How long to fall in love long distance?

[Sam2020]

Met him during the Christmas holiday while he was visiting family in my state for a few weeks.  We are both around 58-60 age range.  We saw each other every day for 17 days, he really wined and dined me and we both seemed smitten with one another.   He eventually invited me to visit him (3000 miles away).  So the following month, I flew to his state and stayed with him for three weeks.  We got along well, cooked, went out to museums, dinner and shopping.  Upon me leaving to fly home, he said he was "investing" in me.  Since I told him that my "love language" was quality time, we had planned for him to fly back and stay with me in April-May (he was taking an early retirement) and I was then going to stay with him during the summer.  Of course that all came to a halt with Covid 19.  He was initially calling me every couple of days until I said I was feeling disconnected to him.  So we've spoken pretty much daily for the past two months and FaceTime once a week.  

My question is this, is it too early to fall in love?  Do many guys take months and months to fall in love? I mean, we spent a total of 37 days together in my home state and his.  My thinking is that 37 days is equivalent to about 3-4 months of dating so I had expected him feel a lot stronger about me by now.  I asked him about it and he said "love grows".  That confuses me because every one of my "love" relationships, the guy has expressed love to me within the three month period.  And I even did a google search and it too guys generally fall in love within that time frame.  I've held on to my own heart in order to NOT fall in love since he lives so far away and we are unable to be together.  He's hoping to fly here in early fall, but who knows what could happen with the virus.  Neither of us want to get on an airplane unless there's a vaccine.  *sigh*

 

Edited June 1, 2020 by Sam2020

[chillii]

 

Sure 37 days , `1 day , 300 days. For him to me just going on what you've said , he def; seems keen long term. He could easily be feeling it now but just guarded until he see's how things go , and then there's the distance too so. You know we learn the hard way to be cautious about jumping in as we get older and sadly that interferes a lot with our emotions and what we give in to and when.

To me just on what you've said he sounds to me as if he is well on his way or even there already but just holding back for now.

[d0nnivain]

It's different with an LDR.  It's more slow, more subtle.  Don't get hung up on time lines.  See how you feel when you get to see each other again.  

[Sam2020]

Thanks for the replies.  Since this is my first LDR it's difficult to navigate feelings and such.  Now I know why I never did it before.  But under current world circumstances, I suppose I need more patience and less worry.  

[justwhoiam]

On 6/2/2020 at 1:03 AM, Sam2020 said:

is it too early to fall in love?

I don't think you can really command how you feel about him. You just have feelings. You can rationalize, but why? In order not to get your hopes high? Some people your age would "kill" to be able to feel that way.

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Do many guys take months and months to fall in love?

Some do, some don't.

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I had expected him feel a lot stronger about me by now.  I asked him about it and he said "love grows".

Uhm, sorry, but you got cold on him... with your comment about feeling disconnected. He already had a goal and even let you know. If you throw water on fire, that's what you get. And now you complain about the outcome?

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Neither of us want to get on an airplane unless there's a vaccine.  *sigh*

Try to be rational. Screening, distances and use of sanitizer, gloves and mask leave a very slim chance of you getting anything. Unless your life is already kind of compromised and you can't risk it.