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late night calling

diana9

By diana9,
in Second Chances

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diana9

diana9

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I totally understand .Yes, at that time I didn't want a relationship, but then I thought about it when time passed that I should find a meaningful relationship. He is 35 years old.

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Miss Spider

Miss Spider

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It’s ok to change your mind, but it’s not fair to expect him to follow suit. If it was implied to be casual he really isn’t doing anything wrong by keeping the status quo... He wants casual. If you are annoyed by the boots calls,  tell him to stop the and if he still doesn’t, block 

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stillafool

stillafool

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On 5/16/2020 at 3:21 PM, diana9 said:

He is not rambling, he says that he wants to take me to eat pancakes.

What place is serving pancakes during this lock down at 2:00 AM?

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fred123

fred123

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4 hours ago, Malin889 said:

Is he young, like in his 20s? Stuff like this used to happen all the time to me and my friends in my early to mid 20s; we'd go out every weekend, we'd make a friends with benefits for a few months  or whatever, and someone calls someone else late at night or meets them up at the last bar of the night. It's fun and games, but that's all it is. But you have to know that it's just casual and fun and nothing more serious, or you'll get hurt. You hope and wish that the guy is "the one", but honestly, unfortunately in your situation, you hooked up with him for 2 months, you set the standard for what your "relationship" is, and now, you can't turn back time unfortunately. 

If you want a relationship with someone, you have to set up the boundaries at the beginning; you can't ask for a relationship after hooking up with someone for 2 months, you have to say upfront that that's what you're looking for, and your actions have to follow. You can't say you want a relationship but then keep sleeping with the guy without him taking you out. (Sorry if that sounds harsh. I'm not blaming you.) 

Sometimes it does work out, but in this case, he doesn't want a relationship; you made it easy for him, and there doesn't seem to be any turning back. All you can do right now is block him, and ignore him, and open yourself up emotionally so that a new guy who wants a relationship can come into your life. If you keep letting this guy call, emotionally you'll never be open for a new person to come into your life. But there are good guys out there that want relationships, that will treat you nice, and if you let go of this guy, then you'll open yourself up to new possibilities. 

i am one of those guys lol

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Malin889

Malin889

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On 5/16/2020 at 3:21 PM, diana9 said:

When he is texting me he says that he wants to see me, and asks me what kind of person do I want and when I reply he says that he is looking for that also. He is not rambling, he says that he wants to take me to eat pancakes. Last time I told him that he needs to plan in advance and he says that he will, but he said that while drunk. And he also wrote to me again at 5 am and asked me if I am sleeping, and I was so I didn't reply anything.

In these two last months we texted about everyhing and he also said that he wants to just talk to me, and asked me if he can help me with anything. But lately there were only drunk texts.

What is he doing at 5am? Is he up for work at 5am or still drinking at 5am? And how often is he getting drunk?? 

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Malin889

Malin889

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23 minutes ago, diana9 said:

he goes out with his friends on friday, not working tomorrow. To my knowledge he drinks on friday or saturday.

So at 5 am he’s still drunk or getting up for work? 
Where are they going during the pandemic? 

 

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diana9

diana9

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At 5 am he is still drunk, he was drinking from 10, 11 I suppose. They are going to a cafe or hanging with his friends.

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poppyfields

poppyfields

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1 hour ago, diana9 said:

:D he implied that we should go during the day. 

You mean for take out?  Restaurants, bars, clubs are closed for eat-in dining and drinking.  At least in the US they are. 

Edited by poppyfields
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diana9

diana9

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4 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

Restaurants, bars, clubs are closed for eat-in dining and drinking.  At least in the US they are.

I am not from US. Now, we can go to cofee shops and eat outside.

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Miss Spider

Miss Spider

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There are some states where dine in is still open and even more opening up now with 50% capacity or outside. But yea don’t think where OP’s guy wants to get some pancakes he has to worry about the hours ... if you know what I mean 😉

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Malin889

Malin889

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3 hours ago, fred123 said:

i am one of those guys lol

Ha! The good old days!

If I could go back and give advice to my 20-something self... 

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Malin889

Malin889

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2 hours ago, diana9 said:

At 5 am he is still drunk, he was drinking from 10, 11 I suppose. They are going to a cafe or hanging with his friends.

Oh, I'm sorry... yeah that's very annoying if he's calling constantly when he's drunk, at the end of the night (or morning) after he's gone out with his friends. You don't want to answer to him. Just keep ignoring him. And 35 years old? He should know better. The bad part is, he does know better, but he does it anyway. You can do better! 

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CaliforniaGirl

CaliforniaGirl

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5 hours ago, diana9 said:

:D he implied that we should go during the day. 

Eew,  he figured if he vaguely hinted maybe some day he'd buy you a few pancakes it would excite you into dropping trou that night??

 😂😂😂

Is it the Great Depression? 😅

 "I'd gladly pay you on Tuesday for a blowie today"

You already know what to do. 

Edited by CaliforniaGirl
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Miss Spider

Miss Spider

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You must understand carry out pancakes after a bootycall is the  hookup culture equivalent of getting a woman a promise ring. If they actually go IN the Waffle House and eat? Girl, he gonna propose....

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Happy Lemming

Happy Lemming

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18 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

You must understand carry out pancakes after a bootycall is the  hookup culture equivalent of getting a woman a promise ring. If they actually go IN the Waffle House and eat? Girl, he gonna propose....

What if he makes you home made blueberry pancakes with maple syrup??

 

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simpycurious

simpycurious

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16 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

What if he makes you home made blueberry pancakes with maple syrup??

 

You gotta admit pancakes can be a "deal sealer."  My Nana's house lady made the best pancakes EVER.  I think the OP has a tough decision.

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Miss Spider

Miss Spider

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On 5/18/2020 at 4:11 PM, Happy Lemming said:

What if he makes you home made blueberry pancakes with maple syrup??

 

then I'm gonna propose 😍

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simpycurious

simpycurious

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On 5/18/2020 at 3:11 PM, Happy Lemming said:

What if he makes you home made blueberry pancakes with maple syrup??

 

Lots of syrup. Regardless of nutritionist's say PANCAKES are the "GOOD Carbs"..........

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