Thoughts on workplace only affairs

[BaileyB]

19 minutes ago, Savannah2 said:

I feel like he’s the type of guy that likes his ego stroked. 

Quite possibly.

How does this relate to you? What does it matter what type of guy he is or why he does what he does?

[Savannah2]

I don’t know why it matters to me.. I guess if I were to speculate it would be because I’ve always had a tendency in all my past relationships to put the focus on the other persons behavior instead of asking myself those questions. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with any man. I had a long term high school boyfriend who was controlling and abusive then got involved with another man who was narcissistic and I was very unhappy got divorced and then got sucked into this affair while going through divorce. So this is really only my third relationship with a man. I never dated a lot always jumped from one relationship to another 

[Amethyst68]

You never answered the questions about whether you are still as heavily involved with his wife and family? Are your stillstill best friends and do you still celebrate the holidays with them?

It really does take the deceit up a whole other level to be that linked to your MM. I don't know you can be that close to your AP and still call it a workplace affair. I think his wife would see it as a double betrayal.

[Belle23]

9 hours ago, Savannah2 said:

I don’t know why it matters to me.. I guess if I were to speculate it would be because I’ve always had a tendency in all my past relationships to put the focus on the other persons behavior instead of asking myself those questions. I’ve never had a healthy relationship with any man. I had a long term high school boyfriend who was controlling and abusive then got involved with another man who was narcissistic and I was very unhappy got divorced and then got sucked into this affair while going through divorce. So this is really only my third relationship with a man. I never dated a lot always jumped from one relationship to another 

You sound like me in some ways. During my self exploration during the lockdown, I feel that I discovered why I’ve chased men who never truly reciprocated how I felt about them. People say therapy helps with this, too, and that it will break the cycle of these kinds of relationships. 
 

Therapy has such a sigma, but I’ve been to therapy in the past for anxiety and it’s helped. I was too afraid of telling the therapist about my relationships because I was embarrassed, so I get it if you don’t want to go that route. There’s good websites out there with dating advice, like A New Mode, though. It may really help you! 

[Savannah2]

He told me today that he is interested in someone else we work with and he thinks she’s really hot. She seems into him as well. He’s probably already started something with her.