Working from Home Blues

[CaliforniaGirl]

So...this is bizarre. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way.

I normally work from home. I'm an independent contractor, so I don't work for a specific office or anything. I also have a side hobby.

Since shelter-at-home, with my husband also working from home (he normally doesn't), I just have this WEIGHT over me and I can't seem to get down to work!

I mean...ultimately I do. I'm getting my stuff done, but I put it off until the end of the day at times. using any excuse not to do it. It's not even a laziness thing, per se. I mean I'll do gross housework instead. It's not like it's some sort of positive trade-off.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I sort of feel watched and judged by my husband and even to an extent by my kids? I don't even know.

I dread my work...it isn't the same anymore...I feel like it isn't going anywhere...I feel like "Why am I even doing this?" People joke about working from home in their underwear or pajamas. I NEVER used to. I always got dressed. I don't feel like it since CV-19. I feel like, "What's the point?" And it extends to my work. What's the point? Does my 'work' even matter? Does it count? Does anybody care? I make way less money for my household (I do the majority of the housework and child stuff, not just caretaking but homework, etc.). But now it just feels all useless...like...they all see that I'm just filling time or something...everybody else has an important job but not me.

I don't know what's wrong with me or what's happening. FWIW I've worked all my life. The only reason I now work from home rather than out in an office is because I have a special needs person in my house. I started working at the age of 18 and have never "not worked at all" including through pregnancies, etc. I went back to work after a couple weeks of giving birth each time, etc. Work has always been a huge part of my identity but now I feel like...what the hell...it means nothing...I don't even know what I'm doing in this house...just cleaning it...and taking up space...

You'd think this would motivate me to work *more* but instead I just feel this heaviness like "Why?" each morning and each morning it gets harder to get down to it.

I hate this.

I hate Covid-19.

[sothereiwas]

2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I guess I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way.

I don't, for me it's basically the same, except I can't visit my parents or other family, which was the main reason I decided to move to this place. So that's a little sub optimal.  

[BaileyB]

I feel the same about working at home, it’s hard with my significant other. We don’t have two dedicated working spaces, I tend to move around because he wants to watch tv during his “breaks” and he’s often distracting me. He disturbs me, by his very presence. 

I find that I don’t have much interest in working at all these days... so much talk about being a home, I kind of hate having to go into the office somedays. But, my mood and mental health is always better when I go to work, the structure and normalcy is helpful.

The weather is also improving, I want some summer holidays. It feels almost like a letdown, probably to be expected after all the stress and all the changes that happened this spring. We are not meant to stay in a “high stress” state all the time. I’m looking forward to some holidays, some time to rest... I’m trying hard to be grateful for the weather, when I go for a walk, all the little things. Stay in the moment, find some peace. Still, I fear what is coming in the fall and winter. 

Edited May 13, 2020 by BaileyB

[schlumpy]

8 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

So...this is bizarre. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way.

I normally work from home. I'm an independent contractor, so I don't work for a specific office or anything. I also have a side hobby.

Since shelter-at-home, with my husband also working from home (he normally doesn't), I just have this WEIGHT over me and I can't seem to get down to work!

I mean...ultimately I do. I'm getting my stuff done, but I put it off until the end of the day at times. using any excuse not to do it. It's not even a laziness thing, per se. I mean I'll do gross housework instead. It's not like it's some sort of positive trade-off.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I sort of feel watched and judged by my husband and even to an extent by my kids? I don't even know.

I dread my work...it isn't the same anymore...I feel like it isn't going anywhere...I feel like "Why am I even doing this?" People joke about working from home in their underwear or pajamas. I NEVER used to. I always got dressed. I don't feel like it since CV-19. I feel like, "What's the point?" And it extends to my work. What's the point? Does my 'work' even matter? Does it count? Does anybody care? I make way less money for my household (I do the majority of the housework and child stuff, not just caretaking but homework, etc.). But now it just feels all useless...like...they all see that I'm just filling time or something...everybody else has an important job but not me.

I don't know what's wrong with me or what's happening. FWIW I've worked all my life. The only reason I now work from home rather than out in an office is because I have a special needs person in my house. I started working at the age of 18 and have never "not worked at all" including through pregnancies, etc. I went back to work after a couple weeks of giving birth each time, etc. Work has always been a huge part of my identity but now I feel like...what the hell...it means nothing...I don't even know what I'm doing in this house...just cleaning it...and taking up space...

You'd think this would motivate me to work *more* but instead I just feel this heaviness like "Why?" each morning and each morning it gets harder to get down to it.

I hate this.

I hate Covid-19.

I understand exactly what you are saying but then I'm retired and it goes with the territory. My life hasn't changed all that much since I am the primary caregiver for my wife. 

What you are experiencing might be shared by many people. I don't think that people think about how their environment conditions them and when something changes it throws off the balance and your focus suffers as a result. 

It could also be a part of the anxiety that everyone must be feeling when they lose control and have no doubt we have lost control of our own lives for a period of time.

Fear creates doubt and long-term instability in any society.

Edited May 13, 2020 by schlumpy

[thefooloftheyear]

This is the main issue that wasn't discussed or explored when this started and now its becoming readily apparent...At the outset it seemed like the dream scenario...

It's unhealthy to do this for an extended amount of time, for most people.....While people were generally ok working from home a few days, then going into the office..Now that it's 100% home,. they are not liking it....Eating too much, little/no exercise, not enough person to person interaction....etc..

The other aspect, is that with the lockdown it's limiting any recreational activities. .it's creating a mental health problem....That's why I really think it's vital that they start to open health clubs and gyms (with controls and limitations at first)...For many of us it gives us balance and improves mood dramatically....I know you can exercise at home, but its really not the same...Add that to the constant and never ending gloom and doom coming from every media source imaginable....It will crush anyone's spirit if they spend any time listening to it...

I guess for some of y'all it boils down to "be careful what you wish for" ….

it's not applicable to me as I have been out there every day, but I am hearing it from just about everyone I know in the same situation....Hang in there and try to get as much exercise and fresh air as possible...and resist the temptation to reach for too much comfort food...That's about the best advice I can think of, but it still may not help, really...

Be well and hang in there, all.

TFY

[schlumpy]

12 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

I know you can exercise at home, but its really not the same...

You can say that again. Exercise bike staring at the basement wall compared to wind in my face as I lean into a nice tight curve on the bike trail. No comparison.

[Ruby Slippers]

I think taking care of a home and family is a very important job. Everything you do would be missed if you weren't doing it. It sounds to me as if you're feeling unappreciated for the things you do.

My boyfriend and I are both working from home at my house in demanding professional jobs with lots of phone/video calls, deadlines, so we can't really put it off for long.

Beyond that, there's also house and yard work of all kinds to be done. We split that fairly evenly and regularly thank each other for cooking a good meal, folding the laundry, mowing the yard, etc.

[sothereiwas]

4 hours ago, thefooloftheyear said:

the constant and never ending gloom and doom coming from every media source imaginable

This is probably a big factor overall, maybe more for people who are idle, but I'm sure it affects everyone. I never really pay those jokers much attention when they express opinions, probably why Newsy (Be informed, not influenced) is my goto morning news if I'm getting news via TV. 

I like working from home, it allows me to get a lot more done working with equipment I like and avoiding time wasters like sitting in LA traffic. 

It's not for everyone, I bet the people who used to annoy me by stopping by my desk and chatting hate it. 

[preraph]

Probably having your husband there is smothering you a little. I usually work at home too and it was getting to me because I still did get out about at least four days a week and go out to eat and I also went into the office in the morning. You need to get out a little. and you probably should go ahead and try to get back on your routine but work in getting out and taking breaks. 

 

I realized yesterday I need to get my butt up out of bed because it's making my breathing problems worse and I've always heard that laying down too much can get you pneumonia, so today I was up until about an hour ago doing some things and running around. 

 

But I too have gotten really lazy. I've got nothing but time for the last week and I have accomplished very little and have put off filling out the unemployment application that I should probably go ahead and do.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Thanks, everybody. It's heartening to read how other people are feeling right now about this.

Today I'm trying to have it a little more together. After I finish up my work I'm making a point of doing something with my kids (besides their homework, that's done).

Then I'll write a little.

Just...will keep trying to move forward.

I appreciate it a lot. ❤️

[Gr8fuln2020]

21 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

So...this is bizarre. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way.

I normally work from home. I'm an independent contractor, so I don't work for a specific office or anything. I also have a side hobby.

Since shelter-at-home, with my husband also working from home (he normally doesn't), I just have this WEIGHT over me and I can't seem to get down to work!

I mean...ultimately I do. I'm getting my stuff done, but I put it off until the end of the day at times. using any excuse not to do it. It's not even a laziness thing, per se. I mean I'll do gross housework instead. It's not like it's some sort of positive trade-off.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I think I sort of feel watched and judged by my husband and even to an extent by my kids? I don't even know.

I dread my work...it isn't the same anymore...I feel like it isn't going anywhere...I feel like "Why am I even doing this?" People joke about working from home in their underwear or pajamas. I NEVER used to. I always got dressed. I don't feel like it since CV-19. I feel like, "What's the point?" And it extends to my work. What's the point? Does my 'work' even matter? Does it count? Does anybody care? I make way less money for my household (I do the majority of the housework and child stuff, not just caretaking but homework, etc.). But now it just feels all useless...like...they all see that I'm just filling time or something...everybody else has an important job but not me.

I don't know what's wrong with me or what's happening. FWIW I've worked all my life. The only reason I now work from home rather than out in an office is because I have a special needs person in my house. I started working at the age of 18 and have never "not worked at all" including through pregnancies, etc. I went back to work after a couple weeks of giving birth each time, etc. Work has always been a huge part of my identity but now I feel like...what the hell...it means nothing...I don't even know what I'm doing in this house...just cleaning it...and taking up space...

You'd think this would motivate me to work *more* but instead I just feel this heaviness like "Why?" each morning and each morning it gets harder to get down to it.

I hate this.

I hate Covid-19.

You are certainly not alone by any measure. I often feel this way and if it were not for hundreds of other people depending on me, daily, I would rather not do what did every day when going into work. I have months of work that I need to complete in a few weeks because of procrastination. Nope, many people are in the same boat. One thing though, I continue remind myself that I am privileged to have a job where I can work from home to maintain employment, continue to get healthcare insurance, salary, etc. That helps me as well. Good luck. Keep your social media open and safe communication with friends. COVID sucks for sure. 

[FMW]

My work is actually super busy right now.  It's good in that it keeps me too busy during the week to focus on the weirdness that is the world right now.  But it's not good in that I'm slowly letting it take over more of my day.  I start at about 6am and sometimes I'm not stopping until around 8pm.  The lack of structure isn't good for me, for the opposite reason that most people think about working from home.  I'm doing more work than ever.  

[Philosopher]

This may sound trivial, but I moved to a new home eight months ago specifically so I could walk to the office. For the last two months I have got absolutely zero benefit from being able to walk to work. If I did have to commute I would probably not mind working from home, however as I have made a rather large decision to move home with proximity to my office being a major factor, I have found it rather annoying. 

[Abetterme]

I just want to say that I empathize and feel much the same. I also work from home and have done so for 15 yrs and typically feel very productive and motivated,  but the added stressors trying to take care of educating our daughter and all being on top of each other has been hard many days. 
 

I took an enneagram test to work through some things in therapy and was identified as an “achiever” personality. While this is great in a lot of respects, it can cause me issues when I feel like there’s no “hill to climb”. As much of this situation is out of my control I spin wheels trying to move us forward, but it’s like groundhog day! Also despite WFH, I travel quite a bit which tends to break up the normal isolation and obviously there is none of that now. I also am very uncertain how this virus will impact our careers long-term and that lends to a sense of dread. 
 

I’m trying to roll with all of these feelings. Give myself permission to have rough days, enjoy the good ones and look for healthy outlets like extra outdoor activities and time connecting with friends to help “lighten” myself up. 
 

It is a hard time. Stay healthy and I’m thinking of you! 

[sothereiwas]

52 minutes ago, Philosopher said:

This may sound trivial, but I moved to a new home eight months ago specifically so I could walk to the office. For the last two months I have got absolutely zero benefit from being able to walk to work. If I did have to commute I would probably not mind working from home, however as I have made a rather large decision to move home with proximity to my office being a major factor, I have found it rather annoying. 

I actually found that ideal when I was in that situation; I could WFH when I needed to go head down, and I could walk to the office for meetings. Basically I treated my home office like a cubicle that was at the far end of a really, really big building. Worked great. 

[preraph]

My on-call office job, I have a desk there or if there wasn't much to do, I would just do it from home.  I really don't need to be there at all, but I think my boss would prefer it, and it does get me showered and dressed and ready to go to lunch afterwards.  Keeps me from laying around too much, but I can't say I miss having to get up during this, although I am having to be careful not to lay in bed too much for health reasons.  They're not wearing masks there, but are still working.  If they were wearing masks, I might start going up there some.  But most of them are on the phone too much for masks.  

[Ollie180]

I’ve never worked from home, I’ve never worked from a desk, I’ve never looked at a computer all day! ....I find it really tough!

Ive never been work shy, but for me work has always been about people, meeting people, interacting, achieving something together!

I can only really focus for like 30 min intense spurts.. so I try and work each morning for a few hours, and do the bulk then and then I end up dipping in and out of it isn’t the evenings... I know I’m lucky to have been given a role where I can do this from home.... but it does not play to my skill sets at all!

I do enjoy the video calls though - they brighten up my lockdown! (And a few of those are global which is always interesting)

[CaliforniaGirl]

Hi again, everybody!

Thank you for the awesome tips.

I have been trying to look forward to the weekend. Just making a separation there. So instead of making little trips during the week I'm saving it for the weekend. I feel like this week it's helping.

Usually what we do is a walk somewhere. Social distancing, of course. We used to walk any day we had off, all together, literally any/every single day. (ETA: Pre-pandemic days, I mean. We just love to walk, for whatever reason. Every holiday, day off, weekend, etc.) We don't do that anymore but had been just sort of going "should we do it today...no...meh...okay...maybe today..." The kids asked the other day and I told them we'd get some delicious drinks and hike somewhere over the weekend.  And now they're excited.

Edited May 15, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl