Is this flirting?

[Alpacalia]

Can anyone crack this code for me…

I am talking to someone new that made a comment (that basically asked "who I was waking up with") and I’d like to know what is it with these types of comments? 

I've received these types of comments before.

Is this male flirting or something else?

I didn’t want to make a big deal over it (which I've had a tendency to do in the past) so I just chose not to address the comment.

[rjc149]

Tough to say without any context. 

Also, are you male or female? 

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, rjc149 said:

Tough to say without any context. 

Also, are you male or female? 

I am female.

I'll just use a general example:

"I woke up at 5am this morning".

He says "with who"?

Is that supposed to be a flirty comment?

[basil67]

That is not flirting in any way, shape or form.  If he was flirting, he may have said that he'd like to wake up with you one day.    But as it stands, I can only think of negative reasons why he'd say it. 

1. he's could be insecure

2. he thinks you sleep around

3. he's negging you

4. he could be an A hole

5. bad social skills

And I'll lay money that if you call him on it, he'll gaslight you by saying that he was just joking.  Honestly, I don't think I'd bother again with someone who said this to me.

 

 

[Alpacalia]

3 minutes ago, basil67 said:

That is not flirting in any way, shape or form.  If he was flirting, he may have said that he'd like to wake up with you one day.    But as it stands, I can only think of negative reasons why he'd say it. 

1. he's could be insecure

2. he thinks you sleep around

3. he's negging you

4. he could be an A hole

5. bad social skills

And I'll lay money that if you call him on it, he'll gaslight you by saying that he was just joking.  Honestly, I don't think I'd bother again with someone who said this to me.

 

 

Those were my initial thoughts too.

Odd because we've been talking for over a month and there has been no intimate contact or intimate talk referring to us or anyone else for that matter so I don't know what would give him the impression pertaining to Item #2.  

[basil67]

In that case it could be because he's insecure/socially inept/not a nice guy.    Has this connection got any direction happening?  

[miranda561]

57 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Those were my initial thoughts too.

Odd because we've been talking for over a month and there has been no intimate contact or intimate talk referring to us or anyone else for that matter so I don't know what would give him the impression pertaining to Item #2.  

Do you guys have like a banter  thiing going? Where you tease each other. Within that context it could make sense like an out there joke. 

If not..it is kind of an odd comment to make. 

[Alpacalia]

I think I'm just going to ignore the comment altogether.   

I can be sensitive at times so I just have to keep that in mind and I just have to do a better job with communicating that.

[Blind-Sided]

I'm with @basil67 on this one.  While it could be flirty... if you two know each other very well... and your comment would be... "I only woke up with thoughts of you."   or something like that.  But if this is a new relationship... then it's a sign of him being insecure.

[alphamale]

guys that ask these types of questions are buffoons, ignore them.  it is not flirting

[Lotsgoingon]

This sounds like a case where someone heard this line from someone else ... and decided to use it indiscriminately on you. The question has no meaning other than the meaning that you didn't like it. Therefore, it was socially awkward and bad communication. 

You don't want to assume guys have some deep thought-out motivation when they randomly say stuff like this. I assume this isn't a question you get frequently.

[Alpacalia]

45 minutes ago, alphamale said:

guys that ask these types of questions are buffoons, ignore them.  it is not flirting

I've known him and his family for a long time.  He's not a buffoon.  

24 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

This sounds like a case where someone heard this line from someone else ... and decided to use it indiscriminately on you. The question has no meaning other than the meaning that you didn't like it. Therefore, it was socially awkward and bad communication. 

You don't want to assume guys have some deep thought-out motivation when they randomly say stuff like this. I assume this isn't a question you get frequently.

Right, I don't want to assume.  

[Lotsgoingon]

You initially said:,

I am talking to someone new that made a comment ....

Now you're saying,:

I've known him and his family for a long time.

I'm confused.

 

[Emilie Jolie]

Could be he wants to be 100% sure the coast is clear and you are single before taking it further, but it's difficult to ascertain either way without knowing the nature of the dynamic between the two of you.

[alphamale]

16 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said:

You initially said:,

I am talking to someone new that made a comment ....

Now you're saying,:

I've known him and his family for a long time.

I'm confused.

 

me too 🙄

[rjc149]

Again, the context isn't totally clear -- how well do you know each other, what's his general personality like, what's your general personality like, what's the overall dynamic of your relationship, do you have a reputation for sleeping around, is he someone who sleeps with a lot of women, does he frequently make racy/sleazy comments, do you make racy/sleazy comments, etc. You're not going to give a clear picture of this in a thread reply, there is just too much missing context and information. 

Personally, viewing this 2-line exchange in a complete vacuum, I actually do think this was an attempt at flirting. Maybe a poor attempt, but I do think the comment was intended to place a sexual connotation on the dialogue. But, going from what I wrote above, it's tough to say. You're basically asking "he said this. Does he like me?" We can only speculate and theorize what's going on this guy's thoughts. 

So to summarize, yes, it's possible that he was trying to flirt with you. It's also possible that he wasn't. Only he knows. 

Edited May 26, 2020 by rjc149

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Lotsgoingon said:

You initially said:,

I am talking to someone new that made a comment ....

Now you're saying,:

I've known him and his family for a long time.

I'm confused.

 

I meant since my last relationship.  I.E. "I'm talking to someone new since my last relationship ended"

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Emilie Jolie said:

Could be he wants to be 100% sure the coast is clear and you are single before taking it further, but it's difficult to ascertain either way without knowing the nature of the dynamic between the two of you.

Perhaps you're right.  

I think I've received enough insight in this thread but if I have any other questions I'll post back.  Thanks everyone! 

[CaliforniaGirl]

It's sexual either way...it's not something a person would say without hinting at sex, basically.