Can somebody explain to me why

[snowcones]

Younger men are so much more persistent/assertive/direct/intense than older men? I'm talking men 10-20 years younger (I'm in my late 40's).  I mean, the level of clear interest I get from younger men is nowhere close to the level of interest I get from older men.  With men my age their interest is more often than not, vague, unclear and mostly uninspiring.  In short, they are not as sure as the younger men. 

You can say that younger men just want to get laid, but surely they could do that with a young woman?  Younger (in their 20's) would be much easier to catch (they're way nicer and more open than me) and prettier too.

You could also say that older men just aren't interested in older women, but that still doesn't explain the younger men. Young men are typically interested in young women too, but are way too busy being after me, the older woman.  I even had a local dude who was a model come after me.  I'm like, why?  What is wrong with you guys?  (lol)

When I ask, they give me some story about the women their age being immature, users, sleeping around or super broke.  Although I'm flattered by their interest and it's tempting (because assertiveness is attractive and I respect that more) I think the younger guys should lighten up and chill a bit.  Why do you have to have someone so mature?   Or maybe it's just their higher level of testosterone making them more aggressive.

Anyone else experience this?

Edited May 30, 2020 by snowcones

[d0nnivain]

They have nothing to lose.  

When I was single in my late 30s, I had a few cubs flash interest, but they were easily brushed off with an icy stare or cold snarky comment.  

[snowcones]

8 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

They have nothing to lose. 

By that, I assume you mean they are not jaded by life?

[alphamale]

assertiveness = #metoo = jail/lawsuit (for the men mostly)

[snowcones]

9 minutes ago, alphamale said:

assertiveness = #metoo = jail/lawsuit (for the men mostly)

So you think younger men are less cautious to approach because they don't fear what could happen to them?

That's exactly the kind of thing I like. 

[alphamale]

2 minutes ago, snowcones said:

So you think younger men are less cautious to approach because they don't fear what could happen to them?

 

pretty much, yes.....and, they're stupid

Edited May 30, 2020 by alphamale

[snowcones]

2 minutes ago, alphamale said:

pretty much, yes.....and, they're stupid

😅  Hmmmm....

[snowcones]

I've been really drilling this one young buck with questions (he seems to enjoy it too) to try to pick his brain.  It's been enlightening.

[CaliforniaGirl]

IMO it's just more energy. There's a certain specific energy you can feel from 20somethings. They "to for it" with that same energy but it's not only with sex. It's just in general...just the fact of being young.

[snowcones]

5 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

IMO it's just more energy. There's a certain specific energy you can feel from 20somethings. They "to for it" with that same energy but it's not only with sex. It's just in general...just the fact of being young.

Right.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Younger men typically do not see you as a viable, long term prospect. They feel that older women will be more eager to accept their affections because of their physical, sexual companionship and prowess. They feel that older women, being beyond their prime, not really as enticing and wanted, will be easier for sexual encounters until they are ready to settle down. Older men, yes, are more jaded, more experienced (good or bad), and are pessimistic. 

I am 51 and only date between 44-55. I find the age range to be abounding with amazing women and I am always enthusiastic about my approach provided I see promise. 

[miranda561]

1 hour ago, snowcones said:

Younger men are so much more persistent/assertive/direct/intense than older men? I'm talking men 10-20 years younger (I'm in my late 40's).  I mean, the level of clear interest I get from younger men is nowhere close to the level of interest I get from older men.  With men my age their interest is more often than not, vague, unclear and mostly uninspiring.  In short, they are not as sure as the younger men. 

You can say that younger men just want to get laid, but surely they could do that with a young woman?  Younger (in their 20's) would be much easier to catch (they're way nicer and more open than me) and prettier too.

You could also say that older men just aren't interested in older women, but that still doesn't explain the younger men. Young men are typically interested in young women too, but are way too busy being after me, the older woman.  I even had a local dude who was a model come after me.  I'm like, why?  What is wrong with you guys?  (lol)

When I ask, they give me some story about the women their age being immature, users, sleeping around or super broke.  Although I'm flattered by their interest and it's tempting (because assertiveness is attractive and I respect that more) I think the younger guys should lighten up and chill a bit.  Why do you have to have someone so mature?   Or maybe it's just their higher level of testosterone making them more aggressive.

Anyone else experience this?

They all just want one thing. Im assuming. Or maybe they think older women are more experienced in the physical realm.

 

[smackie9]

More energy, not so stuck in their ways.

[d0nnivain]

52 minutes ago, snowcones said:

So you think younger men are less cautious to approach because they don't fear what could happen to them?

That's exactly the kind of thing I like. 

Exactly.  Since you like it keep on doing it.  What's the problem? 

[snowcones]

11 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Younger men typically do not see you as a viable, long term prospect. They feel that older women will be more eager to accept their affections because of their physical, sexual companionship and prowess. They feel that older women, being beyond their prime, not really as enticing and wanted, will be easier for sexual encounters until they are ready to settle down. Older men, yes, are more jaded, more experienced (good or bad), and are pessimistic. 

I am 51 and only date between 44-55. I find the age range to be abounding with amazing women and I am always enthusiastic about my approach provided I see promise. 

So the thing I pick up the most from them is that they aren't thinking about long-term AT ALL.  Not with a younger woman nor an older woman.  They just think of themselves as deep and mature and think they need an older woman to match that.  Younger women who go with much older men also do this.   I can spot the ones like you described who want a "cougar" a mile away.  Those are the ones that will think an older woman is going to swoon over his sexual prowess upon him showing up.  They are usually boorish and boring though, and not surprisingly, they lack finesse coming from that place and it falls flat.  The ones I am speaking about in this thread do not fit into that category. Their energy and enthusiasm is both attractive and scary at the same time.

[Spainglish]

This happens to me too.  I"ve had some very candid discussions with some of them about the "why" and the answers are very interesting. 

Mostly, to sum it up, they think that an older woman knows what she is doing and has the confidence to enjoy the act of sex without worrying about how she looks, etc. They think an older woman is more open to experimentation and such because she's been around the block.  They like the idea of having raw, uninhibited sex with a woman who's going to just enjoy it and not worry about where it's going.  They're looking for raw passion and maturity.

The other answer I get is a more cocky one.  They think you will worship them because they have more energy in the bedroom and can stay at full salute for quite awhile.  It's not about having an experience with an older woman.  It's more about stroking their ego and thinking they are a gift to you.

As tempting as it sounds to bed a younger man, I could never do it myself.  My son is in his thirties and when I see these young guys hit on me, all I can think about is the fact that I could be their mother.  🤪  Besides, I prefer a more distinguished gentleman with intrigue, experience and a bit of whimsy. Maybe someone who could teach me a thing or two.  😉 

[snowcones]

6 minutes ago, Spainglish said:

This happens to me too.  I"ve had some very candid discussions with some of them about the "why" and the answers are very interesting. 

Mostly, to sum it up, they think that an older woman knows what she is doing and has the confidence to enjoy the act of sex without worrying about how she looks, etc. They think an older woman is more open to experimentation and such because she's been around the block.  They like the idea of having raw, uninhibited sex with a woman who's going to just enjoy it and not worry about where it's going.  They're looking for raw passion and maturity.

The other answer I get is a more cocky one.  They think you will worship them because they have more energy in the bedroom and can stay at full salute for quite awhile.  It's not about having an experience with an older woman.  It's more about stroking their ego and thinking they are a gift to you.

As tempting as it sounds to bed a younger man, I could never do it myself.  My son is in his thirties and when I see these young guys hit on me, all I can think about is the fact that I could be their mother.  🤪 

This would bore me and I'd see it a ploy to get an easy lay.  These types are everywhere. I shoo them away.

Edited May 30, 2020 by snowcones

[Interstellar]

Testosterone  and the sexualization of the older women in the media, ie. milf’s, cougars, etc...and older, mature or women with kids don’t play games. When they like you, you’ll know but then again younger and intelligent women are the same as well.

Edited May 30, 2020 by Interstellar

[basil67]

2 hours ago, alphamale said:

assertiveness = #metoo = jail/lawsuit (for the men mostly)

By "assertiveness", I assume you mean pinning her to a wall and forcing your hand down her knickers?

Being forthright in flirting is not a thing which will send a guy to jail.   Though it could land him in trouble if he's a lech at work.

[Cookiesandough]

bc younger men are generally horny af lol

and probably bc the idea is taboo/exciting

Edited May 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[snowcones]

14 minutes ago, basil67 said:

By "assertiveness", I assume you mean pinning her to a wall and forcing your hand down her knickers?

Being forthright in flirting is not a thing which will send a guy to jail.   Though it could land him in trouble if he's a lech at work.

😂  I used to explain this to men who brought up sexual harrassment all the time.  This was like 20 years ago that I used to argue this with them. It fell on deaf ears.  Many of them were and still are totally irrational about it.   And then I realized that it wasn't actually about sexual harassment to them, it was that sexual harassment was the excuse they could use to NOT have to approach women.  It relieved them of having to do something that they already found to be super scary (talking to a woman)  and they were looking for an easy way out so they don't have to do it and they found it.  And then I stopped arguing with them because I didn't want them anyway after realizing how easily scared they were.

Edited May 30, 2020 by snowcones

[Cookiesandough]

I was half joking, but also wanna add that I know there is a subset of young men that are pretty much exclusively interested in older women, and not women their age. A lot of them had first sexual encounters/curiosity that was related to older women or they just like their maturity, appearance, whatever. Similar to younger women that like older men. It's not just sex for them, they genuinely feel they click better with them. 

I feel like when I get that age I would not want to date a MUCH younger guy even if he thinks he's so mature. I'm still in my 20s and guys younger than me even by a few years tend to annoy me

Edited May 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Malin889]

Yes Snowcones, I too have noticed this - a lot. At least online. While I am flattered with the younger guys' attention, I never quite trust it, because I always feel like they are out for the "older, mature woman" experience and aren't actually looking for a long term relationship. This may not be true for someone you meet out, because the first thing they see may not be your age. But I feel like online, when one of the first things someone sees is your age, that's exactly what a lot of younger guys are looking for. I've had so many guys say "I like older women", and I hate that. It's like, I'm not an age, I'm a person. 

A lot of older guys can be a bit set in their ways, jaded, etc. It's tough. It makes you wonder that if they are jaded or don't act assertive or enthusiastic, then why are they on the dating sites to begin with? 

[alphamale]

a lot of older ppl (both men and women) have given up with dating and romance.  one has to be attracted to someone to even think about approaching them but so many have "let themselves go".  it seems that the oldr you get the fewer and fewer suitable and attractive potential mates exist

[chillii]

 

Older guys have got more brains and they're a wake up to women , especially older ones , been through divorces and screwed over an in no hurry to go there again, and tend to like younger in shape women anyway and on and on it goes. Sometimes younger guys even good looking ones can't get women their own age so they'll go after the older ones because they're easier and far more flirty , and sorry to say but often desperate , guys know this..Back in the day the only reason myself or mates might show any interest in someone older was in times of serious drought but l prefered to wait. Was only ever with one older women and l didn't like it at all , it was all wrong and was never close to any kind of real match either, during that someone my age came along and the attraction and obvious difference and connection was a mile wide, so l learnt my lesson.

Edited May 30, 2020 by chillii