Deaana Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 Hello! I wanted to ask you about something that made my friends and me feel awkward. My friend was introducing to us his new grilfriend. Suddenly he said to her "I told you they are very beautiful, more than you." Then he started laughing and said to her "no babe I'm kidding". Most of the girls in our friends' group have worked as models, but the girl was so attractive as well. We all could notice that she wasn't that happy to meet us after his joke and it was an awkaward situation for us as well. We didn't know what to say because what to say beacause we could make her feel more insecure. How would you react? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 Unfortunately the moment passed. The second he said that I would have looked him square in the eye & snapped, What a horrible thing to say. Then I would have looked at her I would have assured her, You're beautiful. He's an ass. At that point, the focus is on him. You also now know what an awful person he is so I'd give him a wide berth. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I wouldn't be friends with that idiot anymore. He's one of those "only kidding" kind of guys who enjoys tearing others down. His girlfriend is crazy if she doesn't dump him forthwith. Maybe you can reach out and tell her that. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deaana Posted June 4, 2020 Author Share Posted June 4, 2020 17 hours ago, preraph said: I wouldn't be friends with that idiot anymore. He's one of those "only kidding" kind of guys who enjoys tearing others down. His girlfriend is crazy if she doesn't dump him forthwith. Maybe you can reach out and tell her that. He has done that with another girl too though. After that she said to him "you are the biggest a**h*** I've ever met. No just kidding" Then she left. I do't get it how can a guy treat his girlfriend like a piece of s***. It hurts to hear this from the one you love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 3 hours ago, Deaana said: He has done that with another girl too though. After that she said to him "you are the biggest a**h*** I've ever met. No just kidding" Then she left. If she chooses to stay, next time he does something like this (which he will she can count on that), she should say in front of HIS friends, "did I ever tell you you've got the tiniest d*ck I've ever seen"? Give it a minute and then say "haha just kidding"! What a dope. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 The fact of the matter is that more than likely he WAS NOT KIDDING but rather trying to make a point and using "I'm kidding" as his bailout. In Pop's terminology D-BAG MOVE. I just don't get where people (in general) lose sight of common courtesy and kindness towards others. Why even utter those words? What does it achieve? What's the end game? Hurting someone never achieves much of anything so why do it? There will always be someone more beautiful, smarter, with more athletic prowess, more accomplished (be there done that) so why not try and be content with yourself and others around you. Dope is a good word although I can think of a few more. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
deepthinking Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) He really is boy-ish, immature, I mean to say, most grown men want women's approval and avoid being a jerk. Weird guy... Edited June 4, 2020 by deepthinking new thought 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 4 hours ago, Deaana said: He has done that with another girl too though. After that she said to him "you are the biggest a**h*** I've ever met. No just kidding" Then she left. I do't get it how can a guy treat his girlfriend like a piece of s***. It hurts to hear this from the one you love. Take care of anybody who is one of those only joking type people, please remember that if those words came out of his mouth, they were in his little pea brain first. That is what he thinks and he is not getting. He is just an a****** whi gets a little boner from tearing down other people to build himself up and feel superior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 The fact that this is the second time he did this & you are still friends with him says a lot about you. Get him out of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deaana Posted June 4, 2020 Author Share Posted June 4, 2020 14 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: The fact that this is the second time he did this & you are still friends with him says a lot about you. Get him out of your life. Well, actually he is my colleauge. I can't get him out of my life if I still need that job 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 20 minutes ago, Deaana said: Well, actually he is my colleauge. I can't get him out of my life if I still need that job 😅 You can get him out of your friend circle. Deal with him only about work & do so remotely as much as possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 (edited) You should be reporting him to HR in writing instead of coddling him if you work with him. Totally out of line. I worked with an abrasive "only joking" guy off and on and everyone knew what he was like. He did finally get fired about it, but then he was at an office I took over and had to deal with him all over again. I did get rid of him though. He left before I fired him. We knew each other well enough from the past job that he knew when I was pissed and where the end of my tether was. Edited June 4, 2020 by preraph Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 15 minutes ago, preraph said: You should be reporting him to HR in writing instead of coddling him if you work with him. I don't know that HR has jurisdiction. This man insulted to women he was dating. OP did not say the women were fellow employees. In the original example, this "joke" happened when the guy introduced his new GF to his friends. If these horrible comments were made off the employer's property in a purely social context, there is not much HR can do even if some of the audience were co-workers 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 Well, it's true I'm projecting into it because I worked with a guy like that and he was like that to everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2020 Share Posted June 4, 2020 If he behaves like this or similarly at work, by all means tell HR. I just don't want the OP to get labeled not a team player if HR can't actually help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 Can't you, as a friend, just say something to him about his rudeness? Tell him she was probably hurt by his comment and that it is not a funny joke. Advise him to apologise at least. If he takes it the wrong way, then so what? It's not as though you've lost a very dear friend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 23, 2020 Share Posted June 23, 2020 It seems like one of their real goals is to put the other person in position where if they're hurt by it then they can further put them down by saying you're too sensitive or can't take a joke. That's how they feel Superior. Link to post Share on other sites
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