preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Well, either her sister has a crush on him OR the ex is putting the sister up to being the one to get him over there. Again, I wouldn't let him go alone, and this will hopefully ruin their little three-ring circus, if indeed there is a s**t show going on. If not, you will see the dynamic and get more comfy. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Haters said: Thinking about sending this: Listen bitch, I don't even f***ing know you. I don't even come around your family or interfere with you and Craig. So could you please quit inviting us to stuff? Kiefer has moved on and since you like to run your mouth and come in between my husband and I, it's inappropriate. You're a whore just like your sister. What do you not understand about moving the f*** on? Well, I hope you feel better getting that out here. This is the place for it, not in real life. He will simply jump to their defense if you did anything like that and make you the problem. You might think about inviting them all to your house, under your conditions such as find a babysitter, etc. And maybe if it wasn't so convenient for him just to drop by their place, they would actually decide it wasn't worth the trouble, especially since you are such an everpresent hostess that they can't pull shenanigans around who asks them a lot of personal questions like who they're dating, and then inviting THEIR men over to see you and see how they like it. This could be nothing, but it's got potential since the sister is trying to hard to turn into something when there's any discord between you. Edited May 4, 2020 by preraph Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 He is always jumping to their defense. How they all are good friends blah blah blah. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Well, if they're "like family," then insert yourself right into their lives and if there's some crap going on, it will severely cramp their style and maybe after they see you will be relentless about not leaving him alone with them, they will stop it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 DON'T send that. Discretion is the better part of valour. Think smart. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 4 minutes ago, preraph said: Well, I hope you feel better getting that out here. This is the place for it, not in real life. He will simply jump to their defense if you did anything like that and make you the problem. You might think about inviting them all to your house, under your conditions such as find a babysitter, etc. And maybe if it wasn't so convenient for him just to drop by their place, they would actually decide it wasn't worth the trouble, especially since you are such an everpresent hostess that they can't pull shenanigans around who asks them a lot of personal questions like who they're dating, and then inviting THEIR men over to see you and see how they like it. This could be nothing, but it's got potential since the sister is trying to hard to turn into something when there's any discord between you. Just the guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 Thinking about just inviting Craig over, looking like a total slut and itll just screw everything up. I'm sending my husband a screenshot of how I want to participate in a bikini competition. Hes going to get really jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 No. All of them, including their men. Let them have to explain to their men why they are dragging them to this ex's house. Put the shoe on the other foot. IF they are up to anything, then chances are those ladies don't want to hang out at your home or with you at all, but what better way to find out. Who knows? Maybe they are just lovely friends and would warm right up to you. So invite them, letting your man know you are willing to get to know them since they are such close friends. And then see if they come or try to get out of it. Don't let HIM be the one to invite them. You do it. The better you know them and see them interact, the more idea you'll have if they're busybodies or just really close old friends or what. And it's always better to have them on your turf. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, Haters said: Thinking about just inviting Craig over, looking like a total slut and itll just screw everything up. I'm sending my husband a screenshot of how I want to participate in a bikini competition. Hes going to get really jealous. Oh, don't blow things up that way. Be nice and just get to the bottom of this. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know. Take the high road. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 2 minutes ago, preraph said: No. All of them, including their men. Let them have to explain to their men why they are dragging them to this ex's house. Put the shoe on the other foot. IF they are up to anything, then chances are those ladies don't want to hang out at your home or with you at all, but what better way to find out. Who knows? Maybe they are just lovely friends and would warm right up to you. So invite them, letting your man know you are willing to get to know them since they are such close friends. And then see if they come or try to get out of it. Don't let HIM be the one to invite them. You do it. The better you know them and see them interact, the more idea you'll have if they're busybodies or just really close old friends or what. And it's always better to have them on your turf. This is the best idea yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 14 minutes ago, preraph said: Oh, don't blow things up that way. Be nice and just get to the bottom of this. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know. Take the high road. Do I invite the actual ex? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Oh, yes. The whole family, whoever he visits with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 Okay I'll get ahold of her and her boyfriend 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Full stop. All you ideas are atrocious, immature & guaranteed to make everything worse. Do not send that email. Do not invite other people over & flirt with them. Do not participate in a bikini contest. I get that you are upset but those are not solutions. They are new problems. I agree that your husband's EX is not the problem. The sister is the problem. For some reason she is trying to keep your husband close & that is an issue. You best keep an eye on that. Sit your husband down & carefully say to him that this situation upsets you. Tell him that he needed to tell you that he dated the EX & that hiding that fact from you broke your trust. Put in in Marine terms: God, Country, Corps. Make him understand that you & your child are his fire team / platoon & he owes the highest degree of loyalty to you & the baby. Explain to him that by staying close to the other family he is adversely affecting the good order & discipline of your marriage. Tell him how much you love him. Admit to being jealous. In a round about way he should be flattered & hopefully it will make him see things from your perspective. Explain that you can be OK with some level of friendship but you need to be shown that you are the priority & he shouldn't jump just because his EX's sister asks. Work with him to dial it back. make it sound like he's committing treason by interacting with them so much. Is there anybody in your lives that your husband trusts & respects -- his parents? a clergy person? a former commanding officer? Can you get that person to intervene on your behalf to explain to your husband how destructive his behavior is? You need reason not game playing, intentional provocation or simply quitting without trying. 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 12 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Full stop. All you ideas are atrocious, immature & guaranteed to make everything worse. Do not send that email. Do not invite other people over & flirt with them. Do not participate in a bikini contest. I get that you are upset but those are not solutions. They are new problems. I agree that your husband's EX is not the problem. The sister is the problem. For some reason she is trying to keep your husband close & that is an issue. You best keep an eye on that. Sit your husband down & carefully say to him that this situation upsets you. Tell him that he needed to tell you that he dated the EX & that hiding that fact from you broke your trust. Put in in Marine terms: God, Country, Corps. Make him understand that you & your child are his fire team / platoon & he owes the highest degree of loyalty to you & the baby. Explain to him that by staying close to the other family he is adversely affecting the good order & discipline of your marriage. Tell him how much you love him. Admit to being jealous. In a round about way he should be flattered & hopefully it will make him see things from your perspective. Explain that you can be OK with some level of friendship but you need to be shown that you are the priority & he shouldn't jump just because his EX's sister asks. Work with him to dial it back. make it sound like he's committing treason by interacting with them so much. Is there anybody in your lives that your husband trusts & respects -- his parents? a clergy person? a former commanding officer? Can you get that person to intervene on your behalf to explain to your husband how destructive his behavior is? You need reason not game playing, intentional provocation or simply quitting without trying. No. Hes really not into religion much Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 I've tried and it just doesnt work. He said that they're never going away! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Just now, Haters said: I've tried and it just doesnt work. He said that they're never going away! Have you tried putting it in the Marine terms I suggested? You are not going to make them go away completely. The goal is to significantly reduce the number & the intensity of the interactions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Have you tried putting it in the Marine terms I suggested? You are not going to make them go away completely. The goal is to significantly reduce the number & the intensity of the interactions. I am a soldier. I'm straightforward Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 40 minutes ago, preraph said: Oh, yes. The whole family, whoever he visits with. No one is wanting to come. Like none. His friends are all chickening out because of the virus yet she invites him over there like its nothing Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Well, I actually meant after the virus . But yeah, see. So invite them again after the virus and see if they still beg off. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 9 minutes ago, Haters said: I am a soldier. I'm straightforward Then you have a better insight into your Marine then I have into mine because I never served, but generally when I can frame an argument into those terms, he's more responsive. It's not so much about being straightforward as speaking a language he understands. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 4 minutes ago, preraph said: Well, I actually meant after the virus . But yeah, see. So invite them again after the virus and see if they still beg off. She said half of these people won't show up, and it's not because of the virus Hmmm....yet she invites him to the house. There's a sign Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 4, 2020 Share Posted May 4, 2020 Oh, well. I wonder which half would show up after the virus. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 2 hours ago, preraph said: Oh, well. I wonder which half would show up after the virus. Exactly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Haters Posted May 4, 2020 Author Share Posted May 4, 2020 Not to mention that this sister is a TWIN OF HIS EX GIRLFRIEND 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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