helena abadi Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 dark knight... 3 years. felt like a lifetime. i agree with temelkov. when you're still a mess, don't mess with others til you've fixed yourself up. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Yeah my girlfriend and I started having problems one month ago today, we have been split for 2 weeks.. but I cannot see myself even kissing another woman until at least the new year now... You need time out. Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 there is that as well. i just didn't want anyone else to touch me. nothing triggered off feelings about the ex more than being physically even near another guy. so rebound was hopeless. never got past couple of platonic dates. glad i felt like that tho. better than bed bunnies who just hop in with anything new........ Link to post Share on other sites
darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 POSITIVE CHALLENGE..... Think about James Bond or if you are of a more literary persausion Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Strong and Silent. Image 007 was off to the casino and his gf gave him sh*t about it would he give in, NO WAY. But he would rebuke her in charming and sophisticated manner, NOTHING TOO HEAVY. Then off to the casino and all forgotten. Imagine OO7's gf was becoming distant would he disintegrate into 003.5 begging pleading over-analysing NO WAY. He would go about his business and allow her to miss him. He would verbalise because he is a man of action. He would keep himself in mind go to the gym buy a new tux from saville row and get out and about. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. The future missus Bond would get the message. I am my own man you don't define me. Finally, would Bond, James Bond text, email and phone the gf every minute of every day. NO WAY he is strong and he has a life, the gym/work/social life and he is not willing to give that up. In the first "dating period of a relationship keep it brief, keep it to the point (i.e. next date) and keep it light OK that's the challenge bit......now for the positivity... When you see a girl you like, be on time, make it imaginative not necessarily expensive! Be a gentleman, Dress up and give the lady you are with your full attention. Be kind, listen and make it a great date/night in or whatever you are about. Then you will be a positive challenge. Woman are keen on that kind of approach, not new men or emasculated men or jerks (if they are sane) Link to post Share on other sites
darkknight Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 there is that as well. i just didn't want anyone else to touch me. nothing triggered off feelings about the ex more than being physically even near another guy. so rebound was hopeless. never got past couple of platonic dates. glad i felt like that tho. better than bed bunnies who just hop in with anything new........ TOTALLY AGREED that if you are not into a rebound then don't venture. However, don't feel guilty or unfaithful. Just get on with life as soon as you feel you can. And the physical benefits of great sex can't be overstated. It doesn't always have to be the love of your life Link to post Share on other sites
helena abadi Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 that's a really good comment, about not feeling unfaithful or guilty. dunno why that comes up for me so strongly. it's happened before. and months down the track. even when i've been the one to break up first. Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 11, 2005 Share Posted October 11, 2005 Dark- Wow, thank you. I think that sums up exactly what many of us need to do and quickly. If I feel lousy tomorrow night going to the restaurant, I'll use that image. I really appreciate that insight! Link to post Share on other sites
Author brittanyjean259 Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 so yeah i guess rebounds are a really bad thing...i meen i dont see how there not...i havent rebounded...but i have meen flirtatsious only to realize the next day ew what was i doing? lol.... that is a rebound affect though and i just need to keep telling my self that over and over... i feel bad for the people who actually make them selves beleive everything is fine only to find out 3 months later well yeah...hope people think first! i meen life isnt that nice to you okay after a breakk up..you find someone and fallin love with them...i meen with people who dont have healing periods... that just doesnt seem right unles there really crazy and it is a rebound and they dont realize it MORE in puts im so curious ive been investigating them ever since my boy rebounded...not that im waiting around for him though Link to post Share on other sites
Author brittanyjean259 Posted October 11, 2005 Author Share Posted October 11, 2005 yeah be very honest, i meen how can you not want to....bc there is a big chance you will see this person differently eather a week later...or months... and eh haha Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Sorry all to beat this to death and I realize this really belongs in a different thread but it is still part of the whole rebound thing: I am supposed to take someone I have been seeing for about 2 months to a fancy birthday dinner tonight. She has suddenly cooled big time and yesterday (her actual birthday) I was not included in any of her plans. So...do I cancel tonight or go and put on every air that it did not and will not bother me how she has acted the last 2 weeks. I really don't want to go, but even less do I want it to show how it affected me. Thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 12, 2005 Share Posted October 12, 2005 Every instinct I have tells me not to go...Com'on my friends, I need some guidance and I need it quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 DarkKnight- Just to let you know, your "Positive Challenge" theory works like an absolute charm. Amazing how a change of one's own attitude so directly affects the way other people treat you. Thanks again for sharing one of the best posts on LS. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 off2sea, i think following the bond theory, you would go, and make it a good time, and then not call her afterwards. maybe dark knight would disagree. Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Thanks, I ended up going and it was a beautiful night, great food & wine. Today I may or may not return her calls. I hate the games but it is great for self-preservation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brittanyjean259 Posted October 13, 2005 Author Share Posted October 13, 2005 do you think its possible to be happy right away after a break up( if you still have feelings) could that be eather indeinal.. and if your happy at first with your rebound who you jumped in to with...are the possibilitys of you being truly happy false and will fade away? Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 The rebound takes the edge off a bit. Unfortunately I thought it would be a cure-all and when that person lets you down as well it exemplifies the first loss. So...I have backed off on the rebound relationship a bit to put things in perspective. I am keeping it going but on a much different scale- enjoying it for what it is, nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 I think that rebounds aren't a problem if you're honest with yourself. I broke up with my ex about a month ago and I guess I would be rebounding now. My advice: Don't let it get too serious too soon If you would be crushed if you're rebound didn't call you on Saturday night, you probably shouldn't be seeing the person I don't see rebounds as a problem. I don't see why they can't work out as long as you go slow and deal with the emotions you still might be feeling for an ex. I DON'T think you should get into a relationship soon after you break up with someone, but casual dating never hurt anyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author brittanyjean259 Posted October 14, 2005 Author Share Posted October 14, 2005 awsome on the replys guys:) dating does no harm, i will when im ready i just dont want to hurt any1 but i will be very truthful Link to post Share on other sites
Jilly10340 Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 I think that dating is a good idea when you can go out on a date without feeling guilty about it. I know that the first date I went out on after my ex broke up with me, I felt extremely guilty and uneasy all night. That pretty much let me know that it was way too soon for me to be doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brittanyjean259 Posted October 15, 2005 Author Share Posted October 15, 2005 ever since me and my boyfriend broke up, i have instantly been attracted to much more guys than usual. I defently know its a rebound effect for me because guys that i find attractive once i start like gettin involved not meening like involved but i meen like saying hey or whats up...i pull away than the next week im like ew what was i thinking... i guess we subconsouly try to ease the pain and dont really know what were doing...but its a good thing, because when i do like a person i will defently know the difference! and i think i am doing the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
scobro Posted October 15, 2005 Share Posted October 15, 2005 Does the phrase, "golf ball through a garden hose" mean anything? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Author brittanyjean259 Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 what does that phrase meen any ways? haha Link to post Share on other sites
The Prototype Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 It refers to her ability to give fantastic oral sex? Picture sucking a golf ball through a garden hose; it is quite a feat! Link to post Share on other sites
ohzee Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Don't do it! Read my post....Someone always ends up hurt. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=633215#post633215 Link to post Share on other sites
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