So exhausted after losing two grandparents within the space of a week.

[Oscar1993]

A few weeks ago now, I lost both of my grandfathers within a week. Due to covid, everything felt a little surreal. I'm exhausted, life just seems to pointless to me now.

I can't see the point in living, to die. Working so hard your entire life, raising your family, to just die. Maybe its the point of grief I am at but I'm so tired. I don't want to believe they are gone. Even standing at my grandfathers grave didn't feel real, I couldn't believe it was him. I just wish I could go back a few months before this virus.

Everything is making me angry, whining clients at work make me want to scream shut up, there's more important things in life. I need a break from work but I feel like they don't appreciate how hurt I am, which makes me feel like I am being pathetic to ask. 

I don't know what the point in this post is. I'm just sad and I feel totally overwhelmed by everything. I'm pretending I'm ok but I'm not. I'm totally overwhelmed. 😔

[FMW]

The point to living is exactly that - living, experiencing life for as long as you have it.  Loving, having fun. The very fact that life is not forever actually puts into focus it's value.  It's limited, it's precious, it shouldn't be wasted.  

 Your grief over your loss and the state of the world right now is understandably overwhelming you.  Just take things day by day and try to recognize the good things in life right now, don't allow yourself to constantly swim around in the negativity and despair.  

It's not pathetic to ask for time off.  Everyone has experienced losses and others understand more than you realize.  No need to go into great detail when you request the time off though, just say "deaths in the family".  Most people aren't going to question it any further.  

[d0nnivain]

Oh honey.  I am so sorry about your loss.  Especially in this time when you are deprived of the rituals for mourning, your grieve is overwhelming & your outlets reduced.  

Anger is part of grief.  To lose 2 people in such a short time quadruples the grief.  You are not pathetic because you are upset.  Do take some time off.  You need to process & recharge  

Everyone dies.  That is inevitable but life is not pointless.  Try reading the poem, The Dash.   https://thedashpoem.com/the-dash-poem-printable/  Maybe it will give you some comfort.  

[Ellener]

11 hours ago, Oscar1993 said:

A few weeks ago now, I lost both of my grandfathers within a week. Due to covid, everything felt a little surreal. I'm exhausted, life just seems to pointless to me now.

I can't see the point in living, to die. Working so hard your entire life, raising your family, to just die. Maybe its the point of grief I am at but I'm so tired. I don't want to believe they are gone. Even standing at my grandfathers grave didn't feel real, I couldn't believe it was him. I just wish I could go back a few months before this virus.

Everything is making me angry, whining clients at work make me want to scream shut up, there's more important things in life. I need a break from work but I feel like they don't appreciate how hurt I am, which makes me feel like I am being pathetic to ask. 

I don't know what the point in this post is. I'm just sad and I feel totally overwhelmed by everything. I'm pretending I'm ok but I'm not. I'm totally overwhelmed. 😔

My condolences for your loss.

All these feelings are 'normal' responses for loss and grief, and you may feel like this, on and off, for some time.

Allow yourself your emotions, find appropriate times and places to express them and a way to honour your family members.

The pandemic has been an overwhelming way for people to experience life's sadnesses and uncertainties.

Hang in there, sending you love and prayers.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))