Future2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 Hello, A couple of weeks ago I went on a date with a woman. She is in her twenties and I am somewhere between 30-35 years old. Before we met she texted me the following: Are you sure you want to meet me? I have lots of scars and I am fat. I have warned you. I went on a date with her and I really liked her and I want to continue dating her. After a couple of days she told me that she was struggelig with depression. She said she said that she was "far down and the she thought that it would not be good to wake up tomorrow." Me: If you have suicide thoughts you should contact the emergency room. Her: I am okay. Me. It is great to hear that you do not have suicide thoughts. She: I dont know. The day after she applogised for last night. After a cuple of days I asked her how serious her depression is and she replied that it was not serious. However, I think that she just downplays her depression so that she seems more attractive to me. As I think that she sensed that it made me less interested in her after she told me that "she did not want to wake up" some days earlier. Both her and I are interested in having two kids in the future. How depressed do you think that this woman is? If I get her pregnant with two children can her depression be worse and can her depression affect the future childeren? Thank you very much for answering. Have a great day. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) People who have issues and do not address them with therapy, should be out. TBH she just has low self esteem and she was fishing for compliments to feel better. Compliments would only enable more of this behavior. Tell her tho you like her, she should spend her energy on herself and her mental health before trying to find someone to date. Edited May 23, 2020 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Future2020 Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, smackie9 said: People who have issues and do not address them with therapy, should be out. TBH she just has low self esteem and she was fishing for compliments to feel better. Compliments would only enable more of this behavior. Tell her tho you like her, she should spend her energy on herself and her mental health before trying to find someone to date. Thanks for the input. What do the rest of you guys think? Also, how depressed do you think that this woman is? Edited May 23, 2020 by Future2020 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 You don't state how long you have known her and that would be important. Depression can run in a cycle so you can't diagnose anyone from a short time knowing them. If you two were talking about the future vis-a-vis children, then that's very positive as most deeply depressed people cannot even imagine the rest of the day. If you can convince her to get some chemical help from the doctor, I'm pretty confident that they can find the right medication that will keep her on an even keel. Having kids can be a blood chemistry cocktail for someone already out of whack so you seek medical advice for that scenario. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Future2020 said: No one can accurately tell you how depressed she is. She sounded very depressed in that moment and she at least has a history of depression and self-harm by her own account. Whether or not you should continue to date her is entirely up to you. I have dated depressed men, some on medication and some not, and they aren't all the same. In some cases, bouts of depression impacted our relationship, some not. Only way you can really know the extent of it is to get to know her. You don't and you're already planning out how many kids ya'll are going to have? Edited May 23, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I'm telling you right now, she will be like this for the rest of her life. She will need to maintain it with good health, medication, therapy and regular visits to a doctor. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Future2020 Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 19 hours ago, schlumpy said: You don't state how long you have known her and that would be important. Depression can run in a cycle so you can't diagnose anyone from a short time knowing them. If you two were talking about the future vis-a-vis children, then that's very positive as most deeply depressed people cannot even imagine the rest of the day. If you can convince her to get some chemical help from the doctor, I'm pretty confident that they can find the right medication that will keep her on an even keel. Having kids can be a blood chemistry cocktail for someone already out of whack so you seek medical advice for that scenario. Thank you for valuable input guys. I have known her in less than 25 days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Future2020 Posted May 24, 2020 Author Share Posted May 24, 2020 19 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: No one can accurately tell you how depressed she is. She sounded very depressed in that moment and she at least has a history of depression and self-harm by her own account. Whether or not you should continue to date her is entirely up to you. I have dated depressed men, some on medication and some not, and they aren't all the same. In some cases, bouts of depression impacted our relationship, some not. Only way you can really know the extent of it is to get to know her. You don't and you're already planning out how many kids ya'll are going to have? Yes, we have both talked about having two kids. I guess that is kind of early to plan on a first date, but thats just what we did hehe. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted June 5, 2020 Share Posted June 5, 2020 Why on earth are you talking about "getting her pregnant with 2 kids" when you haven't even known her a month yet?!?! Dude, slow your roll. She's got issues that aren't going away any time soon. Can you handle this for the rest of your life? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Why are you talking about having kids with someone you have gone on one date with???? That is just ridiculous. That's not normal behavior. It's impossible for us to tell you how depressed this woman is just from a few words on a post. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts