NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 I can't get him off my mind does anyone have any advice ? Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Call him. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Cool username. They'll never leave your mind but it just gets easier with time when you start seeing other people. That's been my experience. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 minute ago, salparadise said: Call him. I can't I am married and never been in this position before I have known him 24 years and the last time I seen him he Left me with love you I am confused . Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 6 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Cool username. They'll never leave your mind but it just gets easier with time when you start seeing other people. That's been my experience. I need to know if this true love . Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, NonSignificantAnon said: I need to know if this true love . Trust me, you'll know. It's a gut feeling you can't shake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 1 minute ago, The Outlaw said: Trust me, you'll know. It's a gut feeling you can't shake. What you mean ?I have been married for 30 years I have a awesome husband who I know who loves me but this man I have known 24 years and I always felt comfortable around him I thought it was me I am still shocked . Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, NonSignificantAnon said: What you mean ?I have been married for 30 years I have a awesome husband who I know who loves me but this man I have known 24 years and I always felt comfortable around him I thought it was me I am still shocked . If you've known him for that long, I'd say it's a given that he felt the same way. But like I said, you'll know. Do what you will but I'd try to put it behind me if it were me. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 12 minutes ago, NonSignificantAnon said: I can't I am married and never been in this position before I have known him 24 years and the last time I seen him he Left me with love you I am confused . I need to know if this true love . Uh oh, we've got a live one. Allow me to tell you what you're about to hear; standard LS advice –– divorce your husband so he can find someone perfect, because he deserves better. And confess. Lots of believers in the catharsis of confession. They'll be along soon. Personally, I think you need to get into counseling. It's opportunity cost. Anytime you make a choice you gain what you choose and give up the other options you did not choose. You have to accept that or it will drive you nuts. If your marriage is good then you need to accept that this is what you chose and invest in it fully instead of looking backward. Easier said than done of course. Counseling can probably help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 3 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: If you've known him for that long, I'd say it's a given that he felt the same way. But like I said, you'll know. Do what you will but I'd try to put it behind me if it were me. That's the hard part its controlling my life and I cant stop thinking of him I have tried everything Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, NonSignificantAnon said: That's the hard part its controlling my life and I cant stop thinking of him I have tried everything Trust me, I know the feeling. There was somebody I never quite forgot from my own life twenty years ago that I still think about but she herself is married. Maybe even the one that got away. I'll never know. But personally speaking, it just got easier - WAY easier with time. And hopefully it will for you too. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 You said you've been married for 30 years, and you've known this person for 24. You call him a romantic interest. Did you have an affair? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, salparadise said: You said you've been married for 30 years, and you've known this person for 24. You call him a romantic interest. Did you have an affair? Sorry this is all new to me someone else wrote that romantic interest not me they where wording it wrong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) 18 minutes ago, NonSignificantAnon said: I have been married for 30 years I have a awesome husband who I know who loves me This man who says he loves you, if that was true and you were to act on it would it be worth the price of your marriage? Edited May 21, 2020 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Trust me, I know the feeling. There was somebody I never quite forgot from my own life twenty years ago that I still think about but she herself is married. Maybe even the one that got away. I'll never know. But personally speaking, it just got easier - WAY easier with time. And hopefully it will for you too. It's been almost a year in Aug since I seen him I honestly was shocked when he mumble love you as I was leaving with my husband in the room but luckily he didn't catch on I would love to know why he told me this he has been my doctor for years . Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, BaileyB said: This man who says he loves you, if that was true and you were to act on it would it be worth the price of your marriage? I have tried to think of everything . Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Just now, NonSignificantAnon said: It's been almost a year in Aug since I seen him I honestly was shocked when he mumble love you as I was leaving with my husband in the room but luckily he didn't catch on I would love to know why he told me this he has been my doctor for years . He shouldn't have even said that. It's best to just let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 My guess is you've bend love you into I love you. I a guy and I've said love you to good friends both male and female. Couple that with the fact he said it where your husband could and probably did hear it I just believe it not his confession of romantic interest. Unrequited...just avoid the dude and enjoy your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NonSignificantAnon Posted May 21, 2020 Author Share Posted May 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: He shouldn't have even said that. It's best to just let it go. I did have feelings for him years ago when he delivered my son but gave it up and stayed away for 10 years then when I went back he act like we never knew each other I was pregnant again and he told me to let this be my last one so I took that as he didn't want me there so I went to another doctor .After that I stayed away 8 years thinking the feelings where gone he wouldn't even look at me so I thought he forgot everything . So this time I went back for my pap because he is a awesome doctor this time he was acting totally different that's why I am confused . Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 13 minutes ago, NonSignificantAnon said: I honestly was shocked when he mumble love you as I was leaving with my husband in the room. I would love to know why he told me this he has been my doctor for years . Ok, this crosses all kinds of inappropriate boundaries - friends with your physician, he says love you to a patient... not appropriate behavior by any standard. 3 minutes ago, DKT3 said: My guess is you've bend love you into I love you. I a guy and I've said love you to good friends both male and female. Couple that with the fact he said it where your husband could and probably did hear it I just believe it not his confession of romantic interest. I totally agree. “Got to run, love you” is very different than “I love you.” One is an expression, the other is an expression of love. I think you have taken a greeting and turned it into so much more than was intended... Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 Whatever the case may actually be, it isn’t worth potentially flushing 30 years of marriage down the toilet. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 6 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Whatever the case may actually be, it isn’t worth potentially flushing 30 years of marriage down the toilet. My guess is yes. She seems obsessed with him and has for most of her marriage. Hopefully she doesn't but she would absolutely blow up her marriage for a shot with her fantasy man. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 (edited) 12 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Whatever the case may actually be, it isn’t worth potentially flushing 30 years of marriage down the toilet. Or for him, his professional career. Medical colleges don’t generally approve of physicians engaging in inappropriate personal relationships with patients. Edited May 21, 2020 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 6 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Or for him, his professional career. Medical colleges don’t generally approve of physicians engaging in inappropriate relationships with patients. True. But she’s just going to have to let this go. It’s for the best in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 21, 2020 Share Posted May 21, 2020 So basically, you have crushing on this man for years and when he said “love you” on his way out the door, you took that as your opportunity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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