knowing a person

[growingpain]

hi, i am very naive in the dating department, and this isboard great. ok here is my question.

 

what are the important things you should get to know about the person you are interested in before getting serious?

 

things like religious view, affiliation; hobbies, things that she likes to do, introvert/extrovert, sex before or after marriage, what they think about the value of a family...

 

should you even worry too much about these while you are dating?

 

gp

[Tony T]

I think you are very wise to get to know someone as much as possible before getting serious. As a matter of fact, despite how often it's actually neglected, it's downright insane not to get to know somebody pretty well before that time. Even after you decide to get serious, you should still discover more and more. People are often inclined to hide or hold back important negative information about themselves or their past when they're trying to impress a postential love interest.

 

The questions you posed in your post are excellent. But little by little, you have to observe and learn all kinds of things about the person you are seeing. That's really the purpose of dating.

 

And even after you get to know them, there is always a gamble because people do change...sometimes for the better...sometimes for the worse.

 

As for yourself, you should never reveal everything about yourself. Leave some mystery on the table. That is the stuff of incredible, passionate romance. Mystery, yes, mystery!!!

[WGirl]

I think it depends on what type of relationship you are looking for and what your value system is. If religion is important to you, then you should find out what faith your dating interest is. I think these are important questions for anyone looking for a long-term relationship or marriage. Many people stay together for years and then realize they are incompatible in one or more very important areas. If you are looking to get serious, these are things you should find out fairly early on.

hi, i am very naive in the dating department, and this isboard great. ok here is my question.

 

what are the important things you should get to know about the person you are interested in before getting serious? things like religious view, affiliation; hobbies, things that she likes to do, introvert/extrovert, sex before or after marriage, what they think about the value of a family... should you even worry too much about these while you are dating? gp

[chick]

i don't think minor issues would cause a huge problem if you don't intend to get serious with someone, but things like religion, sex, family values etc. may prove to be a problem, should you both have different viewpoints, in a serious relationship. having different hobbies, social interests etc. keeps things interesting, so while it's good to have things in common, it's also good to have different interests in some areas of the relationship. i think it's best to suss out important issues that may cause conflict earlier on in a relationship,such as religion, family values, sex, background, children etc. it's easy to compromise hobbies, social interests and the like, but you can't argue issues such as religion, for example, with someone has strong morals and values and has been brought up with certain beliefs.

[June]

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i don't think minor issues would cause a huge problem if you don't intend to get serious with someone, but things like religion, sex, family values etc. may prove to be a problem, should you both have different viewpoints, in a serious relationship. having different hobbies, social interests etc. keeps things interesting, so while it's good to have things in common, it's also good to have different interests in some areas of the relationship. i think it's best to suss out important issues that may cause conflict earlier on in a relationship,such as religion, family values, sex, background, children etc. it's easy to compromise hobbies, social interests and the like, but you can't argue issues such as religion, for example, with someone has strong morals and values and has been brought up with certain beliefs.