SumGuy Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 18 hours ago, smint said: Preraph!So true!You said it so good"catalogue shopping"! Exactly. He is also seeing how many hoops he can get you to jump through...not good at all....controlling at best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smint Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 Guys,you were so right,I didn't send him photo yesterday,and he is completely silent now,and I am too. Last message was him asking photo yesterday,what a psycho,so no photo,no talk. Even better,I deleted today all dating apps,there is noone normal.Some friends got married bcs of apps and they are happy,but for me does not work. This guy is sick. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 Don’t base every guy on this guys behavior. have a set of standards that you go by - and don’t waiver from those values/decisions. if a guy asks for something unacceptable to you - say no. if he stays around after saying no - you have a guy who respects your answer. If they don’t respect or admire your answer then eliminate them. not all guys are the same. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) 21 hours ago, smint said: It started to scare me. I am glad you didn't send more pics and didn't meet up with him. In the future, if you ever feel the above that is a HUGE red flag. Trust your gut. You should never ever have those feelings before meeting someone. And do not ever, ever, EVER meet anyone at your house or his house. You meet at a public location and do not tell him where you live. These men are total strangers, no matter how much chatting you do ahead of time. Edited May 13, 2020 by hippychick3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 (edited) 22 hours ago, smint said: Would you meet him in my place? Nope. Pushy people annoy me. If he's this bad now before you even meet, when everybody is on their best behavior, do you even want to know how demanding he'll be at his worst? I don't think he's sick but he is rude. Glad you deleted the apps. Good for you! Edited May 13, 2020 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
Author smint Posted May 13, 2020 Author Share Posted May 13, 2020 Thank you guys,yes of course I will not go to someone's home or say where I live.That is for sure. But so far men I met from apps are all so weird,one let me pay our drinks on first date(and last),two of them didn't tell me that they are divirced and hava children(one of them also let me pay our drinks),one I got closer with his for 6 months,he has plastic doll at home,doll like from glass window?!??!?!This one with photos,I really prefer to stay single forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gamon Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 You said you only have a headshot on your dating profile. It's been my vast experience that means the person is considerably overweight. I might not have been as pushy as this guy apparently was but I'd never meet a girl without at least seeing a picture of her entire figure. Sure pictures can be faked, they can be from 10 years/100 lbs ago but at least it's something. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 13, 2020 Share Posted May 13, 2020 @gamon She's sent him numerous pictures in different settings, incl full body and he is still pushing her for more. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 hour ago, gamon said: You said you only have a headshot on your dating profile. It's been my vast experience that means the person is considerably overweight. I might not have been as pushy as this guy apparently was but I'd never meet a girl without at least seeing a picture of her entire figure. Sure pictures can be faked, they can be from 10 years/100 lbs ago but at least it's something. I agree that a person, male or female, should have a clear picture of one's full self (I hate "body shot," i sounds so clinical) but dude..he did...he was asking for more pics (plural) literally daily...the ONE time she did not comply he just went silent... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: @gamon She's sent him numerous pictures in different settings, incl full body and he is still pushing her for more. This-a right here... ^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 I agree with others. He sounded pushy. As long as you had more recent full-body and face photos, he should have been happy just to have the opp to meet you to find out for certain. Of course, I have asked people for photos as well when they only had a face or one from decades ago. In the end, if you represent yourself accurately, no issues and no pushiness to be tolerated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gamon Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 I missed the part where she sent him more photos. Please disregard my earlier post. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 10 hours ago, hippychick3 said: I am glad you didn't send more pics and didn't meet up with him. In the future, if you ever feel the above that is a HUGE red flag. Trust your gut. You should never ever have those feelings before meeting someone. And do not ever, ever, EVER meet anyone at your house or his house. You meet at a public location and do not tell him where you live. These men are total strangers, no matter how much chatting you do ahead of time. I totally agree! And let someone - anyone know when You meet someone the first time - where you are meeting and then let them know when that meeting ends. its a way of allowing someone know that you’re staying safe while meeting a complete stranger. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smint Posted May 14, 2020 Author Share Posted May 14, 2020 Yes guys,total pushy bastard,he is still silent hahahaha even better,so many crazy people out there and such a waste of time on these apps and he had on his app 2 photos,and sent me 3 on whaysapp,so he is asking but not sending himself,anyway,whatever Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 Guys always ask for photos. It is up to you whether you choose to send them or not. I don't send them; I really dislike being asked. You can actually refuse you know. You are under no obligation to send photos, especially if you are not comfortable doing so. It is up to you to draw the boundaries/lines between what you are happy doing and what you are not happy doing. Please do not meet him at your home, that is potentially very risky. If you want to meet him, meet in a public place (bearing in mind social distancing) and do not let him know where you live/work or where your car is. Make sure he cannot find your home at least until you have spent time with him on a few occasions and know him a lot better. If he is pressuring you to send photos, he does not sound like a guy who is very interested in your mind or personality. Has he asked what your interests are, what you like to do? Does he sound caring (this is different from him saying he is caring). Does he consider your feelings? Any guy who overrides your feelings is not worth bothering with. Quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 14, 2020 Share Posted May 14, 2020 On 5/13/2020 at 2:14 AM, MissBee said: If you feel uncomfortable or scared already, doesn't matter why really, it's hard to imagine how meeting would go well from there. I wouldn't bother if I were you. This is it, OP, trust your feelings. They are telling you you are uncomfortable with this, so now is the time to refuse. If a guy makes you feel uncomfortable, you can draw the lines. I know you probably want a lovely boyfriend but allowing guys to push you around will not get you one - it will get you a guy who pushes boundaries all the time. Best to hang on until you find someone who respects you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 15, 2020 Share Posted May 15, 2020 12 hours ago, smint said: Yes guys,total pushy bastard,he is still silent hahahaha even better,so many crazy people out there and such a waste of time on these apps and he had on his app 2 photos,and sent me 3 on whaysapp,so he is asking but not sending himself,anyway,whatever If it were me and I were bored at a certain point I might have just started sending him D pics. 1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smint Posted May 15, 2020 Author Share Posted May 15, 2020 (edited) CaliforniaGirl you made me laugh so much hahahha Yes guys,true,we need to set boundaries and when someone is pushing,it is not good sign and it is not respectful person.We are not obligated for anything,that is so true. I love this forum,so many good advices I got about life from strangers. Thank you so much ❤ Edited May 15, 2020 by smint Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 23 hours ago, smint said: CaliforniaGirl you made me laugh so much hahahha Yes guys,true,we need to set boundaries and when someone is pushing,it is not good sign and it is not respectful person.We are not obligated for anything,that is so true. I love this forum,so many good advices I got about life from strangers. Thank you so much ❤ You'll find that great guy...rooting for ya! 😊 1 Link to post Share on other sites
max3732 Posted May 16, 2020 Share Posted May 16, 2020 On 5/13/2020 at 5:05 PM, smint said: Thank you guys,yes of course I will not go to someone's home or say where I live.That is for sure. But so far men I met from apps are all so weird,one let me pay our drinks on first date(and last),two of them didn't tell me that they are divirced and hava children(one of them also let me pay our drinks),one I got closer with his for 6 months,he has plastic doll at home,doll like from glass window?!??!?!This one with photos,I really prefer to stay single forever. Not all men are creeps. Why not just block the bad ones and talk to ones that send you normal messages? I'm proof there are great guys on the dating apps too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) Guys want photos.. Idk it’s like their lifeblood , they feed off the stuff Edited May 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Guys want photos.. Idk it’s like their lifeblood , they feed off the stuff I've never once asked a girl for photos. If she hasn't posted enough for me to know what she looks like, I swipe left. Also, any girl I've been keen on has usually wanted to migrate from chatting on the dating app to Messenger. No need to ask for pics when her Facebook profile is accessible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) Oh okay. Yea, I don’t add strangers I match on apps to my FB. There was a thread I remember you made a while back that I think illustrates why I don’t do that... It tends to get messy to add every Tom, dick, and Harry on there. Also, I know they do it because they want PHOTOS! And to snoop on other stuff. But I don’t mind that part. But hypothetically, if you’re in a LDR type thing like OP and her guy and you didn’t have access to pictures in other ways, you wouldn’t want photos Edited May 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 11 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Guys want photos.. Idk it’s like their lifeblood , they feed off the stuff I only ask for photo while still on the dating site. The reasons are clear. The pics are not enough for me to determine whether they accurately show what and how she looks and I do have an interest. Once it has been adequately determined that her profile is representative of who she claims to be, I go directly to texting by phone. No other social media apps, directly to phone or meet up so that there is no other means of deception. The meet happens when I am reasonably certain that she is not fake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I only ask for photo while still on the dating site. The reasons are clear. The pics are not enough for me to determine whether they accurately show what and how she looks and I do have an interest. Once it has been adequately determined that her profile is representative of who she claims to be, I go directly to texting by phone. No other social media apps, directly to phone or meet up so that there is no other means of deception. The meet happens when I am reasonably certain that she is not fake. Makes sense to want more pics to verify they’re legit. But some want them even after you’ve met in person. When they’re not with you it’s “send me a selfie of what you’re doing” type thing... as if they’ve forgotten what you look like in a day. Just seems common esp when living in another city like op and her guy. Edited May 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
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