Dealing with emotional abuse that happened years ago

[purplesoccer34]

About 10 years ago, I became friends (I guess somewhat reluctantly) with a guy. Initially he was overly persistent and just generally came off as creepy to me so I avoided all interactions with him. A couple years after that, he reached out to me again and this time, the interactions were a bit more normal. I didn't actively seek a friendship with him, but we just talked more and more, and I started opening up to him. 

Initially, he was kind and supportive during the tough times I went through in my life. But some time after that, he went through a tough time himself and started criticizing me for every little thing. He said things like "No man will never like you. He'll be attracted to you initially but once he finds out your true personality, he'll run away," and "Your friends don't know you the way I do. Once they find out who you really are, they'll run away too." He told me that certain parts of my appearance are ugly. He criticized the way I dressed. He told me that I have no ambition and will never amount to anything in life. He told me that my parents were failures at raising me, and that they raised me to be a spoiled brat. That's just the beginning of everything he said.

After he said all of this, I blocked him asap. But a year later, he found a way to contact me again. He apologized for everything he had said, that he was too hard on me, and that I was a good person deep down. I accepted his apology and we became friends again. For a couple of years, everything was fine but once I started opening up to him again the criticism started coming. It wasn't as bad as the first time, but also because I never let it get that far. Once I sensed the slightest hint of it, I blocked him once again from everything I could think of. 

I've now made sure that he has no way of contacting me. It's been a year since we have spoken, and I have no reason to believe he will contact me again. 

He made all of these statements to me something like 7 years ago, but they still affect me to this day. I think about them from time to time, and still feel really angry. Moreover, he always criticized my parents--probably more than he criticized me. He believed that they were responsible for all of my flaws. This makes me even angrier because even though my parents were not perfect, they were always supportive of me. 

I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope with this. I'm in a much better place in my life now than I was when he said those things to me, but I still think about it a lot. Would counseling help? 

[Realitysux]

10 minutes ago, purplesoccer34 said:

About 10 years ago, I became friends (I guess somewhat reluctantly) with a guy. Initially he was overly persistent and just generally came off as creepy to me so I avoided all interactions with him. A couple years after that, he reached out to me again and this time, the interactions were a bit more normal. I didn't actively seek a friendship with him, but we just talked more and more, and I started opening up to him. 

Initially, he was kind and supportive during the tough times I went through in my life. But some time after that, he went through a tough time himself and started criticizing me for every little thing. He said things like "No man will never like you. He'll be attracted to you initially but once he finds out your true personality, he'll run away," and "Your friends don't know you the way I do. Once they find out who you really are, they'll run away too." He told me that certain parts of my appearance are ugly. He criticized the way I dressed. He told me that I have no ambition and will never amount to anything in life. He told me that my parents were failures at raising me, and that they raised me to be a spoiled brat. That's just the beginning of everything he said.

After he said all of this, I blocked him asap. But a year later, he found a way to contact me again. He apologized for everything he had said, that he was too hard on me, and that I was a good person deep down. I accepted his apology and we became friends again. For a couple of years, everything was fine but once I started opening up to him again the criticism started coming. It wasn't as bad as the first time, but also because I never let it get that far. Once I sensed the slightest hint of it, I blocked him once again from everything I could think of. 

I've now made sure that he has no way of contacting me. It's been a year since we have spoken, and I have no reason to believe he will contact me again. 

He made all of these statements to me something like 7 years ago, but they still affect me to this day. I think about them from time to time, and still feel really angry. Moreover, he always criticized my parents--probably more than he criticized me. He believed that they were responsible for all of my flaws. This makes me even angrier because even though my parents were not perfect, they were always supportive of me. 

I don't know. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope with this. I'm in a much better place in my life now than I was when he said those things to me, but I still think about it a lot. Would counseling help? 

I'm in the same boat and the fact he wants me to block him gets to me. Why does someone what you to block them ? Why wouldn't they just leave you alone  

Edited May 26, 2020 by Realitysux

[The Outlaw]

19 hours ago, purplesoccer34 said:

Would counseling help? 

I'd give it a go. I just tend to think that there are people out there that simply like to build you up only so they can tear you back down again and this wonderful piece of work is no exception but I'm glad you're rid of him. We're all going to have haters and critics but this guy is truly pathetic. And I'm sure you know this by now but should he find yet another way to contact you, don't even respond. Best to disconnect from people that are detrimental to healing.