crederer Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I live in a basement apartment. It doesn't have a separate entrance, I walk in the garage door that opens to the mainfloor kitchen and then the entrance to my basement apartment is like 3 feet from there. The owner of the house travels a lot for work. About 2 months ago I came walking in while the owner was away for work and his girl was on the couch half nude with another guy and she quickly covered up with a blanket when I came in. I pretended not to see and proceeded to go to my apartment. Now today I came home after doing a 3 week stint on an essential job up north, while the homeowner is away in a different city, and some of our equipment broke down so I was sent home earlier than expected and I saw her AGAiN with a guy on the couch that isnt her boyfriend. (Different guy than the last time). She ran upstairs while I was taking off my boots but i saw her doing it in the reflection of the window. Should I tell him about this? I'm not friends with him but I think i would want to be told if I were him. They've been dating for about a year but she kind of moved in here when the covid s*** happened saying she was worried because she lived in a busy apartment while we live in a quiet neighborhood. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 In this case, I wouldn't do it. Why create a problem for yourself when she lies to him and he believes her and now he's after you. Don't need that disruption. What you should worry about is that she does a preemptive strike because she is worried that you will tell him. If your roommate suddenly becomes hostile then you will know what happened. Next time get some pics for insurance. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crederer Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 This is what I'm thinking. People tend to shoot the messenger. It's just so blatant. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crederer Posted May 19, 2020 Author Share Posted May 19, 2020 I want to tell him but hes so infatuated with her I dont know I'd he will take my word when she lies about it. Also, I haven't been on this site in a while so I dont know if me quoting you ,means my comment is directed to you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 11 hours ago, crederer said: Should I tell him about this? Yes. I'd say something to him privately along the lines of Hey it's none of my business & I can forget what I saw but just so you know when you are away on 2 separate occasions I saw your GF messing around with another guy on the couch. Sorry. Then leave it alone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Besides you are the tenant, not his BFF. Who cares if he "shoots the messenger"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Maybe, they have an "arrangement" so to speak. I would thread lightly. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilie Jolie Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Can you talk to her instead? You can make it a casual, lighthearted conversation about juggling a few men at a time? Then she'll know you know. I think it's fairer to give her the option to come clean to her boyfriend first. If she doesn't, then you can think about telling the guy? Seems a bit delicate to involve yourself in the intimate details of someone you don't know well, but it's never nice seeing someone being taken advantage of. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Besides you are the tenant, not his BFF. Who cares if he "shoots the messenger"? Why invite drama? I would not tell - you don't know how they might drag you into it and create drama for YOU, it's a real possibility. I say it's better to let people handle their own affairs and live their own lives. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 If this was you friend then I would tell him but as he is your landlord and your home relies on his good will then I would say nothing. If you told him he may not believe you or choose not to believe you and I guess his gf will say you are lying. I am not sure if you are a woman or a man but if a man she will say you were hitting on her and are jealous, or if a woman, you are trying to break them up as you fancy your landlord... Getting involved will not do you any good and may even get you evicted... 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 23 minutes ago, elaine567 said: If this was you friend then I would tell him but as he is your landlord and your home relies on his good will then I would say nothing. If you told him he may not believe you or choose not to believe you and I guess his gf will say you are lying. I am not sure if you are a woman or a man but if a man she will say you were hitting on her and are jealous, or if a woman, you are trying to break them up as you fancy your landlord... Getting involved will not do you any good and may even get you evicted... - this is exactly the kind of things that can happen, crazy as it seems. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 If you feel the moral imperative is to tell, then you could consider snapping a pic with your phone next time this happens and show that to him, so there is proof. (IF you choose to do this, make sure the other guy is in the pic.) Then there won't be a question of whether you are lying or what your intentions are. They are not married and I assume no children are involved so fallout would presumably be limited to his (and her) emotional distress. However, you should still tread lightly as "he might shoot the messenger" anyway and you get evicted or similar. So consider carefully if it's worth the (presumably low, but real) risk of blowback in one form or another. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Just now, mark clemson said: (IF you choose to do this, make sure the other guy is in the pic.) And make sure the other guy is not going to knock you out... I guess he wont be too pleased at having his picture taken... Be careful if you are going to play at being a PI 1 Link to post Share on other sites
contel3 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 16 hours ago, crederer said: They've been dating for about a year but she kind of moved in here when the covid s*** happened saying she was worried because she lived in a busy apartment while we live in a quiet neighborhood. You live there so be careful….. Having said that, especially in times of Covid this is just ridiculous. She moves in with him to what, infect him because of all the random guys she's bringing into his home? May be a bit elaborate, but you could leave a letter for her, saying you would appreciate it if she abstained from inviting men to your shared space during a Pandemic and make sure he's the one who sees it. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 If your landlord was your father, best friend, brother, etc, I would say yes please do, but since he is just your landlord, mind your own business. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Another possible idea you could consider would be to wait until you've fully moved out (and presumably need no "references" or similar from him) and only then inform him. Tell him that if he doesn't believe you he could consider installing a motion detector webcam that would view the areas in question so he could see for himself whether what you say is true. This would probably makes blowback of significance to you less likely. It's possible he will be at least somewhat traumatized emotionally upon viewing the video, but that's unfortunately what happens with this sort of thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Leave a VAR at your place and then play him the recording once you have enough proof. Make sure you know the laws about recording in your state though. And keep the recording to yourself so you can destroy it if need be. Don't just give it to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 I would stay out of this. You don't know any of these people very well. You don't know what sort of arrangement they might have, what their relationship is like, how any of them might react. I can understand why you feel it's right to say something, but given that you live there and I assume you need a peaceful place to come to home to? I would mind my own business on this one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 How much longer on your lease? If you need to continue living the basement of your landlord's house while he's being cuckolded by his skank girlfriend upstairs, because you have no alternative living arrangements, then don't sh-t where you eat. If you can find better living arrangements, then you should tell your landlord on your way out the door, as bro code courtesy. "Thanks, it was good knowing you. And you should probably be aware, ..." Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I've seen two different guys over at the house. You were gone but your girlfriend was home. I figured I'd tell you because I didn't recognize either of them and they were in your place." You've given him the information a responsible tenant would give their landlord without directly accusing his gf of anything. If he wants more information, then you can fill him in with then "sorry, dude" details. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 stay out of it, stay out of it, oh and by the way, stay out of it. Did I mention stay out of it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted May 19, 2020 Share Posted May 19, 2020 Exactly, don’t get involve. It’s none of your business anyway and will certainly get you in way more trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 (edited) Do you think she would accuse you of something to get you out of the picture? Tell the boyfriend before she tells him that you tried something. I would start looking for a new apartment. Edited May 20, 2020 by usa1ah Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted May 20, 2020 Share Posted May 20, 2020 I'd keep out of it being as you don't know them. If she's a regular player he'll find out soon enough, and also he may know about it and all you'd achieve would be getting on the wrong side of them. If you feel that strongly about telling him then do it anonymously, like put a note in his letter box telling him he should install hidden video recorder or such, but don't say why and don't give away your identity. I assume there's other people in the apartment building so anyone could have seen these guys arrive and leave. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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