Not sure what the right thing to do is here....

[smackie9]

you know what I meant...jeeez

[Uptown182]

2 hours ago, smackie9 said:

OP it's not over....sounds to me he's feeling really bad he has to stop seeing you because of the ex's request. Remember guys would rather hide or sweep things under the rug than have to deal with feelings or whatever. The stress is getting to him by the sounds of it. Give him his space. Relax, send a message or two of something upbeat, and calming. Keep positive.

Not sure if you saw my update but Thursday evening I sent him a text saying I loved him and hoped he was doing ok...he never responded.

[Uptown182]

8 hours ago, LynneVicious said:

Ugh I’m sorry OP. No caring bf would ignore you when you tell him you love him. Have you heard from him at all?

 

my feeling that since he’s only been divorced for a year and a half, he’s ‘confused’. And confused means he may still have feelings for the ex wife, or maybe he is lamenting the loss of the family unit during this pandemic, where he would feel better if his family was together and he could protect them. 
 

Either way, him ignoring you is kind of a deal breaker. 

I have not heard from him at all

[ExpatInItaly]

No word for days? Something's wrong. 

I would first try to rule out the possibility that he's gotten much sicker and needed medical attention. Do you know if he's been online at all?

If he's confirmed to be physically okay, then I'm sorry to say that he's probably done with the relationship and doesn't yet have the stones to come out and tell you. 

[Uptown182]

39 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

No word for days? Something's wrong. 

I would first try to rule out the possibility that he's gotten much sicker and needed medical attention. Do you know if he's been online at all?

If he's confirmed to be physically okay, then I'm sorry to say that he's probably done with the relationship and doesn't yet have the stones to come out and tell you. 

Yes he’s ok, he’s been active on social media.  He posted photos of his kids yesterday 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 minutes ago, Uptown182 said:

Yes he’s ok, he’s been active on social media.  He posted photos of his kids yesterday 

Wow. I'm sorry, Uptown. 

I would be so turned off by his complete radio silence that I don't think I would really want to hear from him anymore. Has he ever gone silent like this before?

[Uptown182]

17 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Wow. I'm sorry, Uptown. 

I would be so turned off by his complete radio silence that I don't think I would really want to hear from him anymore. Has he ever gone silent like this before?

I am turned off, I don’t want to be with him now but I still can’t believe he can dispose of me just like that.

No he’s never done this before.

[smackie9]

18 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

Not sure if you saw my update but Thursday evening I sent him a text saying I loved him and hoped he was doing ok...he never responded.

OK then you properly end it yourself. Call him, not text. If he doesn't answer, then send a brief text that you can't do this anymore with the lack of communication and that it seems he feels this relationship is not worth a simple follow up text. Wish him luck.

[simpycurious]

7 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

I am turned off, I don’t want to be with him now but I still can’t believe he can dispose of me just like that.

No he’s never done this before.

You said yourself Uptown...."I am turned off"...........you made up your mind and it's probably for the best in the long run.  

[Uptown182]

28 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

OK then you properly end it yourself. Call him, not text. If he doesn't answer, then send a brief text that you can't do this anymore with the lack of communication and that it seems he feels this relationship is not worth a simple follow up text. Wish him luck.

I don’t see the point in sending another text to end it, feel like that’s just beating a dead horse at this point.  
 

I am very hurt and heartbroken but I refuse to ever contact him again.  I still am in disbelief that he’s done this to me, I trusted him and that’s not easy for me.  
 

All those times he told me he loved and cared about me, were lies and that’s a difficult thing to come to terms with right now

Edited April 6, 2020 by Uptown182

[hippychick3]

I don't think you should call him or text him ever again. He is no longer worth your time. He showed his true character by ignoring you like he did. What a crappy way to treat someone who you supposedly love. He is a coward. It's better to find out now rather than later his true colors. Let yourself grieve and move on without giving him the another minute of your energy or time. He doesn't deserve a phone call from you at this point. 

[preraph]

I bet anything he's living back with his wife either at hers or his place so he doesn't want her to see him communicating with you.  Unless she's remarried of course.  I bet they got back together (maybe never really quit) over this crisis.  Anyway, he's not even answering you so he's definitely crossed the line.  You need to just be done with him.  

[Uptown182]

13 minutes ago, preraph said:

I bet anything he's living back with his wife either at hers or his place so he doesn't want her to see him communicating with you.  Unless she's remarried of course.  I bet they got back together (maybe never really quit) over this crisis.  Anyway, he's not even answering you so he's definitely crossed the line.  You need to just be done with him.  

Funny you say that cause I had the same feeling.  I have a feeling he’s staying w her during this crisis.  She’s not remarried and isn’t seeing anyone either.  

I don’t believe he’s in love with her, but I wouldn’t put it past him to get back together with her for the sake of his children.  

[stillafool]

 

17 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

 

 

 

my feeling that since he’s only been divorced for a year and a half, he’s ‘confused’. And confused means he may still have feelings for the ex wife, or maybe he is lamenting the loss of the family unit during this pandemic, where he would feel better if his family was together and he could protect them. 

^^^This!  I see a lot of people are re-coupling because of this pandemic.  They think it's the end of the world.

Edited April 6, 2020 by stillafool

[Uptown182]

4 hours ago, stillafool said:

 

^^^This!  I see a lot of people are re-coupling because of this pandemic.  They think it's the end of the world.

Yea I can see that happening.  

[ExpatInItaly]

13 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

Funny you say that cause I had the same feeling.  I have a feeling he’s staying w her during this crisis.  She’s not remarried and isn’t seeing anyone either.  

You might have hit the nail right on the head there, Uptown. 

What a jerk completely ignoring you. You've just learned who this guy really is. 

[Fletch Lives]

How long was the man married and how long has he been divorced?

[simpycurious]

16 hours ago, stillafool said:

 

^^^This!  I see a lot of people are re-coupling because of this pandemic.  They think it's the end of the world.

Also, LOTS of people reaching out that maybe you were once close with during this crisis.  There has got to be some sort of diagnosed behavior in why people do that.

[Uptown182]

1 hour ago, Fletch Lives said:

How long was the man married and how long has he been divorced?

He was married for 17 years, divorced a year and a half

[poppyfields]

10 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

Also, LOTS of people reaching out that maybe you were once close with during this crisis.  There has got to be some sort of diagnosed behavior in why people do that.

I'm doing that!  And old friends are reaching out to reconnect with me too.

Not sure about diagnosed behaviour, perhaps it just means we're caring, compassionate people who realize life is short, and good friends are hard to come by and should be cherished. 

Crisis and tragedy tend to bring people closer together.  

Edited April 7, 2020 by poppyfields

[Fletch Lives]

22 hours ago, Uptown182 said:

He was married for 17 years, divorced a year and a half

 - He's on the rebound. It will take him 3 to 4.5 years to get over the ex and to be ready to love another again.

[elaine567]

People rarely get over 17 year marriages in an instant.
Looking for "love" from such a man is a big ask.
My guess he liked the sex/companionship with you, but in a lockdown he isn't interested in making conversations with you to keep things going, and yes he may indeed have gone to stay with his wife and kids to minimise the risks.
Why did they split?
 

[Uptown182]

18 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

People rarely get over 17 year marriages in an instant.
Looking for "love" from such a man is a big ask.
My guess he liked the sex/companionship with you, but in a lockdown he isn't interested in making conversations with you to keep things going, and yes he may indeed have gone to stay with his wife and kids to minimise the risks.
Why did they split?
 

He claimed he wasn’t happy the last 6 years in the marriage and was only staying for the kids.  He also said him and his ex stopped being intimate the last 6 years as well.  He was the one who wanted the divorce.

 

He was the one who always told me he loved me, and how everything just felt so right with me.  I don’t believe he was in love with his ex wife but I do believe he wasn’t over that marriage, if that makes any sense.

still doesn’t excuse how he just ghosted the way he did after 7 months of what he called a “serious” relationship.  

Edited April 8, 2020 by Uptown182

[Malin889]

This makes sense why he didn’t introduce you to the kids yet. And honestly it’s not you, it’s him. He’s not ready to be in a new relationship. But he should be a man and end it in a gentlemanly way, not ignore you. Sorry this happened to you.

Edited April 8, 2020 by Malin889

[elaine567]

We have had a lot of men here in sexless marriages and whilst one stock answer given by other posters is for him to find sex elsewhere.
Forget the wife, go find some other woman, or even pay for it. 
But whilst many men do want sex,  they often just want sex with their wives, they want her to want him again... they don't really want some other woman...