Luna66star Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 This guy fantasized about an affair, sent you a few texts and then chickened out! Link to post Share on other sites
Dora_M Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 22 hours ago, Earthwindfire449 said: I agree. But then why does he text me everyday for 3 months and encourage me to tell him about my life, how I’m feeling etc?? And then say he wants to see me. And then cancel. Perhaps the only thing he needs from you is an ego boost so texting and sexting for him is enough. He obviously doesn't want to get involved deeper in this situation with you. Face to face meeting is probably too complicated for him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I think after the one time sex he was meh about it and that is why he isn't rushing in for more but keeps communicating just in case. Also you said you told him you have mental health issues so he may be asking you how you are all the time just to protect himself from being exposed to his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 There are so many reasons why he may have shifted position from physical sex to this texting/sexting mode. Maybe he feels guilty, maybe his wife found out or maybe she is suspicious, maybe she is keeping an eye on him and he can't get away. Maybe this is a little game he is playing with his wife being in on the act... Maybe this "one and done" with new women is his style, maybe he has another more established OW around so is not "desperate" for sex. Maybe he uses the sex as a hook but prefers sexting/texting as it is safer. Maybe he was not that impressed with the sex but feels he needs to keep the OP on the back burner just in case he needs her in the future... Many MM are conflict avoidant, so maybe he is just ducking out of telling the OP he is not keen... eventually he thinks she will dump him and he gets to avoid being the bad guy... Maybe he... Whatever the real reason it is immaterial, as this situation is not suiting the OP and for that reason she needs to end it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) Maybe he senses that she is getting emotionally attached to him in a way that he didn’t want, when he signed up for no strings attached sex and some sexting fun on an adults only website... and maybe he is backing off because he doesn’t want a woman to become that attached... It could be any number of reasons. She may never know, but she does know that this is not meeting her needs which means, it’s time to find a new strategy... Edited May 19, 2020 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author Earthwindfire449 Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 1 hour ago, stillafool said: I think after the one time sex he was meh about it and that is why he isn't rushing in for more but keeps communicating just in case. Also you said you told him you have mental health issues so he may be asking you how you are all the time just to protect himself from being exposed to his wife. No I never told him that lol. I would really sound crazy then, right? Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Earthwindfire449 Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) I told him I was done, that we aren’t looking for the same thing. I want to have an actual physical/sexual relationship in real life not just texting. He goes on and on about how he wants the same thing but life/his career gets in the way. He suddenly says “why don’t we meet tomorrow to discuss this in person?” 🙄 I cant with this. Edited May 19, 2020 by Earthwindfire449 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Earthwindfire449 said: I told him I was done, that we aren’t looking for the same thing. I want to have an actual physical/sexual relationship in real life not just texting. He goes on and on about how he wants the same thing but life/his career gets in the way. He suddenly says “why don’t we meet tomorrow to discuss this in person?” 🙄 I cant with this. Edited May 19, 2020 by stillafool wrong thread Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Earthwindfire449 said: 🙄 I cant with this. Edited May 19, 2020 by stillafool wrong thread Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 22 hours ago, Earthwindfire449 said: I have Mental health issues for sure. 21 hours ago, Earthwindfire449 said: I’m a very sick person and I need help. Maybe he's picked up on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Earthwindfire449 said: I told him I was done, that we aren’t looking for the same thing. I want to have an actual physical/sexual relationship in real life not just texting. He goes on and on about how he wants the same thing but life/his career gets in the way. He suddenly says “why don’t we meet tomorrow to discuss this in person?” 🙄 I cant with this. Don't meet him - he's going to waste your time. If all you want is a no-strings attached sexual r'ship, this isn't your guy. He's making it way too complicated. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 On 5/18/2020 at 1:35 PM, Earthwindfire449 said: And I agree what I have done is selfish and hurtful. I’m a very sick person and I need help. op, I have a spouse and older child with mental health issues, and the "selfishness" is part and parcel of their illness. It's not intentional. It's like they were/are drowning and can only think to save themselves. You sound like a n intelligent person who is actually more self aware than a lot of people. You know you have a problem, and since you've tried to self medicate ( in a manner of speaking) I get the feeling you aren't happy. Then problem is that is internal. Nothing anyone else can do will really help-you need to do that yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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