ExpatInItaly Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 You need to put this guy in your rear-view mirror, Fragles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 On 6/1/2020 at 12:11 PM, Fraggles86 said: Ahh I do wish I lived closer to you, I could do with a proper chat. What's wrong with having a chat by phone if he's so hard up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) 25 minutes ago, stillafool said: What's wrong with having a chat by phone if he's so hard up? Because in his mind, a proper chat by phone won't lead to sex happening so why bother putting in the effort? If they lived close by, given how OP feels, which he certainly knows by now, it wouldn't take much effort for him to chat a bit, meet and convince her to have sex with him. I don't straight out advise this very often, but this bozo is playing you big time. Get rid! Edited June 7, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 10 hours ago, Fraggles86 said: I am not getting into any of the rest of this comment right now as i am not in the right frame of mind to be trying to explain things at the moment. Don't take time to explain things to me. I got most of it already. If you have some time, start thinking about what I wrote. Ask yourself why you keep defending and justifying this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 On 5/28/2020 at 3:24 PM, Fraggles86 said: we dont really know eachother Did you have sex with him on that one date you had with him? What did you do? Where did you meet? And where did you go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 8, 2020 Author Share Posted June 8, 2020 16 hours ago, poppyfields said: I have to be honest. This^ is your mind engaging in various mindf*cks to avoid facing the fact this man has lost interest, and the pain of rejection. We, or most of us, have done same, it's quite common. I wonder, do you not have experience dating men who are actually interested? Depression or not (which I'm not buying anyway) they don't treat you like he is. If I had to venture a guess, something about your intense sexting session turned him off, which is why he suddenly dropped off, and has been treating you so nonchalantly and casually since. Meh, really, the bare minimum to keep you around, keep you on rotation as one of his options. I'm sorry. Best to get real. He's not feeling it. Certainly not to the extent you are. Try to get a handle on your anxiety, and take steps to move on from this experience and learn from it. He does suffer with depression and anxiety. I may have only met him once and he may live 300 miles away but it was through a friend that i met him. This is how i know he definitely does struggle with them and that it wasn't just me he was ignoring. I am not trying to 'score points' by being there for him. I know what it is like when you feel you have no one to turn to Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 8, 2020 Author Share Posted June 8, 2020 9 hours ago, justwhoiam said: Did you have sex with him on that one date you had with him? What did you do? Where did you meet? And where did you go? No we didn't have sex. It wasn't really what i would call a date. He just came over and we watched a couple of movies. Before anyone jumps on me letting him in my house, we had met briefly before through a friend when he wad here visiting, he used to live in this area, and got talking a little. So he came over one night before he travelled back home Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Fraggles86 said: I am not trying to 'score points' by being there for him. I know what it is like when you feel you have no one to turn to Did he tell you feels that way? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 8, 2020 Author Share Posted June 8, 2020 17 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Did he tell you feels that way? No. But he has said in that in the past he has always felt that way Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 On 6/5/2020 at 6:39 PM, ExpatInItaly said: I hate to say it, but he sounds a bit smooth. As in, he knows the right things to say to keep you hooked so when he does randomly disappear, he knows you'll be right there waiting for him when he feels like returning. I completely agree with this. He knows just what to say. He is saying really nice things so as not to look like a complete dick for blowing you off. But what you don't see is that he is basically saying thanks but no thanks. Look, I myself suffer with depression and anxiety. Yes I have days where I dont want to talk but i never completely ignore anyone I genuinly care about for days or weeks. Everyone can see what is happening here except you. This isnt going anywhere i'm affraid. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 10 hours ago, Fraggles86 said: No we didn't have sex. It wasn't really what i would call a date. He just came over and we watched a couple of movies. Before anyone jumps on me letting him in my house, we had met briefly before through a friend when he wad here visiting, he used to live in this area, and got talking a little. So he came over one night before he travelled back home Oh, you forgot to say all this... Quite telling. One other thing: how did you get drunk twice in a row while being in lockdown? Do you get drunk at home? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 8, 2020 Author Share Posted June 8, 2020 3 hours ago, justwhoiam said: Oh, you forgot to say all this... Quite telling. One other thing: how did you get drunk twice in a row while being in lockdown? Do you get drunk at home? Telling? In what way? And yes i was drinking at home. I have someone staying here with me for lockdown so we decided to have a few drinks Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 9, 2020 Share Posted June 9, 2020 21 hours ago, Fraggles86 said: Telling? In what way? Well, you hadn't mentioned you already knew the guy through a mutual friend. You didn't say the date was coming to your place before he'd go home. It sounds like a very casual date, not something a guy would put any effort in. That's why all that counts to understand what he might be feeling like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 10, 2020 Author Share Posted June 10, 2020 6 hours ago, justwhoiam said: Well, you hadn't mentioned you already knew the guy through a mutual friend. You didn't say the date was coming to your place before he'd go home. It sounds like a very casual date, not something a guy would put any effort in. That's why all that counts to understand what he might be feeling like. I wouldn't say i knew him. We only met briefly before he came over. We texy abit afyer first meeting and before him coming round but not huge amounts. I don't think it was ever really meant to be a date. We mostly got talking then and after he had gone back home. Not before. What do you mean what he might feel like? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Fraggles86 said: I wouldn't say i knew him. We only met briefly before he came over. We texy abit afyer first meeting and before him coming round but not huge amounts. I don't think it was ever really meant to be a date. We mostly got talking then and after he had gone back home. Not before. What do you mean what he might feel like? Maybe he was not interested in you that way... Otherwise he would have at least kissed you. I don't know, but if attraction had been there, he would have done something or tried something. Nothing of that. It was like two old friends watching a movie together. Does any of that seem off to you? Link to post Share on other sites
lovelife91011 Posted June 10, 2020 Share Posted June 10, 2020 i can understand how u feeling right now..even i am having fights with my long distance boyfriend and i really dont know why hemake me feel so boring is he not interested on me anymore than what is the point of keeping me unblock and replying my msgs...i m going through depression and anxiety i have become so addicted to him that even if he hurts me i still prefer to get his love Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 10, 2020 Author Share Posted June 10, 2020 We spent most of the time talking and getting to know eachother. And we did kiss as he left Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 11, 2020 Share Posted June 11, 2020 (edited) On 6/5/2020 at 1:34 PM, Fraggles86 said: He tells me how much he appreciates me being there for him. Says how adorable i am. Calls me babe, sweetie or beautiful. He also uses my name alot in text when telling me how he appreciates me. He reacts to alot of my messages, usually a heart reaction. I have male friends that talk like this with me. Means nothing. Has he ever actually told you that he's romantically interested in you? Edited June 11, 2020 by JTSW Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fraggles86 Posted June 12, 2020 Author Share Posted June 12, 2020 No. Never. He has never said anything like that. He has never given me any kinds of signs. We never kissed. He doesnt have depression. We never even sexted. I made the whole thing up in my head. Im completely crazy and deluded. I see that now 🤦♀️🤦♀️ Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 (edited) Fraggles, thank you for the sarcastic comment lol. Even so, you haven't done anything wrong at all. You really like a guy who isn't giving you anything. Regardless of those little things between you, he has never given any indication that he would like a relationship with you. He's very friendly and knows the right things to say, but i don't think he has the kind of interest you want him to have. He used you on a night he was particularly horny and then acted aloof. Noone is against you here. We're just letting you know what we can see from your description of his behavior. Edited June 13, 2020 by JTSW Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 13, 2020 Share Posted June 13, 2020 9 minutes ago, JTSW said: i don't think he has the kind of interest you want him to have. This sums up my thoughts on it, too. Just be careful about getting too attached to him, Fragles. This could work out okay, perhaps, but it also has the potential to go south really fast. There are more indicators of the latter than the former at this point, so use caution. It doesn't mean you're imagining things; it simply means his intentions could be very different from yours, which is where you stand to get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
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