My girlfriend left me

[Lowkey7]

I won’t message her for a few weeks so she can think and I just hope and pray she comes back to me. 
 

I might go to her house to speak to her and her family face to face so we can deal with this like adults 

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, Lowkey7 said:

I might go to her house to speak to her and her family face to face so we can deal with this like adults 

What does her family have to do with it?

[Lowkey7]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

What does her family have to do with it?

Her family know about me and they really like me

[assertives]

34 minutes ago, stillafool said:

What does her family have to do with it?

Probably hoping they can get into her ear help pressure her to pick him.

OP, leave her family out of this. It's between you and her, at the end of the day, she decides who she wants to date/marry. If she wanted to be left alone, pulling this stunt is only going to make her dislike you and push her further away from you.

[Lowkey7]

5 minutes ago, assertives said:

Probably hoping they can get into her ear help pressure her to pick him.

OP, leave her family out of this. It's between you and her, at the end of the day, she decides who she wants to date/marry. If she wanted to be left alone, pulling this stunt is only going to make her dislike you and push her further away from you.

Then what do I do? She can’t go back to him, that’s for a fact. She’s traumatised by him and her ex in laws. 

[Lowkey7]

She said she’s seen my true colours.. based one argument and the only thing I said out of anger was to go back to him if you miss him so much. That’s literally all I said because I was hurting. 
 

prior to this, she would send me long messages saying how much I mean to her and how much strength and support I’ve given her and that she can’t wait to be my wife. She always called me a blessing 😔

[assertives]

It's not up to you to say if she can't or she can. You are still not getting it. It's solely her decision and up to her to decide what she wants to do. She is her own person, capable of making her own decisions. It's not up to you or her parents to dictate how she should or shouldn't be living her life. I'm starting to see why she said you are manipulative, and you guilt-trip her.

Also, she may not necessarily make a either you or him choice. She may also decide to stay single for awhile or date someone else new totally. Point is, you cannot make her choose you or force her to want a relationship with you. You can only let go and move on. Work on yourself and do some reflection, perhaps if and when the time does comes and she decides on her own volition that she wants to try again, you may feel differently altogether. But no, there's nothing you can do when it comes to the relationship. It involves 2 people, and there is no relationship if she doesn't want to be with you.

[Lowkey7]

I swear I’m on the verge of suicide, I’ve been through so much, depression, the accident, and she knows that but I ignored all my issues for hers and now I got no one to turn to. I’m so broken.

[stillafool]

46 minutes ago, Lowkey7 said:

Then what do I do? She can’t go back to him, that’s for a fact. She’s traumatised by him and her ex in laws. 

Well if the bolded is true what do you have to worry about?

[Lowkey7]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Well if the bolded is true what do you have to worry about?

Losing her, not just to him but to anyone. I want her

[Difficultstuff]

Sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. It's natural to feel broken but that feeling can pass. And you need to take care of yourself above all.

If you're feeling really bad right now and need to talk to someone you can call the Samaritans (I think you're in the UK) free on 116 123. They're trained to listen to whatever you say and not judge - I've done that myself when things have been tough, and it can be helpful just to speak to a stranger.

I also understand what it's like to feel suicidal. I know this stuff may be hard to talk about but you can call your GP and arrange a phone appointment. They may be able to prescribe you some medication to help you through the immediate feelings.

[Lowkey7]

Just now, Difficultstuff said:

Sorry you're feeling so low at the moment. It's natural to feel broken but that feeling can pass. And you need to take care of yourself above all.

If you're feeling really bad right now and need to talk to someone you can call the Samaritans (I think you're in the UK) free on 116 123. They're trained to listen to whatever you say and not judge - I've done that myself when things have been tough, and it can be helpful just to speak to a stranger.

I also understand what it's like to feel suicidal. I know this stuff may be hard to talk about but you can call your GP and arrange a phone appointment. They may be able to prescribe you some medication to help you through the immediate feelings.

Thank you 

[Lowkey7]

Me and the love of my life broke up recently. We’ve had the best 8 months together, been through so much. I had an accident on the motorway on my way to see, almost losing my life, she had come out of a divorce, but we was strong as anything and so in love, that I can’t even put it in to words. 
 

only few days ago, we had a falling out, she asked for space and blamed me for being in her life during her divorce and accused me of not allowing to her think straight back then because of my depression which I thought a bit harsh. 
 

that obviously triggered me a little, I’m usually such a calm guy and can take anything but for her to say I played a factor in her divorce really hurt mess so I told her if her ex husband means so much to her then don’t go back to her, which I instantly regret. 
 

now she’s saying she’s seen my true colours over one thingI said despite me being so good to her for the last 8 months, putting in so much effort to make her loved and whole again. I don’t want to sound like I’m blowing my own trumpet but I was good to her, both our families seen that and so did her friends. 
 

my question is, she has been constantly telling me she doesn’t love me anymore and that I was a mistake and the biggest regret of her life. She’s blocked me all social media and even blocked y number from her parents phone but on the other hand is texting my dad to tell him it’s over between me and her even though my dad has tried pleading with her and that he has been looking forward to having her as his daughter in law at some point in the future. Only few days before the argument she told me she is stressed that she hasn’t seen me in 8 weeks to the lock down and that she misses me. 
 

im so distraught at the moment, her birthday is coming up in July and I’ve been saving up to make it the best possible day for her. I see the money and I break down because I’ve made such a huge effort, skipped meals, outing with friends, just to make sure she was happy. 

I understand she is angry with me right now but how likely is it that she meant everything horrible she said to me about me being a mistake and her biggest regret. Do women just say this sort of stuff in anger but not really mean it? Will she ever come back? I’ve cried day and night since it’s happened, my parents can see how distraught I am too. 
 

 

 

[Realitysux]

Sounds Immature

[Lowkey7]

Just now, Realitysux said:

Sounds Immature

On who’s part? 

[Realitysux]

Both 

[Lowkey7]

Just now, Realitysux said:

Both 

What did I do wrong besides say that one thing and how can I fix it?

[Realitysux]

You do nothing. You are not doing anything wrong by posting here and although some opinions on this site are strong, they aren't right or wrong. At the moment do nothing 

[Lowkey7]

3 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

You do nothing. You are not doing anything wrong by posting here and although some opinions on this site are strong, they aren't right or wrong. At the moment do nothing 

But can you answer my question please

[Lowkey7]

Her last email from this morning she said 

 

“why don’t you get the message, it’s over. Your a mistake, the biggest regret of my life. “
 

 

I deleted it straight away without replying, it tore me apart. I refuse to believe she thinks that after everything we been through. Our relationship was 99% good and just the 1% bad and she is focusing on the bad. 

[Realitysux]

10 minutes ago, Lowkey7 said:

But can you answer my question please

No idea what you did, was not there. Right now do nothing with that relationship and just leave it. Focus on other things. I tell ya, when I date a man and he makes me question anything, I'm out.

Edit to further explain: These are not relationships, these are headaches 

Edited May 12, 2020 by Realitysux

[Lowkey7]

3 minutes ago, Realitysux said:

No idea what you did, was not there. Right now do nothing with that relationship and just leave it. Focus on other things. I tell ya, when I date a man and he makes me question anything, I'm out.

Edit to further explain: These are not relationships, these are headaches 

Do girls just lose interest just like that? Can they fake the love for 8 months? 

[assertives]

I personally can't, but I know there are some girls who can. It also happens alot in rebound relationships. It's all nice, fine and dandy until things start to get serious and then they realised they are not ready for that level of commitment again. From your description of her though, it doesn't sound like she did much "loving". It sounds more like she's taking or more like accepting more than reciprocating, with you always showering her with gifts, moral support, etc. She didn't really seems to have put in any effort in doing the same for you. I guess it's also telling in a way when she said she finds you "obsessive" because of the constant gifts. Which can make her feel guilty especially if she isn't feeling as invested as you are in this.

[Lowkey7]

7 minutes ago, assertives said:

I personally can't, but I know there are some girls who can. It also happens alot in rebound relationships. It's all nice, fine and dandy until things start to get serious and then they realised they are not ready for that level of commitment again. From your description of her though, it doesn't sound like she did much "loving". It sounds more like she's taking or more like accepting more than reciprocating, with you always showering her with gifts, moral support, etc. She didn't really seems to have put in any effort in doing the same for you. I guess it's also telling in a way when she said she finds you "obsessive" because of the constant gifts. Which can make her feel guilty especially if she isn't feeling as invested as you are in this.

Is there no way around it? I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. 

[snowboy91]

21 minutes ago, Lowkey7 said:

Do girls just lose interest just like that? Can they fake the love for 8 months? 

They could - but what you're missing is that feelings can change. A likely scenario is that she did feel something for you at the start, and her feelings gradually faded over the past 2 months - which through your infatuation you may have missed.

I will say that it's likely that she's saying such harsh things out of frustration - because you keep chasing after her when she's made it explicit that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. She wants you to leave her alone for a while. Don't take it personally, it's more to do with her than to do with you.

Take that money you saved up for her to make her happy, and spend it on yourself to make you happy. It's not a complete fix, but sounds like you may need to treat yourself.