The lockdown - Bad or good for kids/families?

[preraph]

I work here in the back of my home.  I'm seeing my neighbors to the left and out across the alley just outside playing with their kids all the time.  I think the ones to the left, both mom and dad are working at home, and both kids too young for school and at that age you can't work around them.  But they seem to be taking turns bringing the kids out to the play set and swinging with them and stuff.  

I'm thinking this might be really great for this generation of kids for the ones who don't lose a family member at least.  A lot of Dad time that wouldn't normally be possible and mom time too.  Kids rarely seem to play outdoors anymore, but this is kind of forcing that to happen, and I think it's going to be great for them.  It's something that's kind of lost, especially with city kids.  

 

I realize there's also a "too much" factor, but what do you all see going on around you and how do you think it might affect families and kids, good and bad?

[Woggle]

It amplifies the family dynamics that were already there. If the family was a healthy and close knit one they will be more so and if it was people who can't stand each other then it will tear them apart. Culturally this is a big amplifier.

[preraph]

Good point!

[Libby1]

In some cases it might improve their contact and relationships with parents, but the lack of ability to spend time with friends must really be taking its toll on a lot of kids.  When I think back to being, say, 7 to 10 years old...a lot of my happiest memories are of time spent playing with other kids.  Communicating with friends via computers would have been no substitute for games like hide and seek, tag, and the endless series of games we made up to entertain ourselves. 

I think the negatives of lockdown probably vastly outweigh the positives for children.  I mean sure, from parents' perspectives it might be primarily "this is great - I'm spending more time with my kids."  But while quality time with your parents is important when you're a kid, it needs to be balanced with opportunities to play with other kids without adults hovering, intervening and participating too much.

[chillii]

See a lot more parents out walking with their kids lately , heaps more than usual , which is great for parents and kids. And l think a lot of families could even become closer if they look at things the right ways , back to basics and simplicity , only with the gadgets these days,

My daughter and l are having beautiful times just hangin round doin our thing , we use to exist so well together round the house ,  just living, but it's been 2 or3yrs since she's stayed over so much , been really nice .

Edited May 2, 2020 by chillii

[basil67]

Miss 20yo commented yesterday that because of the lockdown she’s gotten much closer to us.   🥰

[chillii]

51 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Miss 20yo commented yesterday that because of the lockdown she’s gotten much closer to us.   🥰

Same here bas , haven't felt this calm closeness too her a few yrs now , she's usually so busy we're lucky to even catch up half the time , so nice to have it back for awhile,

Edited May 2, 2020 by chillii

[preraph]

7 hours ago, Libby1 said:

In some cases it might improve their contact and relationships with parents, but the lack of ability to spend time with friends must really be taking its toll on a lot of kids.  When I think back to being, say, 7 to 10 years old...a lot of my happiest memories are of time spent playing with other kids.  Communicating with friends via computers would have been no substitute for games like hide and seek, tag, and the endless series of games we made up to entertain ourselves. 

I think the negatives of lockdown probably vastly outweigh the positives for children.  I mean sure, from parents' perspectives it might be primarily "this is great - I'm spending more time with my kids."  But while quality time with your parents is important when you're a kid, it needs to be balanced with opportunities to play with other kids without adults hovering, intervening and participating too much.

Yeah, but these days, "time with friends" is networking on a game together, not even as much face to face.  When I was a kid, you had a telephone so you could talk to friends some, and now they can facetime, but yeah, it's different than being together.  

Edited May 2, 2020 by preraph

[preraph]

4 hours ago, chillii said:

See a lot more parents out walking with their kids lately , heaps more than usual , which is great for parents and kids. And l think a lot of families could even become closer if they look at things the right ways , back to basics and simplicity , only with the gadgets these days,

My daughter and l are having beautiful times just hangin round doin our thing , we use to exist so well together round the house ,  just living, but it's been 2 or3yrs since she's stayed over so much , been really nice .

Yes, all these walks are good for everyone and their dogs.  We have a creek running nearby with woods (and unfortunately poison oak) and people walk around that a lot now.  I'd love to see them down in the woods themselves, but alas, the poison oak is serious.

[preraph]

3 hours ago, basil67 said:

Miss 20yo commented yesterday that because of the lockdown she’s gotten much closer to us.   🥰

Awwwwww!!!

[preraph]

I honestly think it's possible this is going to be a bit of a different generation because of this, in a good way.  I don't like the homeschooling though, but it's necessary.  

[Ollie180]

Great for kids who have ‘good’ families to spend time with!! Unfortunately there’s always more than you realise who don’t have that behind closed doors!

If I’d of had to be ‘locked down’ with my mums boyfriend as a kid.. it would have been horrible if not dangerous!

Even as a teen in foster care.. nothing ever felt particularly like ‘home’ and I think for kids living that kinda life now it must just serve of another reminder of what they don’t have!

 

I think woggle is bang on, it exaggerates whatever’s there already - if relationships are good, they’ll get better! If they’re bad, well..

[Ollie180]

On 5/2/2020 at 5:41 PM, preraph said:

I honestly think it's possible this is going to be a bit of a different generation because of this, in a good way.  

I do agree with this though!! I think it’s definitely going to instill a bit of grit and hopefully an appreciation for our freedom!!

I certainly realise how much I took for granted!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I think it's probably horrific for a lot of kids right now, unfortunately :(.  These are of course not the ones you're gonna see outside playing.

[sothereiwas]

On 5/2/2020 at 9:41 AM, preraph said:

I don't like the homeschooling though, but it's necessary.  

What we're doing isn't really homeschooling, it's remote schooling. The kid is here with us, physically home alright, but it's nothing like the setup one of my nieces here closeby has who is actually home-schooled. The teacher drives the instruction and sets the curriculum, and monitors the progress. We act as eyes and hands for a few things that can't be done remotely. They even have a lunch delivery for those who want it, delivered on the bus routes. 

That last one I find really sort of sad. 

But honestly I'd be perfectly fine if 2 out of 3 weeks were like this all the time, or maybe rotate the kids in on shifts 1-2 days a week so they could have more personal teacher time while at the school, and do this remote thing the rest of the week/time. This toolset seems like a real potential force multiplier that could be used after the outbreak is under control. Some people use public school as publicly funded childcare, which is also sort of sad but that's the world we seem to live in. Not a thing to hash out in this thread I reckon. 

[preraph]

I'm seeing enough kids out during school hours to know remote schooling isn't going as planned!!  

[sothereiwas]

3 minutes ago, preraph said:

I'm seeing enough kids out during school hours to know remote schooling isn't going as planned!!  

Yeah, the teacher has made a few comments (about my chublet doing very well) and I see a lot of the local kids roaming around during the day when I go out for a little R&R and air. People are oddly irresponsible with things I would have imagined should be very high on their list of things to stay on top of I guess. It might be perception; I'm by no means out most of the time as I have to work, and I don't see them all out all the time, so perhaps it's just that many times one or more of them are taking a break/recess when I'm doing so as well. I can't say for certain. 

The teacher felt that this was working well enough but I suspect there's a limit to how much candid information she can share with me. 

[lana-banana]

There are children who are doing well, mostly children with very wealthy parents in safe homes. While I think it's possible for all kinds of children to thrive in this environment, in one way or another, it's not easy. As other posters have mentioned, domestic violence is spiking and many kids are unsafe.

It seems all my friends who are parents are at their wit's end. I don't know anybody who's having fun juggling their job and keeping kids occupied all day. They're also terrified of their kids falling behind in school, which seems like it'll be guaranteed for all but the absolute richest families who can afford expensive, immersive education. This is going to dramatically widen inequality, even between the top 10% and the 1%. And at the very bottom where kids don't have reliable internet or devices at home, well...

The kids who are 4 and younger seem to be faring best; the ones who are old enough to understand that something different is happening but don't really understand why (ages 5-12) seem to be having a very hard time. My friends who are parents of teens say they're doing relatively well. I guess the whole world crisis really complements a teen's natural sense of angst?

Edited May 3, 2020 by lana-banana

[preraph]

Kids need school. Because not all parents are good parents and not all parents have the capability of working and taking care of kids at the same time or affording child care. And not everybody plans accordingly. 

 

School fills a gap and create some continuity between children who are getting vastly different experiences at home with their families. It helps homogenize them, if you will, to prepare and socialize them adequately for when they are out in a work environment. After all, as an adult you have to deal with all kinds of people, not just the ones like your parents.

[sothereiwas]

3 hours ago, lana-banana said:

There are children who are doing well, mostly children with very wealthy parents in safe homes. While I think it's possible for all kinds of children to thrive in this environment, in one way or another, it's not easy. As other posters have mentioned, domestic violence is spiking and many kids are unsafe.

It seems all my friends who are parents are at their wit's end. I don't know anybody who's having fun juggling their job and keeping kids occupied all day.

I'm sort of enjoying having the little badger around myself. Why would people have kids and then not want to spend time with those kids? People seem to make some really odd choices. 

[lana-banana]

2 minutes ago, sothereiwas said:

I'm sort of enjoying having the little badger around myself. Why would people have kids and then not want to spend time with those kids? People seem to make some really odd choices. 

I don't think anybody objects to having their children around. It's more about the logistical challenges of managing full-time jobs while also trying to supervise AND educate AND entertain their children. For a lot of people that essentially means a second job's worth of work on top of their own demanding careers. Again, nobody's unhappy, it's just an incredible amount of extra work. 

[Woggle]

If this happened when I was a kid and I had to be on lockdown with my mom I would have taken my chances on the streets.

Edited May 3, 2020 by Woggle

[Artdeco]

I see my parent friends struggle as well. Most of them hv teenagers or pre-teens though. So they are more self-sufficient than a toddler would be, for instance. I don’t even know if daycares are open these days. But anyways – the lack of structure on a daily basis is really causing a problem for many of my friends, who are all working, and most of them no longer from home. So their kids do what they want all day long, and that’s not good. Actually they do nothing all day is what I’ve heard. 😬😬

[preraph]

Daycares are open for essential workers only.   Now more than ever they need uncrowded classrooms.  But you know, young kids, you can't control them.  They're going to pick their noses and put it under the desk no matter if they have a mask on or not and contaminate everything. Ugh.