frustrated Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 I had been dating a guy for over a year. I just graduated from college and he still has two more years of school left. He decided that he doesn't want to hold me back from starting my career, so we broke up. I moved back home to save up some money, so we're living in two different towns. Plus, at this time we both want different things out of life. I would eventually like to get married and have children and he does not. We are perfect for eachother other than that, which is a big deal I realize. I just think it's difficult to say that both of our outlooks are not going to change. Now, it has been a two months since we have "broken up." We still talk and I have been back to visit him. When we're together it feels like we're still together. We decided to stay friends because the breakup wasn't harsh. We still both care for eachother, but our future plans is what is keeping us apart. I miss him so much. I'm having a hard time moving on, just being friends with him because I want more than that. I want him in my life, but I just don't know if that's possible if I want to move on and have him as my friend. He realizes my frustration because it's just as difficult for him. So, I was thinking in order for me to move on that maybe we shouldn't talk for awhile. He's willing to do that if that's what I want, but really all I want is him back. I can tell he wants me back to, but he knows and I know it's probably not the best decision. I need some advice!! What should I do?? Should we let our different future outlooks stand in our way? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 13, 2001 Share Posted June 13, 2001 Forget him for a while. Cease contact. He wants his life to go in an entirely different direction than you want yours to go. You want to get married and have children, he doesn't. You can't count on him changing. I will let you in on a little secret that maybe nobody has told you. In most cases, the reason we date is to find the right person to settle down with, have a family with and spend our old age with. This guy is obviously not a candidate. I know you love him and you want him back but it takes a whole lot more than love to make an everlasting relationship and the essential ingredients do not exist in this particular case. You cannot be friends with someone you're in love where there is no hope for any future because of differing goals and values. Heal from this. Go find a great guy who wants the same things you do. Once you do that, there will be no void in your life and it's highly unlikely you'll even want your ex for a friend. He is really in a much different place than you are and you will see this in time. Move on and let the past go. Link to post Share on other sites
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