need help w/being jealous of bf's bartending job,sry so long!

[filfeisty]

my bf of 2yr is a bartender. where do i start...lol when we first started dating he drank alot, but he found out he has hepititas c, so he quit drinking for about 8 months which was great. now being a bartender he has to flirt of course it's part of his job so to speak, the problem is that when he drinks while working he gets very friendly with the women, i know he did it with me! like openning the door that leeds to get back behind the bar where there is a hallway and he kisses almost all the women hello and goodbye, now when he is sober it's just a quick harmless peck but when he is drinking it's grouping, tongue down the throat and who knows what else. i told him i didn't think i could handle continuing our relationship knowing that he is making out w/all the women in there every night, at 1st he got mad and said he wouldn't stop but then he asked the advice of one of his close friends and his friend told him he should stop because what he is doing could leed to other things. so with his friends advice he stopped or so he said he did. then i find out a yr later that he is still doing it, his excuse ev1 said he wasn't friendly anymore. he swore that he wasn't doing anything more than just a quick hug and peck so i got over it and moved on. my problem now is that he is dinking again sometimes i go down toward the end of the night and he is just sloppy drunk. i can only get away with going down there late because he dosen't want me in there at first it was because he can't handle the guys trying to pickup on me so he says,i am 41 and he thinks i'm a hottie, he is 54 nice looking very affectionate he treats me well always asking me what i'm doing with his old self. now i find out that he is hiring a girl to be barback on there busy nights fri-sat, now this girl used to do it a while back b-4 we started seeing each other, i met her at a wedding of one of his customers, she asked me why she never sees me at the bar and i told her because he gets jealous if i dance with his friends ect. then she says your kidding (and she sticks her tongue out and says u mean mr. tongue down the throat david gets jealous of u, with how he is with all the women he has no room to be like that. i am really having a hard time coping with the whole situation it's borthering me really bad and he basically is telling me that's his job and i have nothing to say about it, now i have to worry about what is going now that he has a women working behind the bar with him, i don't know what to do should i leave him should i just cope with it, i really don't know if he would cheat on me or not. but it is eating up inside. and by the way he was in a relationship w/some1 else when he was trying to make out with me behind the door he says he wasn't in love with her like he is with me. i really need some input please!

[brittanyjean259]

this is very very bad.

 

he shouldent have to ask a friends advice on this. HE SHOULD know.

 

its obvious he told you he doesnt want to see you there bc guys will get jealous...just so you dont see him macking on other ladies!!

 

use your judgement and commen sence thats just plane wrong...

 

 

you shouldent be jealous,hes a pig and you can be better

 

 

should i have been nore symphathetic?

 

good luck!

[Maria46]

Your bf is a dog:sick:

 

I bartended for years. Yes, you have to turn on the charm and be friendly, but he has gone waaaaaaayy over the line.

 

All part of the job??? NOT!

 

Kick him to the curb and find someone that really loves you and who will treat you and the relationship with respect.

[filfeisty]

that's what I said i have also bartended and was never that friendly. i only did it for a couple of yr. he has been doing it for 15, i guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks. thanks for the input.

[NiCoLe20]

he is kind of old to be bartending anyway imo... no young girls like an older guy hitting on them like that, well atleast i dont lol

[nosybear819]

Your man goes to work and makes out with strange women all night and you're asking is something wrong I don't know girl but I wouldn't be putting up with that. So he's a bartender big deal - I kno a few bartenders and I never see them making out with every customer they serve - I don't get a side of tongue down my throat along with my bud light. What if he was a waiter or a carsales man - would kissing the customers still be appropriate? I mean it's all about the charm and having people like him right? I agree with Maria46 your man is a dog and a lying sack of you know what. I can not beleive you're going along with this kind of behavior. He must be doing some serious brain washing

[crazy_grl]

OMG what a scumbag. Getting sloppy drunk and making out with women is NOT part of the job. Who cares if he's been doing things like that for 15 years. If he's in a relationship, he shouldn't be making out with other women. That's a no brainer.

 

It sounds like he might have a drinking problem too, and at his age, I doubt he's going to suddenly get any better. You've already given him at least one chance to stop and he hasn't gotten better. I think you should let him go and stop putting up with this.