poppyfields Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Maybe it's me but hasn't anyone found themselves totally smitten with someone, knock your socks off attracted, and you had no idea why? I mean, if someone asked why this person makes you want to fall to your freakin knees, could you really say "oh we have common intersts" or "they have a great personality." Really? Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Maybe it's me but hasn't anyone found themselves totally smitten with someone, knock your socks off attracted, and you had no idea why? I mean, if someone asked why this person makes you want to fall to your freakin knees, could you really say "oh we have common intersts" or "they have a great personality." Really? Lol. Not since I was really young (teenager). Not in that literal sense, like, "What on earth do I see in him?" As a teenager and especially in middle school and high school I would "just like" the best-looking boy or the best athlete even if he was a box of rocks, or smart (yes, it does happen) but not into literally anything I was, or who I just didn't click with and felt like I was talking to a stranger. But even then I did know what I saw in those guys...they were really physically attractive. I actually don't think that past the age of like 20, 21-ish, I have ever been attracted to a guy who wasn't smart and funny and who wasn't passionate. And the sense of humor has to be kind of smart-*ss-ish. Think Connery as Bond. I loved that smart-*ss humor. (Not when it was toward women, that still shocks me, I try to think "It was the sixties, it was the sixties, it was the sixties...") I obviously never saw those movies at the time but seriously I watch them when they come up to this day. All the other stuff, well, that's a mixed bag, because people have a zillion traits but otherwise, I do have a type. Edited May 13, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) I didnt mean it like "oh what in god's name do I see in him," that sounds negative to me. Like, guy's an a-hole, what the eff do I see in him! Lol I meant it like it was so many things that attracted you, that pulled you in, but none truly definable. Other than to say there was just this energy between you that is intangible. Not sure it makes sense to anyone , but it does to me. Edited May 13, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 21 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Or maybe it's none of those things. Frankly I don't think "common interests" mean a hill of beans. And a pleasing personality is nice too but it does not create sexual or emotional attraction. If you're looking to make a friend, sure, but romance? Chemistry, mutual mental and physical energy? Those things are intangible, they can't be defined nor forced or manufactured. I dont think with me dick.... you can have a date with the sexiest person you ever saw but if there is no conversation flow whatsoever..you say you still would date? at this point of my life It’s about finding someone to enjoy life with..in order to do that you need to share some key common interests. i bet you think you can still change a guy to your liking... Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: i bet you think you can still change a guy to your liking... What? Lol. Where did that come from? Nevermind. I think my words got lost in translation, no worries, it happens. Edited May 14, 2020 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 46 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Well, sure. But he has to go through the process again - he's found "another" but is she a catfish? Or real? Is she sane? Has she ever boiled a bunny on someone else's stove? Will she giggle on the first date and say she loves it when a man buys her jewelry, hence angering him to the point of an anurism and hospitalization then and there and instead of being nice and picking up the restaurant check...I mean since an artery just burst in her date's brain...she mails it to him? With "tip" circled so he doesn't forget to add that too? Is she as tall or short as she says she is? Is she really just "the attorney" at that pornmaking place? How many very big, easily angered brothers does she have? Is she... Oh god no.. No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Is she...overweight? (shrieks of horror come from absolutely EVERYWHERE right now. Not that, NOT FRIGGIN' THAT. Next thing you know we're going to hear this woman is GETTING OLDER THAN SHE WAS A YEAR AGO) Yes, some men and some women will swipe on over to the next person, especially at the very beginning, and so should you. But if you're talking about having already been on some dates, and you miss the boat on ONE tiny thing...like, you were going to call right after work but you call at 7 instead of 6 or something...and he drops you like a bad habit then...so what if you've lost him? Ohhhhhh lool that was a good read But i meant before we've met, but spoken a couple of times.. but he still uses the word catfish..then mybe he will be looking at other options no matter how cool or nice the female seems. If shes quite on and off with him contact wise 😁 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 (edited) 20 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I didnt mean it like "oh what in god's name do I see in him," that sounds negative to me. Like, guy's an a-hole, what the eff do I see in him! Lol I meant it like it was so many things that attracted you, that pulled you in, but none truly definable. Other than to say there was just this energy between you that is intangible. Not sure it makes sense to anyone , but it does to me. Oh...geez...shoot...then, no. The a-hole thing just dries me up, you could sand candlesticks with it after such an encounter. ETA: Oh, sorry...read that wrong. Okay..."there were so many things..." No...too much of a scientist, maybe? I inspect my poor dates like they're bugs. I can not believe anybody comes back. I'm fascinated with makes people tick, with what makes relationships happen...among what makes about ten thousand other things tick. I've never had to wonder, or maybe I should say, my brain has never let me wonder. For long. It has always "made sense" to me, even if picked apart. Edited May 14, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 2 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Ohhhhhh lool that was a good read But i meant before we've met, but spoken a couple of times.. but he still uses the word catfish..then mybe he will be looking at other options no matter how cool or nice the female seems. If shes quite on and off with him contact wise 😁 If that hunk of offal called me a catfish I'd be gonner than gone is ever gone. He'd BETTER be looking for options because he no longer has this one. Start looking, bud. Hurry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said: Personality, interests, how we converse and does it flow. In non OLD meets— it was rare I’d have random meets like at a bar and exchange numbers or meeting people elsewhere. It was usually take 3 or so meets then I’d ask for a number and we’d date. If I met someone that was very. Random I’d ask for a number. In my mid 20s while in grad school I had other jobs so I may meet a coworker but we weren’t always working the same shift so it may have taken a few overlapping shifts and time to talk. OLD was different because you knew going in this person wanted to date so there wasn’t a need for those feelers to find out if theee was interest. I had many first dates that seemed to go well but nothing happened after. I think part of it was because they may have wanted that perfect match or they were dating others and made judgement after date 1 on who to pick. i got many multiple dates to learn about them. I had some weird stuff. I also had a couple ltrs. Oh well its good u think a bit more about the deeper stuff. There are people i met ..guys who only cared about a woman's attractiveness Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Oh...geez...shoot...then, no. The a-hole thing just dries me up, you could sand candlesticks with it after such an encounter. Are we on the same page today CG? The a-hole thing dries me up too, but yeah I used to go for the bad boy way back when. No thank you! I'm simply talking about a chemistry, a mutual energy generating between you that cannot be defined, that goes above and beyond just the physical, that's all. But I'll drop it. Edited May 14, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: If that hunk of offal called me a catfish I'd be gonner than gone is ever gone. He'd BETTER be looking for options because he no longer has this one. Start looking, bud. Hurry. Yeh it is annoying. But since he only has one pic of mine. I sort of get it. And because i don't always call/message. Maybe hes scared i wont be as pretty as i look in the photo according to him. 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 4 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: If that hunk of offal called me a catfish I'd be gonner than gone is ever gone. He'd BETTER be looking for options because he no longer has this one. Start looking, bud. Hurry. One guy once told me that he met a woman..and she was using her cousins photo 😮.. he knew as soon as he saw her it wasnt who she claimed. So i guess it happens. But personally i can't be asked to have to prove to someone i am who i say i am. I mean seriously the guy must think quite highly of himself that im going to pretend to be another person in order to speak to him😂😂😂 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, miranda561 said: One guy once told me that he met a woman..and she was using her cousins photo 😮.. he knew as soon as he saw her it wasnt who she claimed. So i guess it happens. But personally i can't be asked to have to prove to someone i am who i say i am. I mean seriously the guy must think quite highly of himself that im going to pretend to be another person in order to speak to him😂😂😂 There may be someone out there willing to jump through those hoops. It's not you, it's probably not most women. Either he'll find his match or he'll realize he's kind of paranoid. (ETA: I mean the hypothetical guy asking you for "proof.") I get that weird stuff happens on OLD, and probably, yes, a good deal of catfishing. But there's a limit...any reasonable person knows that you could ask for a hundred pics and if the person is a catfish, he or she will simplly send 100 fake pics. You go for the date or you don't. And...you try hard not to bring your scared baggage to future people who might be great. Edited May 14, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 9 minutes ago, miranda561 said: One guy once told me that he met a woman..and she was using her cousins photo 😮.. he knew as soon as he saw her it wasnt who she claimed. So i guess it happens. But personally i can't be asked to have to prove to someone i am who i say i am. I mean seriously the guy must think quite highly of himself that im going to pretend to be another person in order to speak to him😂😂😂 Even without using a fake picture I’ve seen women look different in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 (edited) 56 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Maybe it's me but hasn't anyone found themselves totally smitten with someone, knock your socks off attracted, and you had no idea why? I mean, if someone asked why this person makes you want to fall to your freakin knees, could you really say "oh we have common intersts" or "they have a great personality." Really? Lol. I hope I find that. I have felt like that a few times but they were attractive men and a lot of women found this about them too. I haven't found anyone that someone says "why". I do hope that happens to me. I hope people will read my thread because I don't think I'm fit to date yet. Edited May 14, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said: There may be someone out there willing to jump through those hoops. It's not you, it's probably not most women. Either he'll find his match or he'll realize he's kind of paranoid. You'd be surprised. There are a lot of women who if they like the guy will literally jump through hoops. Ivr been told a million times either step up or he will find someone who will give him a lot more than you 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 14 minutes ago, miranda561 said: Yeh it is annoying. But since he only has one pic of mine. I sort of get it. And because i don't always call/message. Maybe hes scared i wont be as pretty as i look in the photo according to him. 😂 Okay...this I could see. I'd say...come on now...probably two pics, or three. People snap that many before breakfast. You don't want to jump through hoops but don't make them jump through hoops either...that's not fair. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Even without using a fake picture I’ve seen women look different in person. How can that be though. Photoshop? 🤔 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 17 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Are we on the same page today CG? The a-hole thing dries me up too, but yeah I used to go for the bad boy way back when. No thank you! I'm simply talking about a chemistry, a mutual energy generating between you that cannot be defined, that goes above and beyond just the physical, that's all. But I'll drop it. No, I had misread the top part! I thought you were saying you liked a-holes! LOL!!!! I was like...WHAT the actual......... Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Okay...this I could see. I'd say...come on now...probably two pics, or three. People snap that many before breakfast. You don't want to jump through hoops but don't make them jump through hoops either...that's not fair. True 🤔. I mean its been a month no contact from both sides since he asked to meet on the phone. Looks like i dropped the ball again big time 😂 Hes prolly browsing profiles as we speak 😳😬 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 Just now, miranda561 said: How can that be though. Photoshop? 🤔 I had this happen wtih a man...years ago...no photoshop, older photo, creative angle. Literally I started to walk past him when I got to the restaurant. I never in a million years would have recognized him. He had the chin-tipped-down angle, he showed the top of his hair that wasn't 100% gray yet (the full-on effect in person, a few years later when he WAS all gray was...all gray, and drastically different), the down-angle hid his belly and just literally made his arms, everything look different. Even his eyes. He wasn't smiling much in the pic and his eyes looked much much bigger that way. I mean when I went back later to look at the pic I realized it was him, sure. He didn't steal someone else's pic or anything like that. But if I'd seen that pic in his wallet I'd have thought it was his son or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 minute ago, miranda561 said: How can that be though. Photoshop? Photo editing, makeup, shapewear, creative angles, and so forth. Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyplanetmoon Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 53 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Maybe it's me but hasn't anyone found themselves totally smitten with someone, knock your socks off attracted, and you had no idea why? I mean, if someone asked why this person makes you want to fall to your freakin knees, could you really say "oh we have common intersts" or "they have a great personality." Really? Lol. Yes absolutely! For me they are the only relationships worth pursuing. When there is mystery in the attraction, I don’t tend to get bored or lose interest. That something more propels things naturally. i have been thinking about this in the last month and I think it has to do with non-verbal communication. When two people have similar non verbal communication styles, then there is chemistry. Ie how they each experience sensuality etc. these have very little to do with physical appearance in the “model looks” dept but is tied to visual senses like physical appearance, movements, glances, physical touch etc. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 6 minutes ago, Realitysux said: I hope I find that. I have felt like that a few times but they were attractive men and a lot of women found this about them too. I haven't found anyone that someone says "why". I do hope that happens to me. I hope people will read my thread because I don't think I'm fit to date yet. That sounds romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
miranda561 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 10 minutes ago, Shining One said: Photo editing, makeup, shapewear, creative angles, and so forth. 🤔 whats even the point though Once they meet itll be game over anyway right. Link to post Share on other sites
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