Cuao Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Congrats! I've been reading your post avidly, because your current situation reminded me of a recent past situation of mine. I truly do believe that attraction to an individual can grow with time, if you are open-minded to a different look. For me, personality is THE most attractive thing. Most of the guys I have dated haven't been 'gorgeous' (but not ugly either!) but I found them appealing in my own way, be it a smile, a twinkle in the eye.. whatever! However, I've also been in the situation where even after X amt of time I just could NOT find the person visually appealing (even tho they could turn me on sexually!) At the end of the day, I need to be able to look at your face and say Yes, this is good. So good luck, and take things slow! Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 Yes, I got my spark and the chemistry is there. We discussed it and we ARE taking is slow.. Neither of us want to do anything out of haste. He is a great guy and I feel like we are two peas in a pod. I'm having him over tonight for spareribs w/homemade bbq sauce, baked potatos and vegie. He wanted to go out and I said I have laundry to do so to compromise I asked if he wanted to come over for real food (he lives off fast food cause he dont cook) and spend time with me and I can also do laundry. He happily agreed.. He told his kids about me. and they are eager to meet me already. Tonight will be the 4th time we have spent time together but we talk on the phone every day. Feels like I'm 16 again. The irony-36 yr old and a 41 yr old feeling like teenagers. He's so country boyish. I love it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 I am so happy for you Pad it's so great to read something so positive!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!! Keep us informed of the juicy details lol Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Well there were some honest reponses here and some of you people are just so shallow! I guess that what happens from watching to many soaps and to much MTV. Your brain washed! You have sold your soul to The corporate American image of what love and sex should be. It's all about toothpaste and the right hair product. Some of you woman would be whining in some other thread if some Guy rejected you because he thought you were not all that good looking. Pradameckla , I'm happy for you ,you Let your inner eye start doing the looking You let your heart be open to the possibilities. In the end it is with the heart that really see someone You let your heart be open and now you are like a kid again. That's a wonderful feeling. Oh and when if comes to that time when you and your man first make love even if the first time isn't great, If you are open and talk and are willing to learn from each other you can learn to have mind blowing sex. I firmly believe the best is when you know each other know the secrets of your lovers body and he knows yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 Oh and when if comes to that time when you and your man first make love even if the first time isn't great, If you are open and talk and are willing to learn from each other you can learn to have mind blowing sex. I firmly believe the best is when you know each other know the secrets of your lovers body and he knows yours. Don't worry I have no problems in this department.. When I get going; I'm a student and teacher. I know myself well. I have no problems communicating in this department either. The deeper I get into a relationship the more of a nymph I become.. No problems here with me.. AT ALL...... We are chosing to hold off because I know I invest myself too easily once I start being intimate with a man I cannot seperate my heart from the act..Neither of us want this to get on the wrong path. We know what we want, what works and what hasn't for ourselves. It's called Maturity and Experience. I don't feel he or I will have any problems in this department. I have asked him to help me in self control until we are ready. This is a WE relationship not a ME relationship.. If this is to work we work together. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty2020 Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 well you seem to like the inside, as we all know, and sometimes it's just the outside that is hard to get over. I see where your coming from. Life is all about love. That is one of the only reasons we want to move on to the next day. Love is something that keeps us going. And somehow in you fanties you can't help get that heeping hunk off your mind, then suddenly your pulled back to reality. I know life sucks. What I do to get over that, is I (I know this sounds weird but it works for me and maybe for you too) --I try to look only at his soul. I take what I know of that guy and mold him into that hunk. I know some think it's wrong because they say "well then you don't love that person, you just like your hunk" well that's not true. You see I've just takin' it one step further. I've done what some people can't because they are the shallow ones. I've taking that person's true self and turned them into what I believe them to look like. I know this is just like shallow hal, but it works; I think it does anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Careful you don't set the sheets on fire once you do make that commitment. Along time ago I read that a woman needs to feel loved to make love a man needs to make love in order to feel loved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 Totally understood TOPPER!! Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 glad you persisted. lotsa luck. let us know what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 This is a WE relationship not a ME relationship.. If this is to work we work together. Pad, that's one of best quotes I've heard on LS... HOW TRUE!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 Alright--UPDATE. Mr. Average looking in the beginning, is really charming me. He is so wonderful, thusfar. This is the most respectful and mature 41 year old man I have ever met... Wow.. He is blowing my mind away. Ok, last night I had him over for a home cooked meal (the man lives off fast food---YUCK). I made homemade bbq sauce over spare-ribs, baked potatos and salad. I introduced him to Green Tea and he loved it. Drank 4 huge mugs of it. He ate 5 ribs (they are not small). He was stuffed to his gills.. He was the best dinner date guest I have ever had in my life.. I love feeding a man.. He visited with me till 1:30 am this morning (yes, I am tired.) He met my son and my son said he didn't pick up any negative vibes. So far, so good. My kid always has something negative to say about the men who come into my life. We watched the news together, he gave me a wonderful back rub (he has great hands.), cuddled on the couch and after my son went to bed passion kicked in and he stopped it. He told me he didnt want me to regret anything in the morning and doesnt want to think he is just with me to get sex. So nothing happened.. I was shocked.. 99.99999% of men would have taken it if they had the opportunity. He didnt. He wanted too but he chose to respect me and prove himself to me that he isn't dating me for sex.. I was floored in all my years of dating I have never NEVER had a guy do this to me. I can be a vixen and he wouldn't fall prey. So after we had that discussion and defusing each other.. He asked me to come over tonight to meet his kids. (They are eager to meet me.) I told him to think about that. I told him that once his kids and I meet there a good chance that bonding will start and if that happens and he choses to not persue a long relationship with me there will be some hurt feelings. I told him to really think about what is right and what he wants before we start to merge our children. He said he will think about that. Tonight is a Wilds Hockey Game so it would have been great to get together with everyone and watch it but I don't know if he is ready for us all to merge yet. Its only been a week since he and I first introduced ourslves to one another. If he feels he can handle it and he is sincerely ready for his kids and I to meet then I am game. This man is really in my psychie.. He was smiling and laughing last night and I found him hard to keep my eyes off. He lights up and I light up... This is so different then any experience I have ever had with a man in my life.. He has no problem with the fact I am not a city prissy girl. I am more of a tomboy. I am earthy, I get my hands and feet dirty. It's strange to have a man who likes me for who I am. I am very blunt with him. I know what I see, I say what I mean and mean what I say. I don't play games. His reactions to some of the things I say to him surprise him. I am very open. He said he likes it. He has never had a woman be so bold and honest and upfront. I am not embarrassed to talk about things. I initiate a lot of the serious conversations. ex: intimacy and sex. I throw caution in the wind so we dont do anything in a rush and he always respects my caution and will help me follow through with my caution. ex: stopping last night (sex). Its great to feel balanced. I feel like he levels me out. His laid back personality and my high strung personality seem to balance together. I pray this is the real thing.. He is really rubbing on me and wearing on me and I like it.. I find his face to be handsome-his hair is soft, his eyes are sky blue, his teeth are white. he smells good, is built nice. gives the best back rubs I've ever had (which is very few), he has good manners and likes to talk.. I'm in awe.... Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 it sounds totally and absolutely wonderful. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Sounds like a win-win situation so far... hope the good news continues to flow. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 So after we had that discussion and defusing each other.. He asked me to come over tonight to meet his kids. (They are eager to meet me.) I told him to think about that. I told him that once his kids and I meet there a good chance that bonding will start and if that happens and he choses to not persue a long relationship with me there will be some hurt feelings. I told him to really think about what is right and what he wants before we start to merge our children. He said he will think about that. How come you introduced him to your kid? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Right On Fuzengate ( sp ) chemistry is everything...well said : 3 dates or 30 , if there is no attraction , there isn't going to be much later. It has nothing to do with his looks or lack there of, its the chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 12, 2005 Author Share Posted October 12, 2005 How come you introduced him to your kid? My son is 16. His children are younger. My son is not as eager and as excitable as his children are being. (His kids instantly wanted to meet me the moment he told them about me.) My son is cautious. He is the kind of kid you need to prove yourself too. My son just sits back and waits to see if the man will turn into a jerk or not. He has witnessed his dad in jerk mode. He has learned not to put too much expectations into someone until they show their sincerity. My son has not lived a sheltered life and he lives in reality. He is a very smart young man and has good intuition and insight into people. He should become a Psychologist instead of a Graphics Designer.. Link to post Share on other sites
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