I sent pictures of someone else to a girl who has now fallen in love with me and wants to meet me in person

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, thomas131313 said:

when i was talking to her just recently on the phone she is so traumatized that she said she cant give me anything right now she needs a bit of time

Hopefully she takes a lot of time...

[thomas131313]

shes having a hard time forgiving me for making her think of someone else and she said shes not sure when shes going to be ok. shes talking about the other person. is there anything i can say to make her feel better?

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Edited June 9, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
PRIVACY

[thomas131313]

shes saying i let her build a story around someone else and she pictured so many things with a fictional character i created with me and someone else and all those memories are tainted now she cant shut down the vision of what she pictured and she sees someone elses face when she thinks about them

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Edited June 9, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
PRIVACY

[Dexterr]

I say have mercy on her and leave her alone.. Let her find someone who has class and is honest. 

[thomas131313]

4 minutes ago, Dexterr said:

I say have mercy on her and leave her alone.. Let her find someone who has class and is honest. 

Well she doesnt seem to really find that ever

[Dexterr]

8 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

Well she doesnt seem to really find that ever

I don't think you know much about class or honesty so don't predict such things for someone else, you come across incredibly cocky and obnoxious. Which is very rich after what you've done.

[thomas131313]

1 minute ago, Dexterr said:

I don't think you know much about class or honesty so don't predict such things for someone else, you come across incredibly cocky and obnoxious. Which is very rich after what you've done.

She really doesnt shes only been screwed around mostly

[Dexterr]

1 minute ago, thomas131313 said:

She really doesnt shes only been screwed around mostly

Then rid her of someone who is still screwing her over, you, and let her learn and move on to better.

[thomas131313]

1 minute ago, Dexterr said:

Then rid her of someone who is still screwing her over, you, and let her learn and move on to better.

You are what you attract

[ExpatInItaly]

19 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

She really doesnt shes only been screwed around mostly

Strange how that happens....

But again, why do you consider this long-distance if you're only a 10-minute drive apart? 

[Dexterr]

Since my previous suggestion didn't really get a decent response, I have another one - practice some self-awareness. 

[thomas131313]

shes saying now that she wish it wasnt a lie actually. she wished she could live in this fantasy for longer. her first instinct is to talk to me on the phone the fake guy when shes upset. she said it felt like i was a stranger when i saw her and she said she felt like shes cheating on the fake me when she calls me. this is so messed up. she hates that i lied. she says even now talking to me she doesnt picture me cause shes heard my voice and stuff. shes crying all day for days. she said this is the most painful thing ever. shes saying she should be so upset with me but shes not, i mean she is but depends. she says its tainted now even the songs ive shown her and she thinks of the other guy. she said im lucky i did this to her as no one else would forgive me and be this loving. she said she doesnt know if she can be with me romantically she doesnt know she can ever trust me enough to be that person and after i betrayed her and she still cares about me and she doesnt know what to do. she doesnt want to lose me but doesnt know if she can be with me. she said when i was there and met her she felt like she was cheating. she is really a mess. she doesnt know how to move forward in all the scenarios that could take place.

[thomas131313]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Strange how that happens....

But again, why do you consider this long-distance if you're only a 10-minute drive apart? 

well its similar in a way, it was kind of like that kind of relationship

[Dexterr]

5 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

shes saying now that she wish it wasnt a lie actually. she wished she could live in this fantasy for longer. her first instinct is to talk to me on the phone the fake guy when shes upset. she said it felt like i was a stranger when i saw her and she said she felt like shes cheating on the fake me when she calls me. this is so messed up. she hates that i lied. she says even now talking to me she doesnt picture me cause shes heard my voice and stuff. shes crying all day for days. she said this is the most painful thing ever. shes saying she should be so upset with me but shes not, i mean she is but depends. she says its tainted now even the songs ive shown her and she thinks of the other guy. she said im lucky i did this to her as no one else would forgive me and be this loving. she said she doesnt know if she can be with me romantically she doesnt know she can ever trust me enough to be that person and after i betrayed her and she still cares about me and she doesnt know what to do. she doesnt want to lose me but doesnt know if she can be with me. she said when i was there and met her she felt like she was cheating. she is really a mess. she doesnt know how to move forward in all the scenarios that could take place.

What do you get out of this? Is it fun, is it somehow fueling your ego?

[thomas131313]

Just now, Dexterr said:

What do you get out of this? Is it fun, is it somehow fueling your ego?

no im not sure what to do actually

[Dexterr]

2 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

no im not sure what to do actually

Be decent, have some class and let the woman you betrayed move on. It would be better for HER to forget this and find someone who won't treat her like you have. And fix yourself. Don't deceive people.

Edited May 21, 2020 by Dexterr

[thomas131313]

21 minutes ago, Dexterr said:

Be decent, have some class and let the woman you betrayed move on. It would be better for HER to forget this and find someone who won't treat her like you have. And fix yourself. Don't deceive people.

now shes saying it might be better if i told her that i didnt want to be with her instead of her knowing the truth then shes still in that fantasy and maybe it would have been easier. i didnt think she would be this badly affected i have to be honest especially from knowing the truth

[ExpatInItaly]

Leave this woman alone. 

 

[basil67]

Tell her: "I have behaved terribly and disgraced myself.  I have no excuse for what I did.   I think you're terrific, but it will be best if I move on and leave you to recover in peace.  I'm so sorry"

[Emilie Jolie]

57 minutes ago, thomas131313 said:

now shes saying it might be better if i told her that i didnt want to be with her instead of her knowing the truth then shes still in that fantasy and maybe it would have been easier. i didnt think she would be this badly affected i have to be honest especially from knowing the truth

She's giving you an out, please take it, especially since you have 'other issues' to be dealing with yourself. She sounds like she is in deep emotional distress. 

 

[thomas131313]

heres the problem guys. ive become emotionally attached to her i think. we talked about it today im finding it hard not to talk to her and i told her im a bigger idiot than her since i knew it would never work and she said it could even be worse for me in ways since i knew from the beginning what would occur i guess

[thomas131313]

9 hours ago, Emilie Jolie said:

She's giving you an out, please take it, especially since you have 'other issues' to be dealing with yourself. She sounds like she is in deep emotional distress. 

 

i dont know if you understand. shes saying that if she has never found out about the lie, not now she would have rather told me earlier on before she knew it was a lie that i didnt want to be with her then

[thomas131313]

she said shes working on it, and feels she has been really good about it all, but i did hurt her alot so its going to take some time for her to heal that part of her heart and that its not a overnight thing and then she said it doesnt mean she doesnt care about me or love me but shes really hurt at this point and need to deal with that before she can think of anything else

[Emilie Jolie]

What am I missing? I understand that, from your own description, she's been crying non stop for a few days. That to me is a good indicator that she is in emotional turmoil. What I don't really understand is why you're not giving her the space she needs to take stock of what's happened. I get that you want to continue on with this as you were - do you not think it's a bit too self-serving? Surely you can see she is in a bad way?

[thomas131313]

4 minutes ago, Emilie Jolie said:

What am I missing? I understand that, from your own description, she's been crying non stop for a few days. That to me is a good indicator that she is in emotional turmoil. What I don't really understand is why you're not giving her the space she needs to take stock of what's happened. I get that you want to continue on with this as you were - do you not think it's a bit too self-serving? Surely you can see she is in a bad way?

ok so what do you suggest, just give her more time?