Plan for the future

[an0nym0us123]

I spent some time today wondering what exactly people have that I dont that allows them to form relationships much easier than i do. I can only think they are either much better looking or have much better personalities than me.

Most of the men my age are now looking somewhat overweight and I managed to keep myself in shape. I own my own house and farm and have another house renovation project coming in the future. I will do most of the work myself as i am pretty good at that sort of thing. At one point i was building log cabins for people.

Then I wondered maybe I am not educated enough. I left at the end of high school with 3 A levels in the uk. A couple of years later a teacher friend got me to go to night school to do A level mathematics. The intention at the time was to go on to university to study civil engineering. 

By the time my final exams came the notion of going to university had gone off me. And despite not having time to finish the exam I passed with a B grade. My teacher told me that virtually no one ever passes going through night classes as it was only 2 hrs of teaching a week and most cant take it in. I was the only one out of 9 others to pass.

Being mid 30s now and child free and never married I also thought this would give me a slight edge in the dating world.

So many women I spoke to said the never match with guys who are child free and never married. I have met women who wont date single dads. I am a clean slate and thought this would help but it never seemed to.

I am also 2 inches taller than average for my part of the world. Among my friends I am definitely one of the taller in the group. As well as height I was blessed in other departments, I have had a couple of sexual partners who never orgasmed during sex but actually did with me😂 

Although I'm spelling it out here these are not things i would brag a about on dates. Sometimes i do talk about the farm or going to night school but i dont really try using it as leverage. 

On paper I thought I had a decent amount working in my favour. But in the dating world i feel i have almost zero value. No doubt people will say there is no connection. Maybe they are right, maybe I just dont have what anyone is looking for even though ive had no problems getting girls to laugh or engaged in conversation.

Seems there must be something about me that makes them run away. I never could work that out.

[d0nnivain]

Over 30 you are very unlikely to find a childless woman.  You may have to rethink your position on single mothers. 

OLD especially Tinder are the WORST places to find true love.  Most people on there are broken themselves.  

I urge you to apply certain farming principles to your search for dating.  You have to have the right soil, hearty stock, sunlight, water & plant food / fertilizer.   OLD is like a fallow field.  All the nutrients have been sucked out of the soil.   It's no longer good for planting.  It needs time to regenerate.  In person activities are dark, rich loom.   So even though you are busy managing the family farm do  participate in activities once its safe to do so again. 

Use good seed, not old impotent seed.  This means put yourself in the best light.  Do get your teeth looked out.  Spruce up your wardrobe.  Keep your hair styled 

Sun / rain / fertilizer -- be a good conversationalist.  Be interesting.  Be interested in the other person.  Be kind & gracious.  

Then you have to tend to your crops.  You till the soil, you make sure they have water, you deal with pests that attack to blight your crop.  But you don't hover or over water, over fertilize etc.  You can wait around for the women to initiate but if you don't show some interest, most will give up.  The trick is not to smother someone.  You don't expect a harvest the day after you plant so you can't expect a full blown committed relationship the day after a 1st date.  Patience is key.  

Happy hunting.  Be well.  Stay safe.  

[an0nym0us123]

Actually the majority of women i took on dates were childless. Although older i get the harder it will be. I really dont think i will ever be able to accommodate young kids. Maybe when i am older and they have grown up kids i could handle that. I think i will probably just completely give up by that stage though. Live life as a hermit.

 

[d0nnivain]

I'm not much of a kid person either.  I opened myself up to dating a man with a child.  It was fine.  I learned about myself too.  Learning to interact with children is a skill & your SO will be able to give you tips. 

Shedding your negative attitude will help. 

[Juha]

On 5/12/2020 at 3:26 PM, an0nym0us123 said:

It was my own fault partly. I should have made better use of the options that were available to me when i was younger. Now all that is left is divorced women with kids or complete train wercks. The few decent women without kids that are left are basically impossible to date

 

 

I can empathize with you 100% on this, in same boat pretty much.  

 

Divorced women with kids, train wrecks, and total divas in my age group.

Many times the divorced women with kids are also train wrecks

 

I too have dated many single mothers and most of them are all over the place.

I want my own kid(s) and they are done having kids since they already had them.

They obviously did not really like me enough to consider having kids with me, so I moved on.

To me the single mothers if you have no kids is not worth your time if you want you own kids.

I too have pretty much said eff it as far as dating goes now.

Have dealt with so much bs from dating the last few years I am done giving an eff.

Edited May 18, 2020 by Juha