Affections

[Raman500]

Hello! Guys,

          well, i donn knw how can i start, but, anyhow, its kinda problem that i can not find my love. It has been more than 3 years ago, when i decided to go in  relationships (it was when i was getting my 18th)... To be honest, i was never successful to go in a date with a girl. Ive never had a girlfriend, an ex, or even a friend that she had feelings towards me(maybe someone did, i can not know what is running inside), of course, i never had sex, i did not sleep with someone, i never kissed someone (yeah, im honest with you, it's because  i am  religious, and please, im not against anyone, you do what you do, i just respect my religion and like to be that one), it's like, im totally virgin, LMFAO, what i have done entire my life, it seems, that i have spent all the time i had for study ( and i continue to do so ).

To stay alive hurts too much, loneliness is killing from inside, being rejected is too bad, being ignored ruins interest in life, being not interested in me causes me to feel disappointed, upset, depressed (yeah, maybe i am interesting to some people, but still that kind of friend)

The last two years like i lost the hope and become totally depressed, that affects on my study (kinda when im reading a book or solving some exercises i can not concentrate, start to open up my silhouette and begin to draem and imagine a happy life with my love, it hurts too much)

I, actually, donn knw what is the problem, or what should i do, am i not beautiful, am i bad person, am i boring, why none girl decided to let me to continue, to tell her something till the end, all my friends and the girls i knew, they threw me in friendzone, ROFL, am i that super friend that all love to giggle with and when iam asking something serious, why all this happens, someone answers me, give me a sign, what is the point 

Something i started to do, and each time asking myself "are you genuinely gonna do that", and anyway, anyhow i do, and i HATE myself for that(now we are talking about self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and ...etc)

Now, any girl i would see i will rush up to her to make a step, to try to talk to her, to attract her attention, it seems, that any girl will stare at me, or even say hello, i will, immediately, return up to her. And sometime i feel like the most beautiful girl wouldnt attract me or move any atom of my feelings, (when i need, they reject, and when they come up to me i will be negative) and anyhow none time i was n able to have a date

I almost did and tried everything, in real life, mobile dating applications, some social websites, and i am still that failure looser each time 

 

Edited May 4, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Lover29]

I learned that lesson long ago, I allow the other person time to really express their interest and make an effort before I emotionally invest because I’m scared of giving, coming across as too much, or acting in a way that would make them not respect me. I am loving and nice and a good person because that’s who I am, not how I act expecting things in return. I know I’m not owed anyone’s love or effort or affection, but it still hurts to have someone tell you that they really like you only to withdraw once you feel comfortable enough to invest in them. You do deserve a mutual relationship and deserve to be respected. We all deserve that. The lumps and bruises you get along your life are normal. Focus on yourself and try to choose people who won't use you because of your good moral qualities. I also like to test people using Volikov test. Personality they have is inborn and some thing we can not change. Anyway, concentrate on yourself, your looks, do what you want and dream in life so the love of your lief will be attracted by your happiness, not the sorrow or depression you are now going through.