Not your usual in-law rant: MIL molested husband

[angryguest]

Is this the proper forum for this? I'm not sure.

 

To condense a very long and frustrating story, my husband and I have been married several years. From the time we were dating his mother had been extremely distant and cold, and it became spite when my husband moved away from home to marry me. For those first few years of marriage it was a big headache because she would act like I was the 'second woman' who 'stole' her man away. She never contacted us except to try and guilt her son, never offered any help or motherly ANYthing, but expected him/us to do what she wanted, no questions asked. Well, it never happened, but that didn't stop her from trying over and over again.

 

Anyway, in the beginning I had known that the relationship between my husband and his mother had been less than appropriate, but hadn't known exactly to what extent. This all recently came to light and in a word... I am shocked, disgusted, and stunned. She molested him for several years, with the belief that as long as genitals did not touch it was 'okay' and 'not sexual.' Everything else was 'perfectly fine.'

 

We thankfully live on the other side of the country from this toxic whore, but what contact we do have (which is still rare) always sets off weeks of issues for us. My husband is seeking counselling to work through these issues, but it is still painful to deal with. I want nothing more to do with this woman ever again. I never want her to set foot into my house, be near my children, or ever THINK that she has a right to call herself a mother. There is a deep seething anger to think this woman could ABUSE her child, the little baby she gave birth to and was supposed to PROTECT AND LOVE. That she could be so selfish, so cowardly, and so DISGUSTING as to think it was okay to do those things with her son.

 

I'll slowly get over that anger, but not as long as it remains an issue. I try to keep the anger from showing to my husband, but sometimes it does get the better of me. He is unsure about breaking off all contact with his mother because, as he says, he keeps hoping that one day she will apologize and then be the loving mother she never was. I think it's a waste of his time and mental energy to keep clinging to that false hope. In all the years he and I have been married she's called to talk about random stuff NEVER. My family keeps in contact with, at the very least, a call once a week to catch up and see how we're all doing. And he wants to believe that this slime is going to one day say, "Oh gee! I should call my son and be a real mother to him!" It's just not going to happen. She believes she did nothing wrong, and until that changes, my husband is only destroying his life and our marriage by hoping she will be his mother.

 

I know that too will eventually pass, but I just need to rant and get this out. My family has been great through this, but I know they don't want to hear these issues every few days. I'm going to invest in some books about incest and the like in the hopes it will help me deal with all this better, but if anyone here has any advice or experiences to share, it would be most appreciated.

 

 

 

And to that lovely 'mother' in law of mine, there just aren't enough words to describe what a vile smear of sputum you are on this world. That you could molest your own son, pervert his young growing mind into believing that pleasuring you was a good thing to do, that he was a special little boy for making 'mommy' feel good... I could be really evil and wish you a slow and painful death, but knowing that you fear me, fear my husband, fear that WE KNOW what you did and that at any moment we can tell the rest of your family about it... yes, it's spiteful and wrong for me to chuckle and gloat in that knowledge, but you will carry that fear all your life. It is the least of what your sick, twisted, disgusting self deserves. But you will get your full due at the end, I am sure. I wonder if you will feel it was worth abusing your son for when it happens. Bitch.

[RecordProducer]

I was molested by the step-father so I know how it feels. However I could never imagine a mother doing it to her own son. I've heard of women doing it to young girls, but never to their own children. It's frightening to imagine the scenes. So if she didn't touch his genitals or he hers, what did she do?

 

I think he needs a good therapist to help him go through the pain and also realize that she will never be a good mother. Even if she says she is sorry soem day, obviously she isn't and wil never be in her heart. Using someone for personal sexual pleasure is far from doing "nothing wrong." She sounds very sick.

[Lil Honey]

I see that your husband already is seeking counseling and that's a good thing. I'm sure general details about molestation can be had through an online search. Your words convey the frustration and anger that are rightfully yours, but I hope that you will talk to someone as well so that it doesn't eat you up inside, ya know?

 

I could be really evil and wish you a slow and painful death

I'd be happy to wish that on her for you . . .