Has Covid 19 really kept couples social distancing from each other?

[d0nnivain]

People have to do what is best for themselves within reason.  Beaches are re-opening & I would love to go, but I won't.  

Even in the greater NYC area things are loosening up a bit.  If you have been diligent all this time they are saying small family gatherings of 6 -10 people are probably OK, especially if you are all outside & don't touch or share food. 

I was at the grocery store doing an in person shop on May 4 with a face mask & wipes to clean everything.  DH has done some curb side pick-ups but that is it.  I took a walk with a neighbor on Monday, staying 6 feet apart as we walked.  We see our neighbors outside from several feet away. 

At some point we're all going to have to go back out.  Most non-cohabitating couples I know shuffle back & forth.  Life goes on.  

 

[Gaeta]

Miranda561, I live in Province of Quebec in Canada. 

[Redhead14]

1 minute ago, miranda561 said:

For example another friend of mine travelled an hour on the train to spend time with her other half. When we've been advised not to use public transport.

That is a different scenario.  That is dumb.  If they wanted to be together during this time, they should have chosen one place or the other and hunkered down there.  How long have they been seeing each other?

[miranda561]

2 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

Exactly.  And on some level... it's impossible.  Am I supposed to tell my kids they have to go live out in the barn because I can't be close to them?  Am I supposed to tell my exW she can't have time with her kids because she had to go back to work? (That would be a trip into the courthouse again)  There are certain relationships that will maintain.  I don't get close to my folks because they are high risk... and I don't get coffee, or spend time doing hobbies with my close friends... because they were already separated from me. (We don't see each other for weeks at a time) 

The rules apply to everyone. You aren't exempt sorry. 

I mean there are people i would like to meet. But haven't done so.  

[thefooloftheyear]

11 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Go visit your dear old Mum and give her a virus that could kill her...
No-one has a clue if they are assymptomatically carrying the virus.
That is why social distancing is necessary and why it is really not a good idea to go visit older or vulnerable relatives.
Viruses don't' care about love or loneliness they just rub their hands in glee.

Yeah....or leave them to rot in a home, like a lot of people are doing...where all the people working there aren't doing any social distancing themselves...and where most of the people died..

I live in the worst area of the world in terms of cases and not one. of our elders got it.....ZERO....despite all; being regularly visited by their children...But none of our elders are in nursing homes..

Use your own judgement.....and let policymakers and fear decide the direction your life....

TFY

 

[miranda561]

5 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

That is a different scenario.  That is dumb.  If they wanted to be together during this time, they should have chosen one place or the other and hunkered down there.  How long have they been seeing each other?

I think its been a couple of months. She said she went out yesterday. But before then hadn't  seen anyone for weeks ( im guessing including him). And they live in different households 

[miranda561]

10 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Miranda561, I live in Province of Quebec in Canada. 

Oh i see. 

[miranda561]

2 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

"Germ circle", that's a good word for it. I know in Australia...there is an allowance for a limited amount of people coming and going from homes. Like 5 or something.

There was a woman I was kind of seeing (prior to the pandemic in the US) that works at a nail salon...but now...I may rethink seeing her as she's back in business at the salons.

Probably best. 

The person who asked me to meet up (its new) is in law enforcement. And that for me is a no. The amount of people he must be in contactn with.

Edited May 20, 2020 by miranda561

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

I think its been a couple of months. 

If their relationship doesn't survive a couple of months apart then they were not meant to be. Thousands of couples are forced apart for months each year and they make it just fine like military families. When I met my ex-husband he left for a 7 month tour Middle East right away. We made it just fine and back then there were no Internet so nowadays with facetime, and all the technology available I feel 2 months isn't that bad.

[miranda561]

1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

If their relationship doesn't survive a couple of months apart then they were not meant to be. Thousands of couples are forced apart for months each year and they make it just fine like military families. When I met my ex-husband he left for a 7 month tour Middle East right away. We made it just fine and back then there were no Internet so nowadays with facetime, and all the technology available I feel 2 months isn't that bad.

I do agree.

But its been a couple of months for the time being.

However this is going to be ongoing. It could be up to a year even who knows till the risk is gone. 

[Redhead14]

13 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

I think its been a couple of months. She said she went out yesterday. But before then hadn't  seen anyone for weeks ( im guessing including him). And they live in different households 

I wouldn't put myself at risk for someone I'd only been seeing for a couple of months.  Not worth it.  I don't know them well enough to trust that they are doing what should be done.

[Gaeta]

Miranda: Your friend and her bf need make an assessment of how many people they get in close contact with. You said your friend works from home so has no contact with anyone? About him? Why is she the only one driving there? Is it a health worker? Is he reliable? Example: my boyfriend and I went into confinement together. Once in a while he goes to his apartment to pick up papers, tools, what ever he may need. I trust him 100% that he does not approach anyone and he'll wear his mask if he needs to stop for gas. 

 

Edited May 20, 2020 by Gaeta

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

I wouldn't put myself at risk for someone I'd only been seeing for a couple of months.  Not worth it.  I don't know them well enough to trust that they are doing what should be done.

I think she meant her friend has not seen her bf in a couple of months. They've been dating under a year. 

[carhill]

One social distancing anecdote..... a female friend's husband who's worked in hospital operating rooms for about 20 years now, came down with an awful, for him unprecedented, case of the flu in early January causing him to take nearly a week off from work. She said once he started complaining of symptoms she ejected into the guest bedroom and kept her distance from him for two weeks at least and apparently has cut back contact and increased in-house sanitizing markedly since. As non-emergency surgeries were suspended for a few months, now just beginning to occur again, H has been working from home with only a few rotations into the facility. She's still apparently nervous about the whole deal. I always tell her she's young, healthy, as is he, don't chill the marriage over a virus. Viruses are all around us. He's been exposed to some of the most nasty stuff on the planet working in a hospital all those years, likely brought some home and they've still had normal lives. No need to change that now. 👍

[miranda561]

4 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

I wouldn't put myself at risk for someone I'd only been seeing for a couple of months.  Not worth it.  I don't know them well enough to trust that they are doing what should be done.

Well shes one of those types of women who once shes into someone. Nothing gets in her way. She will literally live in the guys pockets. Having said all that she did say its serious and theyve met each others families 

[miranda561]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Miranda: Your friend and her bf need make an assessment of how many people they get in close contact with. You said your friend works from home so has no contact with anyone? About him? Why is the the only one driving there? Is it a health worker? Is he reliable? Example: my boyfriend and I went into confinement together. Once in a while he goes to his apartment to pick up papers, tools, what ever he may need. I trust him 100% that he does not approach anyone and he'll wear his mask if he needs to stop for gas. 

 

I agree with everything you've  said.

I didnt want to come across as being judgemental so didnt ask her all those questions. 

Personally if i was to meet anyone i would try and get answers to all those questions 

[miranda561]

4 minutes ago, carhill said:

One social distancing anecdote..... a female friend's husband who's worked in hospital operating rooms for about 20 years now, came down with an awful, for him unprecedented, case of the flu in early January causing him to take nearly a week off from work. She said once he started complaining of symptoms she ejected into the guest bedroom and kept her distance from him for two weeks at least and apparently has cut back contact and increased in-house sanitizing markedly since. As non-emergency surgeries were suspended for a few months, now just beginning to occur again, H has been working from home with only a few rotations into the facility. She's still apparently nervous about the whole deal. I always tell her she's young, healthy, as is he, don't chill the marriage over a virus. Viruses are all around us. He's been exposed to some of the most nasty stuff on the planet working in a hospital all those years, likely brought some home and they've still had normal lives. No need to change that now. 👍

Covid is a relatively  unknown virus that has caused a world wide pandemic. The death  rate is pretty high..comparing  it to the flu as one example 

[FMW]

Reading so many posts here I've seen what, for me, are some contradictions in how individuals are handling the situation.  Some take a hard line on certain things that in my view seem a little extreme but are doing other things that I personally see as more risky.  

With the exception of the obvious and flagrant flaunting of the guidelines (large gatherings, no masks, etc), I think it's understandable that we all are handling things in different ways.  We've been given a lot of conflicting information for the past few months.  Add that to not knowing how long this will last, again, I think it's understandable that there are differences in opinion on how to proceed.

[carhill]

Yeah, I'm old and have been through four now starting with the 58 pandemic. The guy in question I'd tend to trust his judgement since he's worked in a germ filled environment for much of his adult life. He apparently didn't seem too worried about exposure, just typical safety precautions, his wife is more the germaphobe. My bet is he had an early version of -19. His wife tested negative last week but he apparently discounted the 50 buck test as insufficiently accurate.

14 minutes ago, miranda561 said:

Covid is a relatively  unknown virus that has caused a world wide pandemic. The death  rate is pretty high..comparing  it to the flu as one example 

 

[kendahke]

Just before this pandemic hit, I met a really nice man and we've been mainly talking on the phone... he's taken me to a few doctor's appointments--MRI's that required me being sedated.  While I wish we could go on a real date, the fact of the matter is: I don't know who has crowded his space uninvited, even if he is practicing social distancing.  Not everyone is or feels they should have to, as is evident by some of the responses on these boards. Plenty of stories abound of families all coming down with the virus and it taking off with some of them.

Right now, I'm working from home and I'm only going out to do grocery shopping and doctors appointments.  I'm fastidious with my hygiene and health because I'm on some immune-supressant drugs right now. I can't say the same for other people and I refuse to give the benefit of the doubt or trust blindly.  All of my family live well west of where I am and no one is in a position to stop their lives and come take care of me should I fall ill with this and quite frankly, I'm not ready to die.  Just like I wouldn't skate around on the edge of a high rise building, I'm not going to play fast and loose with my lungs.

Facetime/Zoom work to provide communication as well as seeing the other person.

This will eventually be handled through a vaccine and I can wait to physically be with someone until that day comes.  I'm not so hard up for sex that I'll kill myself through stupidity trying to get some.

Self discipline--it's a thing.

[FMW]

9 minutes ago, kendahke said:

he's taken me to a few doctor's appointments-

If you feel safe to be in an enclosed vehicle with him, why would say sitting out in your backyard and chatting be unacceptable for you?

Personally, if I had any immune problems I would definitely avoid being around anyone, I totally get that.  But since you're already exposed to him spending time outside together seems like a reasonable option.  I'm not challenging your decision to not see him, just curious about the thought process since I haven't had to deal with that.  

[Ruby Slippers]

My boyfriend is staying with me at my house, and early on, my mom let me know that she still wants me/us to visit her and my dad at their house whenever I want, so I do.

I haven't been as stringent as some, but I take reasonable precautions.

[Gaeta]

The thing is you can trust on knowing where you went (or not went) but you can never know about others. Example my brother and his wife are very observant of all the rules, she works from home now and by brother took off from construction. They talk about how they see no one and order groceries online etc etc untill one day I hear they let the 8 year old neighbor boy come and play with their son 🤯, this boy's mom a cop!! and works downtown our metropole! Sometimes you THINK you can trust people!

[Gr8fuln2020]

5 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

Didn't know whether to post it here or in the Covid 19, but either way, I guess you can relate. I have quite a few friends that are coupled up with someone, but don't live together. One that I know of they both live an hour away from each other, dated under a year, but had been dating prior to all this Covid stuff. She told me she drives to see him only (he doesn't drive to see her). She works from home, so no worries there.

Should they be social distancing? Do you know established couples, that live apart, that are seeing each other regardless of social distancing? I am thinking this Covid 19 won't stop established couples.

I know of a few that continue to see one another. Why not? As long as there is a mutual understanding of risk, safety, they should responsibly interact. If one or the other is not being responsible outside of their own interactions, that is a problem. But, should they social distance? I don't see this is anything different from interacting with my own family and siblings. I know that they are being safe, so we do get together every once in a while, but that frequency has definitely been lowered because of COVID. 

[thefooloftheyear]

Just dont touch anyone's balls.....its ok to kick them though....