lovesfool Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 I am in a strange situation at the moment. Two months ago I got chatting to a guy on Tinder. He is a two hour drive away and never had the opportunity to meet because we were busy at the time. Then lockdown happened! Now we can only text, but have had a few video calls too. I think we're getting on really well, better than any guy I've been chatting to in a few years. I don't want this to slip away, but at the same time I'm not sure what I can do to keep dating alive. In my country we are not allowed to travel for non-essential activities. This will be the case for the next two months, minimum. After that, social distancing will still be required as will be the case everywhere in the world. Even if I got to see him in person in two months time, I wouldn't even be able to hold his hand, let alone kiss him! How is anyone supposed to date in this environment? Should we all be expected to put our dating lives on hold until there is a vaccine? How are you all managing this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Inflikted Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 1 hour ago, lovesfool said: How is anyone supposed to date in this environment? Should we all be expected to put our dating lives on hold until there is a vaccine? How are you all managing this situation? I think that's pretty much the case, yeah. Or, at the very least, that's probably the safest and most sensible thing to do, unfortunately. I'm sure there are/ will be people who "take the risk", and break quarantine and social distancing guidelines, but to that end, it really comes down to how willing you are to take the risk. The worst part is that the whole "vaccine in 1.5 years" is apparently a "best case scenario". It could take many years for a vaccine, and I've even seen it suggested that a vaccine may never be possible. So, I don't know when it will be "safe" to date normally again. It really sucks, as someone who was never able to date anyone, to begin with, to now be stuck in this pandemic alone and single, and to know that the pandemic practically guarantees I'm going to be alone for at least the next two years or so. For me, feels "too late", at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 1 hour ago, lovesfool said: Should we all be expected to put our dating lives on hold until there is a vaccine? My assumption is that testing kits will be more readily available, so you will be able to get each other tested in order to break social distancing risk-free. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 Back to arranged marriages! 😉 🤣😇💍 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 I don't want to say this is the case here, as I don't know....But I suspect that it can become an easy excuse to ghost/dump someone ... I'm certainly no dating expert,. but I would think that when it comes to this stuff, "where there's a will there's a way'...In fact, when I think about all the hoops you had to go through as a kid, trying to see your gf and sneak some sex, this lockdown is child's play....🤣 Good luck to you... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Love finds a way.... or perhaps attraction in this case. Unless there's martial law and roads blocked no biggie, go meet each other. Plenty of us are still out and about. When this started and the lockdowns first came in, I drove a couple hours to to the coast to help put in an oxygen system at a veterinary hospital. Limited operations, they were meeting owners outside, no humans in the facility except staff. Did the job, visited with some friends there over the weekend, cat and I drove home. Bonus was empty roads. No biggie. Heck I don't even have local plates on my vehicles anymore, coppers think I'm from another state. Saw a few, no interest. Bla, bla. Go date. Oh, yeah, hugged my best friend and his wife before leaving the beach. That's what friends do. We've seen a lot of sickness and death in our lives and cheated it a few times ourselves. This is nothing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 It comes down to what's important to you. When all the immediate craziness dies down, I plan to date. I will be much more selective in who I meet and even more selective in who I kiss, but I am not going to let a virus (that has 0.4% of mortality in my age group) rule my life. Without a speedy vaccine, I believe most people will get infected. From what I read of the similar viruses, there will likely be 1-2 years of immunity. So there will also be a large % of those with antibodies that can't spread infection. Equalibrium will be reached. Also, once you recover from the infection, you no longer even have to be selective 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Modern dating was a crap show even before this so I imagine it will add even more crap to the pile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 I'd like to think the quality will go up. Since you're forced to be more selective, you'll weed out more bad matches - so lower quantity of dates, but higher quality of matches. This favors those looking for something serious and lasting, disfavors everyone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 Haaaa, where there's a will there's a way. like say your both living alone , don't go too close to anyone in the two weeks before or touch anything without washing , just be safe as usual right now in other words , and you'd be fine to hold his hand or cuddle and kiss somewhere privately . Well as long as you can trust that the other's done all the right things, be right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesfool Posted May 5, 2020 Author Share Posted May 5, 2020 7 hours ago, chillii said: Haaaa, where there's a will there's a way. like say your both living alone , don't go too close to anyone in the two weeks before or touch anything without washing , just be safe as usual right now in other words , and you'd be fine to hold his hand or cuddle and kiss somewhere privately . Well as long as you can trust that the other's done all the right things, be right. In my country a lot of people are taking it very seriously and avoiding unnecessary contact. I would be paranoid that I would catch Covid-19 from a supermarket and then give it to him, then he gives it to his elderly parents. A girl that I live with has been dating her boyfriend for 5 years and she hasn't seen him for 6 weeks and said he doesn't want to meet until the restrictions are lifted, which at the moment look like they could be in force for a few more months! He is strictly following government advice, but I know she would see him in an instant if he agreed. I understand that everyone needs to do their part to keep this virus at bay and I'm trying my best to keep to the restrictions. I'm someone who always follows the rules, but there's a selfish bit of me that wants to break these rules just for this one guy. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 Anyone with a conscience would be looking at the possible consequences, and if they aren't, they aren't made of very good stuff. So use that as a measure of their character and ethics through this and don't date anyone who wants to be careless about it and get laid despite how many people it could adversely affect. Hell, I need a plumber right now, but I don't want to take a chance on exposing him and his lovely family and grandkids some way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 I'm going to assume "I need a plumber" isn't some sort of euphemistic code, and that your home is actually in need of some repair. But I did laugh. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 5, 2020 Share Posted May 5, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, lovesfool said: In my country a lot of people are taking it very seriously and avoiding unnecessary contact. I would be paranoid that I would catch Covid-19 from a supermarket and then give it to him, then he gives it to his elderly parents. A girl that I live with has been dating her boyfriend for 5 years and she hasn't seen him for 6 weeks and said he doesn't want to meet until the restrictions are lifted, which at the moment look like they could be in force for a few more months! He is strictly following government advice, but I know she would see him in an instant if he agreed. I understand that everyone needs to do their part to keep this virus at bay and I'm trying my best to keep to the restrictions. I'm someone who always follows the rules, but there's a selfish bit of me that wants to break these rules just for this one guy. Yeah right , me and rules do not get along at all but in this case l do believe it's a good idea because l don't want this bastard or to risk giving it to someone else but eh , l mean l wouldn't be meeting just anyone right now but if l was dating and someone very special came along we'd sort something out . Edited May 5, 2020 by chillii 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovesfool Posted May 25, 2020 Author Share Posted May 25, 2020 Just an update on my situation. Still "virtually dating" this guy and messaging him everyday. He seems very keen to meet, as am I, but he hasn't suggested breaking any restrictions. These restrictions will be in force until the end of July effectively meaning we wouldn't be able to meet in person until then. What's getting to me is that my country's restrictions are a lot stricter than other countries, and there are very few active cases meaning the risk is very low. I've been obeying the restrictions religiously, but am reaching breaking point. Most people I know have already broken the rules, but have maintained social distancing. Would I be irresponsible to do likewise and meet him? Neither of us live with or are in contact with at-risk people like the over 70's. We would also maintain social distancing during the date. It's just crazy to think that just because he likes 2 hours away that I can't meet him, but if he lived 15 minutes away it would be fine! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 On 5/3/2020 at 5:42 PM, Kitty Tantrum said: Back to arranged marriages! 😉 🤣😇💍 I had an arranged marriage...I arranged it! 🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 On 5/5/2020 at 6:16 PM, chillii said: l wouldn't be meeting just anyone right now but if l was dating and someone very special came along we'd sort something out . I'm always like this really though, I take it super slow anyway and as I got older casual sex just meant less and less to me. On 5/3/2020 at 9:26 PM, carhill said: Plenty of us are still out and about. Yes, I'm very aware I have the luxury of being able to choose to stay home- or leave the home with sensible lockdown/reopening regulations here. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 On 5/3/2020 at 9:09 PM, thefooloftheyear said: I suspect that it can become an easy excuse to ghost/dump someone ... Or control. Different context but I just talked to an elderly friend, I only got to talk to her in the first place because her daughter wasn't there or it would have been a conversation with her, but I felt a bit irritated the old lady said she's not been allowed any visitors or to leave the house for over two months. They have a car, accessible via the house, there's no reason on earth she could not be taken for a drive, if nothing else...her daughter, my friend, and I have had friendly words before about her being overly controlling. But I can just imagine abusive people going to town with a good reason on the surface... Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 (edited) Get creative , where there's a will there's a way and l could think of 10 of the top of my head, Besides if neither are in contact with anyone else then you can't have the virus so won't need 1.5m apart when you do meet . Edited May 26, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 On 5/3/2020 at 7:09 PM, thefooloftheyear said: I don't want to say this is the case here, as I don't know....But I suspect that it can become an easy excuse to ghost/dump someone ... I'm certainly no dating expert,. but I would think that when it comes to this stuff, "where there's a will there's a way'...In fact, when I think about all the hoops you had to go through as a kid, trying to see your gf and sneak some sex, this lockdown is child's play....🤣 Good luck to you... TFY "It's not you...it's the coronavirus." Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 It will be different moving forward it seems. What will simple HELLO'S be like, will people hug, kiss, ???? Time Will Reveal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 3 hours ago, simpycurious said: It will be different moving forward it seems. What will simple HELLO'S be like, will people hug, kiss, ???? Time Will Reveal I only just switched my OLD profile back on but in datng it looks like the things people recommended before, like meet in person early on and not corresponding forever first, will be somewhat reversed. Re holding hands, kissing, etc I don't tend to do much of that until I've seen someone a few times. On 5/4/2020 at 12:43 PM, Ruby Slippers said: lower quantity of dates, but higher quality of matches. This favors those looking for something serious and lasting, disfavors everyone else. Yes, I think so. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 ln all honesty , if l was a single man it would make no difference to me anyway , never have l done the crazy date date date stuff everyone talks about round here anyway. lt was only ever that someone very very special one in millions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 On 5/4/2020 at 10:43 AM, Ruby Slippers said: I'd like to think the quality will go up. Since you're forced to be more selective, you'll weed out more bad matches - so lower quantity of dates, but higher quality of matches. This favors those looking for something serious and lasting, disfavors everyone else. Well, this would be a +++, right? One small silver lining. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 I did not think the OLD over the phone during lockdown very useful, it was interesting but it's not interesting enough to do for long...and it's difficult. I have had long written correspondence with people who like to write and do it well before which was way more satisfying. But most men aren't going to do that in 2020! I haven't tried the online 'date' yet via Zoom etc but I haven't enjoyed the Zoom other things I've done so am going to wait until I can go back to meeting in person. I reckon another couple of weeks here and I'll be ok to go out for a walk date! I just burst out laughing at the thought of holding hands from six feet away and wondering how soon your arms get tired... ✍🏽️ Link to post Share on other sites
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