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Would love to hear what girls think of this


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I have known this girl since we were in the 7th grade.  I am now in my late 40's.  We both had an attraction with each other right away.  I was very shy, but she was not.  She would leave me little notes all the time.  This went on through half of high school. Again I was way to shy to say anything.  After high school, I sent her a letter telling her how I felt towards her.  I never heard back.  Fast forward about 10 years.  I had just gotten married to another girl which never felt right.  Just a few months after being married I came across a website to find people.  So I put in several names of old friends.  Hers was the only name that came back with any contact information.  So, I emailed her.  We eventually met for lunch and had a great time.  Feelings started coming back.  Met several times over the years.(nothing ever happened sexually)  She told me she was seeing someone off and on and I swear she was still interested in me by her actions.  The last time I saw her was about 15 years ago for dinner.  Had the best night of my life.  I was falling in love with her but I couldn't say that because I was married with kids now.   I regretted that. A few months after that she announced she got engaged to the on and off guy.   He was killed in an accident 4 years ago.  

 About 6 months ago I watched a movie with a similar story line.  I started to think of her a lot again.  I started to message her on FB.  She would always right back right away.  We had some nice conversations.  This would continue up until last week as my feelings were growing.  I wrote her a letter an explained in detail how I feel for her and how the last time we met made me feel.  She wrote back.  I know it came out of left field for her.  She explained the loss of her fiancée and mother recently had devastated her and honestly doesn't know if she is ready to date yet. She said she doesn't look the same as she did 15 years ago.  That she has gotten heavier.    I told her I don't care.  Now this is where I'm getting confused.  She said that she" wants to see me for lunch or something" to catch up when this virus is over.  She also wants to continue messaging each other.

Do you think she is interested in having a relationship with me, but is isn't ready yet?   This girl has been my dream girl, but it. me was and shyness was never on my side.  I sent that letter because I feel it was my last shot at her before another guy gets her.  She is my dream girl!!  

I am still married but not emotionally married.  It's only gotten worse over the years.

Looking for advice please,  Thanks!!

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Emilie Jolie
28 minutes ago, KJ38 said:

I am still married

Can you wait until you are not married anymore before embarking on this? I'm sorry I have nothing more constructive to impart as far as advice, but you are about to enter emotional affair territory; I don't want to rain on your parade, but I really think you need to carefully think your next move. Not being 'emotionally married' isn't a free pass to break your marriage vows. Or you could ask your wife for advice, and see what she has to say. Up to you.

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2 hours ago, preraph said:

I don't think you cheating on your wife would impress this woman very much.   

I am not looking to having an affair.  It would not be fair to all parties.  Right now I am trying to figure out what she is thinking.

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