poshbakerloo Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 (edited) We love eachother and live together, but he's dating someone else! When I say love, I mean I know he loves me like I love home... But I'm also in love with him. We've been best friends since briefly dating almost 3 years ago and since moved in together (separate bedrooms, we've never slept together). It probably doesn't help that I'm 30 and never been in a relationship before, he's 31 and has been in several relationships, long and short term. Knows how I feel about him. He's since starting dating another guy (we're gay btw). I think he remembers how I feel as he's been a bit sheepish about it, downplaying things and making out like it's nothing big. I'm not annoyed with him as we're friends/ both single. But it's definitely not easy! I've started talking to other guys but it definitely feels like I'm on more of a rebound. I love him with all of my heart, literally think about him every day for years now. We share a great life together, everything is perfect - other than this recent guy who's appeared! Hmmmm Edited June 3, 2020 by poshbakerloo Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 The way you phrased that title, you made it sound like you are in a relationship. But you are not. You're essentially roommates. And from what you describe, it sounds clear that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. So you just have to get over it. And it will be kinda hard for you to get over it if you're living with him and seeing him date other people. I would suggest NOT living with him, if that's something you can arrange. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 On 6/3/2020 at 9:24 AM, poshbakerloo said: We've been best friends since briefly dating almost 3 years ago and since moved in together. Bad, bad mistake. He gets a roommate and best friend who is in love with him. Win win for him. There is nothing better than a friend who loves you soooo much, they will almost do anything for you.. You, however get to stay home pining for him whilst he sees and sleeps with whoever he wants. You want him to one day notice you and reward you for your devotion, and you will both live happily ever after, but that doesn't happen. One day he will meet the love of his life and leave you in the dust. Move out ASAP and start living your own life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author poshbakerloo Posted June 15, 2020 Author Share Posted June 15, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: One day he will meet the love of his life and leave you in the dust. I think that's what I worry about, I've never really had that much of an issue with him dating other guys. I've met up with a few guys since we moved in together (his suggestion we live together btw) I just find it so hard to build any meaningful bond, which has always been the case with anyone. The guy I live with really is the love of my life - he's also my best friend and I know he loves me back, he just is not IN love with me. He knows exactly how I feel too. Edited June 15, 2020 by poshbakerloo Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 2 minutes ago, poshbakerloo said: we moved in together (his suggestion we live together btw) 2 minutes ago, poshbakerloo said: The guy I live with really is the love of my life - he's also my best friend and I know he loves me back, he just is not IN love with me. He knows exactly how I feel too. All this is wonderful, but only FOR HIM. He gets to live with his no.1 fan. What's not to like? You need to break free before this ruins your life. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Since he apparently knows how you feel, and is not in love with you, your choices are limited. At least you should move out so his dating isn't in your face. Whether or not you can accept the situation and remain friends is a separate concern - and you will have to let go of any hope that he will some day love you. Also, you should probably start dating - you probably won't find someone else you can love without trying. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 Nothing about this is perfect. You think you love somebody who doesn't feel the same way about you. He thinks you two are platonic buddies. He thinks you successfully made the transition from a once upon a time long ago failed romance to being good friends. The only way for you to heal is to confess all of your love & feelings for him in the hopes that he's ready for a fully committed exclusive relationship with you but if he doesn't want that you have to move. Staying & pining for somebody you can't have especially if you will have to deal with him having sex with others in the next room then be forced to be polite at breakfast is incredibly unhealthy for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 15, 2020 Share Posted June 15, 2020 He's not your boyfriend and it seems clear he never will be. I agree you should move out and get on with your life. This isn't healthy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted June 18, 2020 Share Posted June 18, 2020 You really need to move out and get some distance from him. The longer you stay there the worse it will be for you. You will never have a relationship with him because he doesn't want one with you. You will end up a broken man if you stay there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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