Want closure

[Ekaj]

I know it’s over and everything but god damn I’m confused. 8 year relationship, engaged and obviously had our rocky moments at the end. We broke up 4 days ago and she just seems to be taking it very well.. I’m 90 percent sure she’s gone to a rebound but still Seems very fast. Especially when she tells you how much she loves you ect. I’m just so confused. 
 

I'm going no contact and getting rid of her on social media from now, but it’s certainly going to a rocky ride. Especially with this lockdown s***. 

[healing light]

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. As much as it sucks to hear, I believe closure is something we mentally have to find within ourselves. 4 days after a break up and she's onto someone new after an 8 year relationship? I would think 4 weeks or 4 months would be too soon, let alone 4 days. Doesn't sound like the type of person you're going to get a lot of answers from...

[Ekaj]

27 minutes ago, healing light said:

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. As much as it sucks to hear, I believe closure is something we mentally have to find within ourselves. 4 days after a break up and she's onto someone new after an 8 year relationship? I would think 4 weeks or 4 months would be too soon, let alone 4 days. Doesn't sound like the type of person you're going to get a lot of answers from...

I believe she must of emotionally been talking to him before. Maybe for 1 month or 2. But damn it’s hard to take. I suppose I’ll never know the answers, it’s just nice to vent. 

[Realitysux]

You have closure and you have the answers. 

[elaine567]

1 hour ago, Ekaj said:

I know it’s over and everything but god damn I’m confused. 8 year relationship, engaged and obviously had our rocky moments at the end. We broke up 4 days ago and she just seems to be taking it very well..

I am guessing she broke up with you is that correct?

[Ekaj]

9 hours ago, elaine567 said:

I am guessing she broke up with you is that correct?

Yes

[preraph]

The one who wanted the breakup, the dumper, is rarely ever that upset afterward and may move on quicker.  She understands why you're broken up, and I think you do too since you said how much you'd been fighting and you know what that was about.  It doesn't mean she was cheating.  It means she wasn't happy with you anymore.  Sorry.  Not every woman waits until they have a replacement.  Some don't even WANT a replacement for quite a while after a breakup.  It's possible, but no reason to assume so.  I bet she broke up with you on the merits of your relationship.  It's a long time to be together, time enough for it to have run its course after trying to fix anything that wasn't working, I guess.

[Marc878]

12 minutes ago, preraph said:

The one who wanted the breakup, the dumper, is rarely ever that upset afterward and may move on quicker.  She understands why you're broken up, and I think you do too since you said how much you'd been fighting and you know what that was about.  It doesn't mean she was cheating.  It means she wasn't happy with you anymore.  Sorry.  Not every woman waits until they have a replacement.  Some don't even WANT a replacement for quite a while after a breakup.  It's possible, but no reason to assume so.  I bet she broke up with you on the merits of your relationship.  It's a long time to be together, time enough for it to have run its course after trying to fix anything that wasn't working, I guess.

She was way ahead. Already processed moving on. So she was ready for the actual breakup.

The worst thing you can do is project. I loved her so she must still love me too. Nope.

The best thing you can do is complete zero contact. That means not cheating her social media, etc and blocking her on everything. Time will fix the rest.

[scooby-philly]

Never assume what the "other person" may or may not feel at any given moment. As someone else pointed out, typically the "dumper" moves on more quickly because, even if they were not cheating, or emotionally cheating, or see a "new person" quickly or have one lined up already, they have begun to "emotionally divest" from the relationship before they pull the trigger. Now, I, unlike others, will not berate you. We don't know the full picture of your relationship and what the "dump" looked and sounded like. Suffice to say that if she gave you opportunities to fix things and you did not, move on, because trying to win her back may back fire. And if she did not really tell you what was wrong and just proceeded to end the relationship/engagement, then you need to move on because that's a sign of emotional immaturity/problems. A healthy person in a healthy relationship can relay what they're feeling and the couple works on addressing and solving it TOGETHER. Either way OP, I'm sorry for your pain. NC only works if you go full on. The road ahead will not prove easy after 8 years with someone. But...time will heal. For, get ready for an emotional rollercoaster and find the support you need to get through the next few (4, 8, 12) months.