missing engagement ring


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LynneVicious
8 hours ago, lil_missy said:

Yeh I’ve got my watch and I don’t live with him anymore I’m with my parents with my son. 

I don’t think his family would tell me even if he was doing drugs under their nose. They would tell him to stop for sure but his mom is too nice and just gives into him with anything. They would know if I knew I’d take my son away from them for sure and they all love him too much to let that happen. 

We don’t have a strict court order on anything, we’ve only being seperated 3 months and was working toward getting back together actually 

it’s a good question about the methadone, I wonder if that is enough to see him as impaired in the eyes of the law in terms of custody. I don’t want to play dirty though, he has been a good father from everything that I saw and I wouldn’t be taking my son away from him unless I thought he was in danger. 

Op, this is counterproductive thinking. If he’s high all the time, he cannot be a good father at the same time. He may be functioning most of the time, but you don’t know. You mentioned you’ve seen him nod off. That’s dangerous. Or if he’s driving with your son, it can be deadly. 
 

i know this isn’t the reason why you came to LS. But as the story has unfolded, it’s clear to all of us, with no agenda other than provide advice, that he has a drug problem and it’s dangerous for your son. 
 

What many addicts are great at, is gaslighting to make you feel crazy. Something triggers in their brain that enables them to be highly deceitful and manipulative. Of course he’s going to deny it. 
 

The point is, is that it’s just not you that’s at stake here. Your sons livelihood is at stake. You don’t have to be vindictive and mean with him, but from the evidence you have, it’s reasonable to want to protect your son from him. I hope you do. 

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lil_missy
5 hours ago, LynneVicious said:

Op, this is counterproductive thinking. If he’s high all the time, he cannot be a good father at the same time. He may be functioning most of the time, but you don’t know. You mentioned you’ve seen him nod off. That’s dangerous. Or if he’s driving with your son, it can be deadly. 
 

i know this isn’t the reason why you came to LS. But as the story has unfolded, it’s clear to all of us, with no agenda other than provide advice, that he has a drug problem and it’s dangerous for your son. 
 

What many addicts are great at, is gaslighting to make you feel crazy. Something triggers in their brain that enables them to be highly deceitful and manipulative. Of course he’s going to deny it. 
 

The point is, is that it’s just not you that’s at stake here. Your sons livelihood is at stake. You don’t have to be vindictive and mean with him, but from the evidence you have, it’s reasonable to want to protect your son from him. I hope you do. 

I know that you guys are trying to help me 

just let me clarify a few things - I’ve seen him nod off - this is only when he is sitting or lying in bed and watching tv. He doesn’t nod off while his doing stuff and up and about, or driving. We’ve gone on long trips where he has driven and it’s not an issue. 

Yes now I do strongly suspect he is using, but again besides the nodding off not from his behaviour but from the things going missing and money going missing. 

And another thing I mentioned yes it is easy to say get your kid from him, but I have NO proof ok? Did u read the part where I rang the police and they said there is NOTHING they can do, not even follow up the pawn shop with the ring! 

So while I appreciate the advice and I AM trying, there is not much I can do atm and your situations might have been diff if your spouse admitted to using or there was some concrete evidence. 

Im seperated from him now and my son is with me 90% of the time and we live our own lives without him. And the rest of the time he is with him and his family who I all know well.

There is nothing more to talk about, I’m gonna keep an eye open for anything suspicious. 

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Go back and re read all of your threads. 
I hadn’t realized I had responded to prior threads you created.

the info has been there all along. Do you earn money to support yourself?

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lil_missy
1 hour ago, S2B said:

Go back and re read all of your threads. 
I hadn’t realized I had responded to prior threads you created.

the info has been there all along. Do you earn money to support yourself?

Yeh we have had a lot of financial issues all along but I always BELIEVED him in everything he said, so yeh I was naive like that just thought it was an excess spending problem. 

Yes I do earn money and I can do alright without him 

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