Not sure what the right thing to do is here....

[lonelyplanetmoon]

I agree it is time to unfriend and block him.

He is not a dependable long term partner.
keep feeling that anger about how he treated you to help you move on.
You definitely deserve better!

[Uptown182]

So my ex bf dumped me about 2 months ago without much of an explanation.  We were together for 7 months.  We still follow each other on social media.  I was blindsided by the breakup so I took it really hard but I’m much better now, and realize this guy was no good for me.

Today he posted that he had gotten into a bad car accident, he seems to be ok (I assume since he’s posting it on social media, which is weird in and of itself).  Anyway, I’m not sure if I should just comment and say I hope he’s ok, or just leave it alone?  I feel like I’m in a tough place, if I don’t say anything I’m a b*tch and if I do I look like a sucker.  
 

let me just be clear there’s no agenda here, I don’t want him, I’m moving on.  I’m actually more concerned that he might take me commenting as an invitation to message me or something since he’s been “liking” my social media posts lately.

 

 

[Under The Radar]

I followed your previous thread that detailed the painful ghosting your ex boyfriend imposed on your life during a worldwide pandemic.  It was cruel the way he just dropped off the radar after a 7 month relationship.  You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.  He abandoned you without any discussion or foreshadowing as to why the relationship would be coming to an end.  This is after telling you he loves you and wants you in his life.  This caused you to question everything about the relationship and what must have happened for him to simply disappear so suddenly?  Again, during a national emergency when everyone is clamoring to reach out to loved ones and make phone calls to see if the people they care about are ok.  He couldn't even respond to your text messages asking what is going on.  Why have you not responded to me if you love and care about me?  That valid question was continually ignored. 

So, my advice to you is leave it alone.  You owe it to yourself to move on; he is undeserving of your time at this point.  I am sorry he was in a car accident, but it appears he will be ok.  He literally, and metaphorically, left you for dead during a national emergency.  Not reaching out to him does not make you a b*tch at all.  What reaching out would do is possibly open the door for him to reach out to you.  This would be bad because it will slow down your healing process.  He met your pleas for communication with silence when you were confused and suffering.  Again, he is not deserving of your time and attention moving forward.  

If this had been a normal breakup, where he spoke to you about ending the relationship, that would be another matter.  I would say it's perfectly fine to ask if he is ok and wish him well.  However, that did not happen.  He met your texts and phone calls with nothing but silence.  I am sorry for the pain that caused you during these challenging times.  Continue to heal and take care of yourself.  A man who truly cares for you will make the time for you in their life.  You will not be simply dismissed with no explanation. 

Edited May 24, 2020 by Training Revelations

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

Today he posted that he had gotten into a bad car accident, he seems to be ok (I assume since he’s posting it on social media, which is weird in and of itself).  Anyway, I’m not sure if I should just comment and say I hope he’s ok, or just leave it alone?  I feel like I’m in a tough place, if I don’t say anything I’m a b*tch and if I do I look like a sucker.  

I remember your thread about this man. 

Given how he ghosted you, the harsh truth is that I don't think he much cares how you respond (or don't.) 

Don't reopen this wound. He didn't care enough to end things with your respectfully, so I wouldn't extend the same care for someone who's well enough to be posting about his accident on social media. 

[Realitysux]

3 hours ago, Under.The.Radar said:

I followed your previous thread that detailed the painful ghosting your ex boyfriend imposed on your life during a worldwide pandemic.  It was cruel the way he just dropped off the radar after a 7 month relationship.  You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.  He abandoned you without any discussion or foreshadowing as to why the relationship would be coming to an end.  This is after telling you he loves you and wants you in his life.  This caused you to question everything about the relationship and what must have happened for him to simply disappear so suddenly?  Again, during a national emergency when everyone is clamoring to reach out to loved ones and make phone calls to see if the people they care about are ok.  He couldn't even respond to your text messages asking what is going on.  Why have you not responded to me if you love and care about me?  That valid question was continually ignored. 

So, my advice to you is leave it alone.  You owe it to yourself to move on; he is undeserving of your time at this point.  I am sorry he was in a car accident, but it appears he will be ok.  He literally, and metaphorically, left you for dead during a national emergency.  Not reaching out to him does not make you a b*tch at all.  What reaching out would do is possibly open the door for him to reach out to you.  This would be bad because it will slow down your healing process.  He met your pleas for communication with silence when you were confused and suffering.  Again, he is not deserving of your time and attention moving forward.  

If this had been a normal breakup, where he spoke to you about ending the relationship, that would be another matter.  I would say it's perfectly fine to ask if he is ok and wish him well.  However, that did not happen.  He met your texts and phone calls with nothing but silence.  I am sorry for the pain that caused you during these challenging times.  Continue to heal and take care of yourself.  A man who truly cares for you will make the time for you in their life.  You will not be simply dismissed with no explanation. 

Well said!

[schlumpy]

I believe you when you say it's not an effort to get him back. I suspect it's more like a reflex because he was someone close with a dash of societal mores.

I suggest ignore the reflex. It's no reflection on you. 

[Uptown182]

Ok thanks everyone! You guys confirmed to me I should not reach out, which is what I feel I should do as well.  

[Uptown182]

4 hours ago, Under.The.Radar said:

I followed your previous thread that detailed the painful ghosting your ex boyfriend imposed on your life during a worldwide pandemic.  It was cruel the way he just dropped off the radar after a 7 month relationship.  You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.  He abandoned you without any discussion or foreshadowing as to why the relationship would be coming to an end.  This is after telling you he loves you and wants you in his life.  This caused you to question everything about the relationship and what must have happened for him to simply disappear so suddenly?  Again, during a national emergency when everyone is clamoring to reach out to loved ones and make phone calls to see if the people they care about are ok.  He couldn't even respond to your text messages asking what is going on.  Why have you not responded to me if you love and care about me?  That valid question was continually ignored. 

So, my advice to you is leave it alone.  You owe it to yourself to move on; he is undeserving of your time at this point.  I am sorry he was in a car accident, but it appears he will be ok.  He literally, and metaphorically, left you for dead during a national emergency.  Not reaching out to him does not make you a b*tch at all.  What reaching out would do is possibly open the door for him to reach out to you.  This would be bad because it will slow down your healing process.  He met your pleas for communication with silence when you were confused and suffering.  Again, he is not deserving of your time and attention moving forward.  

If this had been a normal breakup, where he spoke to you about ending the relationship, that would be another matter.  I would say it's perfectly fine to ask if he is ok and wish him well.  However, that did not happen.  He met your texts and phone calls with nothing but silence.  I am sorry for the pain that caused you during these challenging times.  Continue to heal and take care of yourself.  A man who truly cares for you will make the time for you in their life.  You will not be simply dismissed with no explanation. 

Agreed!  No need to reach out, thanks

[Uptown182]

So my ex broke up with me about 2.5 months ago.  I posted about it on here, long story short it was more of a ghosting I’d say (even though I truly believe in his head he thinks he legitimately broke up with me).  He basically texted me saying he promised his ex wife he wouldn’t see anyone during quarantine otherwise he wouldn’t be able to see his kids.  I called him once I got the text, we had a quick conversation in which I agreed with his ex since the virus was getting pretty bad in our area at the time and that was it, never heard from him again.  I didn’t think this was a breakup, just thought we wouldn’t physically see each other but that we would still speak on the phone and stuff.  We were together for 7 months, I was devastated and heartbroken.  I never contacted him again other than a short text the next day saying that I loved him and hoped he was ok, since I didn’t think we were broken up and just thought he might’ve needed some space or was going through something.  He never responded so I got the picture. 
 

I’d say I’ve been doing pretty well as more time goes by.  I still miss him at times but know this is for the best.  The thing that still gets me is the way he ended it, I believe he made that promise to his ex wife but in my gut I don’t believe that’s why he ended it.  I sometimes drive myself crazy trying to figure out if he left me to go back to his ex gf, if it was someone new (but we were in the middle of a pandemic so I doubt that), or if started up with a female friend of his that I knew.   I can’t say for sure he left me for someone else but knowing the way he was I don’t think he’d leave a relationship unless he had someone else lined up.  We have no mutual friends so I kinda have to accept that I’ll never know.  He also hasn’t been active on the dating sites since we started dating so that leads me to believe he has someone.  
 

About a month ago he “liked” a few of my pics on social media, but I didn’t react and actually thought he had some nerve liking anything given the way he ended things.  Then Memorial Day weekend he had gotten into a car accident which he posted about on social media.  Lots of people were commenting asking him if he was ok which he said he was, I never commented or reached out and I’m not going to lie I felt a bit guilty about that which is crazy!! 
 

I guess I just had to vent and get this off my chest.  I really don’t obsess this much, but sometimes when I’m alone with my thoughts it just gets to me.  He told me he loved me and led me to believe he wanted a future with me so this whole ordeal has been a tough pill to swallow because I really fell for him. 

[Uptown182]

I’m not sure why my post keeps getting moved or what I have to do to not have it consolidated to an old post, but here’s another try:
 

So my ex broke up with me about 2.5 months ago.  Long story short it was more of a ghosting I’d say (even though I truly believe in his head he thinks he legitimately broke up with me).  He basically texted me saying he promised his ex wife he wouldn’t see anyone during quarantine otherwise he wouldn’t be able to see his kids.  I called him once I got the text, we had a quick conversation in which I agreed with his ex since the virus was getting pretty bad in our area at the time and that was it, never heard from him again.  I didn’t think this was a breakup, just thought we wouldn’t physically see each other but that we would still speak on the phone and stuff.  We were together for 7 months, I was devastated and heartbroken.  I never contacted him again other than a short text the next day saying that I loved him and hoped he was ok, since I didn’t think we were broken up and just thought he might’ve needed some space or was going through something.  He never responded so I got the picture. 
 

I’d say I’ve been doing pretty well as more time goes by.  I still miss him at times but know this is for the best.  The thing that still gets me is the way he ended it, I believe he made that promise to his ex wife but in my gut I don’t believe that’s why he ended it.  I sometimes drive myself crazy trying to figure out if he left me to go back to his ex gf, if it was someone new (but we were in the middle of a pandemic so I doubt that), or if started up with a female friend of his that I knew.   I can’t say for sure he left me for someone else but knowing the way he was I don’t think he’d leave a relationship unless he had someone else lined up.  We have no mutual friends so I kinda have to accept that I’ll never know.  He also hasn’t been active on the dating sites since we started dating so that leads me to believe he has someone.  
 

About a month ago he “liked” a few of my pics on social media, but I didn’t react and actually thought he had some nerve liking anything given the way he ended things.  Then Memorial Day weekend he had gotten into a car accident which he posted about on social media.  Lots of people were commenting asking him if he was ok which he said he was, I never commented or reached out and I’m not going to lie I felt a bit guilty about that which is crazy!! 
 

I guess I just had to vent and get this off my chest.  I really don’t obsess this much, but sometimes when I’m alone with my thoughts it just gets to me.  He told me he loved me and led me to believe he wanted a future with me so this whole ordeal has been a tough pill to swallow because I really fell for him. 

[kendahke]

23 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

I’m not sure why my post keeps getting moved or what I have to do to not have it consolidated to an old post, but here’s another try:

if you start new posts talking about the same thing, the mods are going to consolidate the threads.

[Uptown182]

Update:

He texted me in the early evening Thursday 3 months after his disappearing act, saying he just wanted me to know he was very sorry for the way he acted and that I’m one of the most amazing, honest and beautiful people he’s ever known.  He then followed up with another text saying he’s not saying that to try to get back together with me, he justwants me to know that.  

[kendahke]

37 minutes ago, Uptown182 said:

Update:

He texted me in the early evening Thursday 3 months after his disappearing act, saying he just wanted me to know he was very sorry for the way he acted and that I’m one of the most amazing, honest and beautiful people he’s ever known.  He then followed up with another text saying he’s not saying that to try to get back together with me, he justwants me to know that.  

He's taking your temperature to see if he can get a booty call out of you. Of course he's going to say that's not what he's doing. And BTW--you don't need him telling you what you already know about yourself.

Edited July 4, 2020 by kendahke