basil67 Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, alphamale said: but so many have "let themselves go". it seems that the oldr you get the fewer and fewer suitable and attractive potential mates exist Hah yes! Were I single, a guy would have to love a woman in Docs to ask me out. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 docs are back basil.. ❤️ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 1 hour ago, chillii said: Older guys have got more brains and they're a wake up to women , especially older ones , been through divorces and screwed over an in no hurry to go there again, and tend to like younger in shape women anyway and on and on it goes. Sometimes younger guys even good looking ones can't get women their own age so they'll go after the older ones because they're easier and far more flirty , and sorry to say but often desperate , guys know this..Back in the day the only reason myself or mates might show any interest in someone older was in times of serious drought but l prefered to wait. Was only ever with one older women and l didn't like it at all , it was all wrong and was never close to any kind of real match either, during that someone my age came along and the attraction and obvious difference and connection was a mile wide, so l learnt my lesson. Well I think everyone is different. when I was young, I would never in a million years go for an older man for the same reasons you said you wouldn't date older women, but obviously some women do like older men. Same with men dating older women. They have their reasons for liking them. Not everyone thinks alike and I don't pretend to understand why ANYONE dates someone much older, but there are many things I don't understand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I have dated quite a few late 40-somethings and 50-somethings who are just HOT. They have tried and likely continue to date guys 10-25 years younger. All of them have complained about the following: 1. Jaded men in their age group 2. Many men in their age group are less than ideal in terms of how they view women and dating 3. Let themselves go 4. Lack of enthusiasm for life, in general Unfortunately, they have been as burned with the younger men... 1. All about the sex which is fun and exciting at first, but gets old when life-long commitment is not the goal 2. Young men, more likely to want children when ready for long term, but ladies are not looking to have anymore 3. For some of the women, the lifestyle and pace of younger men gets too exhausting 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, chillii said: Older guys have got more brains and they're a wake up to women , especially older ones , been through divorces and screwed over an in no hurry to go there again, and tend to like younger in shape women anyway and on and on it goes. Sometimes younger guys even good looking ones can't get women their own age so they'll go after the older ones because they're easier and far more flirty , and sorry to say but often desperate , guys know this..Back in the day the only reason myself or mates might show any interest in someone older was in times of serious drought but l prefered to wait. Was only ever with one older women and l didn't like it at all , it was all wrong and was never close to any kind of real match either, during that someone my age came along and the attraction and obvious difference and connection was a mile wide, so l learnt my lesson. I must say I slightly disagree...I don't know where this idea comes from not all but most of the older guys I've dated have seemed slightly more desperate if I had to call it that. No diss to the older men, not all of them are that way and I'm not even saying theres a correlation there....but that I don't see the correlation the other way ..., and that's just my experience. Also your bad experience... Maybe you just aren't into older women... Edited May 31, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I will say I have seen this a lot of late with a peer group. Things that I hear are this: older women don't play games, older women KNOW what they want and are not afraid to say what that is, older women are by their very nature more mature and alluring, and they feel older are just down right sexy. Granted the women they are referencing are in their 40s and LOOK AMAZING....... 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: I must say I slightly disagree...I don't know where this idea comes from not all but most of the older guys I've dated have seemed slightly more desperate if I had to call it that. No diss to the older men, not all of them are that way and I'm not even saying theres a correlation there....but that I don't see the correlation the other way ..., and that's just my experience. Also your bad experience... Maybe you just aren't into older women... It's always older men who call older women "desperate". They really hate us. I think it 's funny. 😂 Edited May 31, 2020 by snowcones Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) Different take. When I attended "group" there were youngish men who admitted preferring older women and I quote "they are cooler, less emotional, less high maintenance, less psycho." One guy expanded on the psycho, saying older women don't go ballistic and freak out if they don't hear from me every 10 seconds...I feel more free to be myself and not play some role. I thought that was quite an enlightening response! Older women have learned to manage their emotions better, I'm in my late 30s and I can attest to that. They're more comfortable in their own skin. They know how to be assertive and strong, take no BS, while still feminine.:) Edited May 31, 2020 by poppyfields 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Different take. When I attended "group" there were men who admitted preferring older women and I quote "they are cooler, less emotional, less high maintenance, less psycho." One guy expanded on the psycho, saying they don't go ballistic and freak out if they don't hear from me every 10 seconds...I feel more free to be myself and not play some role. I thought that was quite an enlightening response! Older women have learned to manage their emotions better, I'm in my late 30s and I can attest to that. Ha ha. No offense. If you believe that all of this is a testament to how 'together' older women are... This translates to: Older women care less about what I am doing and are not likely to make me more accountable and will take on more sh#t from my immature antics. Believe me, they are playing a role for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 13 minutes ago, snowcones said: It's always older men who call older women "desperate". They really hate us. I think it 's funny. 😂 You should know that man younger men have conversations about how much easier it is to get older women, just not in your face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Ha ha. No offense. If you believe that all of this is a testament to how 'together' older women are... This translates to: Older women care less about what I am doing and are not likely to make me more accountable and will take on more sh#t from my immature antics. Believe me, they are playing a role for you. I modified my post adding a paragraph, but no I think it may be the opposite. Their experience and maturity has caused them to adopt a take no BS attitude and call guys on their shyt, when warranted. Not calling for a day or two does not constitute "BS," they need to call a guy out on. They need their space too! And they pick their battles. Anyway, my brother is married to a woman 15 years his senior and my boss's wife is 10 years his senior so there must be something to it. Edited May 31, 2020 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: You should know that man younger men have conversations about how much easier it is to get older women, just not in your face. 4 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Ha ha. No offense. If you believe that all of this is a testament to how 'together' older women are... This translates to: Older women care less about what I am doing and are not likely to make me more accountable and will take on more sh#t from my immature antics. Believe me, they are playing a role for you. I'm aware of both of these things. I'm not bothered by it because IME everybody's playing a role. The guy I was talking to today I met in a travel group. He is an avid traveler and works hard. He said that he hates that younger women don't have money to travel and want him to pay for their trips. I'm not mad at that. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 I think I have noticed that. And believe me, as a youngish woman and I guess more 'objective' party, I think it's really sad the vitriol that is thrown around by older men/older women regarding each other!..It almost seems like each one hoping their peers isn't as successful in the dating realm as the other....maybe leaving more for them. Anyway, I don't know the motive, but it's something I really don't see that often among younger men and women...like you rarely see them insulting each other to the same degree. it really does make me fear a bit for the future... There are attractive older men and older women across the board.I don't think we should knock anyone down, but be nice and love each other 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: I think I have noticed that. And believe me, as a youngish woman and I guess more 'objective' party, I think it's really sad the vitriol that is thrown around by older men/older women regarding each other!..It almost seems like each one hoping their peers isn't as successful in the dating realm as the other....maybe leaving more for them. Anyway, I don't know the motive, but it's something I really don't see that often among younger men and women...like you rarely see them insulting each other to the same degree. it really does make me fear a bit for the future... There are attractive older men and older women across the board.I don't think we should knock anyone down, but be nice and love each other Younger men and women don't do it at all to each other. I'm guessing the older men/women hating each other thing has more to do with self-hatred than anything else. The other reminds them of how old they are and they don't want to be reminded. I'm always just like, why? Just chill and live your life. I'm comfortable in my skin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) like you would never hear women my age say "guys my age are dorky and desperate and most women don't want them ...older women don't want them for anything more than just a young buck to have a couple fun nights with. we don't want them because they also are broke and not successful ! it's really pathetic and sad" which is basically the equivalent of what some older men are saying about older women in this thread. I actually think younger men are less likely to think like that about them, so no wonder you see so many more older women considering dating so much younger Edited May 31, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 17 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I modified my post adding a paragraph, but no I think it may be the opposite. Their experience and maturity has caused them to adopt a take no BS attitude and call guys on their shyt, when warranted. Not calling for a day or two does not constitute "BS," they need to call a guy out on. They need their space too! And they pick their battles. Anyway, my brother is married to a woman 15 years his senior and my boss's wife is 10 years his senior so there must be something to it. I do and have hung around guys much younger myself in various social situations who love to talk about bagging older women, etc. I have no doubt you have anecdotal examples, but as often as I read about 20 and 30 something men in dating, and the locker room conversations, I cannot help think that most younger men are not dating much older women for the reasons that would appear more idealistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: like you would never hear women my age say "guys my age are dorky and desperate and most women don't want them ...older women don't want them for anything more than just a young buck to have a couple fun nights with. we don't want them because they also are broke and not successful ! it's really pathetic and sad" which is basically the equivalent of what some older men are saying about older women in this thread. I actually think younger men are less likely to think like that about them IKR? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 2 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I do and have hung around guys much younger myself in various social situations who love to talk about bagging older women, etc. I have no doubt you have anecdotal examples, but as often as I read about 20 and 30 something men in dating, and the locker room conversations, I cannot help think that most younger men are not dating much older women for the reasons that would appear more idealistic. I disagree with that. I'm hard-pressed to believe that macho locker room talk is the shining example of truth and true feelings. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 Just now, snowcones said: I disagree with that. I'm hard-pressed to believe that macho locker room talk is the shining example of truth and true feelings. The reality is, to some degree, some of this talk is exactly how some feel. It doesn't matter whether you believe them to be or not. Some , many younger men date older women for reasons that are simply not out of some adoration or respect. There is no arguing against that. The locker room is exactly where some feel most comfortable talking about these things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: The reality is, to some degree, some of this talk is exactly how some feel. It doesn't matter whether you believe them to be or not. Some , many younger men date older women for reasons that are simply not out of some adoration or respect. There is no arguing against that. The locker room is exactly where some feel most comfortable talking about these things. I mentioned in one of my previous posts that I do see a good amount of "cougar" hunters. Just saying that word "cougar" makes me laugh because it implies that it's the female hunting the male - which of course is part of THEIR sexual fantasy, not ours. Men have SO MANY fantasies, we women can't even keep up with all of them, and you project them on us. 😂 Anyway, yes there are boorish "cougar hunters" who are just looking for sex, but as I said, they are easy to spot, and those are probably the ones you are referring to. What you can't believe (for whatever reason which I think is funny) is that any younger man wants something more than sex with an older woman. I'm not suggesting marriage or anything, because these guys aren't thinking of marrying anyone really, not even younger women. They just want to hang out with someone they feel attracted to who they think is good company and good conversation RIGHT NOW. They not thinking beyond that and that's okay. I guess that's just too hard for you to believe, but I can't help you with that. Edited May 31, 2020 by snowcones 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 This reminds me of those guys who cheat who go around saying that ALL men cheat and that if you believe that your man is not cheating on you, then he's just lying to you. LOL Funny. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 1 minute ago, snowcones said: I mentioned in one of my previous posts that I do see a good amount of "cougar" hunters. Just saying that word "cougar" makes me laugh because it implies that it's the female hunting the male - which of course is part of THEIR sexual fantasy. Men have SO MANY fantasies, we women can't even keep up with all of them, and you project them on us. 😂 Anyway, yes there are boorish "cougar hunters" who are just looking for sex, but as I said, they are easy to spot, and those are probably the ones you are referring to. What you can't believe (for whatever reason which I think is funny) is that any younger man wants something more than sex with an older woman. I'm not suggesting marriage or anything, because these guys aren't thinking of marrying anyone really, not even younger women. They just want to hang out with someone they feel attracted to who they think is good company and good conversation RIGHT NOW. They not thinking beyond that and that's okay. I guess that's just too hard for you to believe, but I can't help you with that. No no. Don't get me wrong. I am convinced and have seen a relationship or two where the guy is much younger and all seems to be well...I am not suggesting that all young men are like that...there are some. Some much younger guys who are ready to settle down with a much older woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 31, 2020 Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) Honestly sounds like theres a lot of older men who date older women without any adoration and respect either...... Just go for the dudes (of any age) that do show adoration and respect.... easy peasy Edited May 31, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: No no. Don't get me wrong. I am convinced and have seen a relationship or two where the guy is much younger and all seems to be well...I am not suggesting that all young men are like that...there are some. Some much younger guys who are ready to settle down with a much older woman. I know there are those guys who are like "I am looking for my WIFE and future mother of my children" (which I believe is 1/3 of men aged 25-35), and they aren't looking for older women. Not in the least. And to be quite frank, I wouldn't want to deal with them anyway. I'm beyond the whole raise a family thing. "Settling down" is relative. Most guys just want one cool chick to kick it with. (At least one at a time 😂) Edited May 31, 2020 by snowcones 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowcones Posted May 31, 2020 Author Share Posted May 31, 2020 (edited) "Honestly sounds like theres a lot of older men who date older women with any adoration and respect either...... Just go for the dudes (of any age) that do show adoration and respect...." 😂😂 That's what I was saying earlier.... I just go for the nicest ones and the ones who are the most attractive to me. Edited May 31, 2020 by snowcones 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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